Jack AlbertsonQuotes

Wonka: How did you like the chocolate factory, Charlie?

Charlie: I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole world.

Wonka: I'm very pleased to hear you say that, because I'm giving it to you.

Charlie: [gasps softly in surprise] What?

Wonka: That's all right, isn't it?

Grandpa Joe: You're giving Charlie the...?

Wonka: I can't go on forever, and I don't really want to try. So who can I trust to run the factory when I leave and take care of the Oompa Loompas for me? Not a grown up. A grown up would wanna do everything his own way, not mine. That's why I decided a long time ago that I had to find a child, a very honest, loving child, to whom I could tell all my most precious candy-making secrets.

Charlie: And that's why you sent out the golden tickets.

Wonka: That's right. So the factory's yours, Charlie. You can move in immediately.

Grandpa Joe: And me?

Wonka: Absolutely.

Charlie: What happens to the rest...?

Wonka: [[family] The whole ]. I want you to bring them all.

Wonka: But, Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.

Charlie: What happened?

Wonka: [smiles, and hugs Charlie again] He lived happily ever after.

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka?

Wonka: I am extraordinarily busy, sir.

Grandpa Joe: I just wanted to ask about the chocolate... the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?

Wonka: He doesn't.

Grandpa Joe: Why not?

Wonka: Because he broke the rules.

Grandpa Joe: [confused] What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we, Charlie?

Wonka: [angrily, yelling; holds up half of a document, and half a magnifying glass; slams the document and magnifying glass down; returns to work in a huff] WRONG, sir! WRONG!! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera... "Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera... "Memo bis punitor delicatum!" It's ALL there; BLACK and white, clear as CRYSTAL!! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be WASHED and STERILIZED, so you get... NOTHING!!! You LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

Grandpa Joe: [shocked; furiously; lividly] You're a crook... You're a CHEAT and a SWINDLER...! THAT'S what you are!! How can you DO a thing like this; BUILD up a little boy's hopes, and then SMASH all his dreams to pieces?! YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!!

Wonka: [cutting him off; goes on about his work in a huff] I SAID "GOOD DAY"!!!

Grandpa Joe: [sets to leave] Come on, Charlie. Let's get out of here. I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do! If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one!

Charlie: Mr. Wonka...

Wonka: [puts his hand on the Gobstopper; looks up; smiles; The man hitherto known as Slugworth walks in.] So shines a good deed in a weary world." Charlie? My boy. You've won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would! I just knew you would! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this. Please, forgive me. Come in, Mr. Wilkinson! Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!

Wilkinson: Pleasure!

Charlie: Slugworth!

Wonka: No, no! That's not Slugworth! He works for me!

Charlie: For you?

Wonka: [Charlie beams brightly] I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You won!

Grandpa Joe: Won what?

Wonka: The jackpot, my dear sir! The GRAND and GLORIOUS JACKPOT!

Charlie: The chocolate?

Wonka: The chocolate, yes! The chocolate, but that's just the beginning! We have to get on! We have to get on! We have so much time, and so little to do! Strike that. Reverse it. This way, please!

Charlie: Why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka?

Grandpa Joe: Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit!

Charlie: Grandpa, look over there across the river! They're little men!

Grandpa Joe: Jumping crocodiles, Charlie! Now we know who makes the chocolate.

Henry Salt: I never saw anybody with an orange face before. Funny-looking people, aren't they, Wonka?

Mrs. Teevee: What are they doing there?

Wonka: Must be creaming and sugaring time.

Violet: Well, they can't be real people.

Wonka: Well, of course they're real people.

Henry Salt: Stuff and nonsense!

Wonka: No. Oompa Loompas.

Group: [turn around] Oompa Loompas?!

Wonka: From Loompaland.

Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland?! There's no such place.

Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady...

Mrs. Teevee: [[geography] Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of ].

Wonka: Oh, well, then you know all about it. And what a terrible country it is! Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Whangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Whangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten Vermicious Knids.

Henry Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?

Wonka: [continues] I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy, I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.

Veruca: Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away!

Henry Salt: All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.

Veruca: I want an Oompa Loompa now!

Violet: [Veruca glares at Violet] Can it, you nit!!

Augustus Gloop: [drinking from the chocolate river] Mmm! This stuff is terrific!

Charlie: Grandpa, look at Augustus!

Grandpa Joe: Don't worry, he can't drink it all!

Reverend Frank Scott: Mr. Rosen...look...the last thing she said to me was "Give this to Manny to give to our grandson from both of us". Your place is with the living. If you don't come with us, her death is meaningless. Now come on.

Manny Rosen: All right, you go first. I want to stay with her a little longer.

Reverend Frank Scott: You've got one minute.

Manny Rosen: Belle, be careful.

Belle Rosen: [dives in] Manny, you think I'm planning to be careless?

Mike Rogo: What the hell does he think she's doing?!

Manny Rosen: Let her go! She knows what she's doing!

Linda Rogo: This is a bunch of crap. We're sinking and nothing's going to keep us from drowning.

Mike Rogo: Keep moving.

Manny Rosen: He's right, Mrs. Rogo, there are air pockets all over the ship.

Linda Rogo: Air pockets?

Manny Rogen: Yes, just because that deck is flooded doesn't mean this one will.

Nonnie Parry: How long will we stay afloat?

James Martin: [gently] Long enough.

Robin Shelby: The Andrea Doria stayed afloat for 10 hours before she sank.

James Martin: You see, Nonnie, everything's gonna be alright. We have a long time to go.

Mike Rogo: Come on, keep moving, keep moving.