Brazil - Absurdity of Bureaucracy and Compliance
Arresting Officer:
That is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt.
Bill, Department of Works:
Mistakes? We don't make mistakes.
Charlie, Department of Works:
Bloody typical, they've gone back to metric without telling us.
Guard:
Don't fight it, son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating.
Mr. Warrenn:
Ahhhh! Here we are. Your very own number, on your very own door. And behind that door, your very own office! Congratulations, DZ-stroke-oh-one-five. Welcome to the team!
Mr. Warrenn:
And what the hell is this mess. An empty desk is an efficient desk...I don't know what's going on here, Lowry, but don't think you can intimidate us with your friends and relatives in high places. NOW SHAPE UP!
Kurtzmann:
It's been confusion from the word go! He's been overcharged for Information Retrieval Procedures and someone somewhere is trying to make us carry the can.
Jack Lint:
We've always been close, haven't we? Well, until this whole thing blows over, just stay away from me.
Jack Lint:
This is information retrieval not information dispersal.
Dr. Lewis Jaffe:
Can you believe it? Just me and my little knife. Snip, snip, slice, slice...But this is just the beginning...You've seen her with her clothes off. Faces are a doddle compared to tits and ass. No hairlines.
Dr. Chapman:
That technique...I've tried it. A nice effect, but highly unstable. In six months, she'll look like Grandma Moses.
Spoor:
Where'd you get this from, eh? Out yer nostril?
Spoor:
All you've got to do is blow your nose and it's fixed, in't it?
Holly:
Put it on, big boy. I won't look at your willy.
Mrs. Terrain:
My complication had a little complication. But Dr. Jaffe says I'll soon be up and bounding about like a young gazelle.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Time Bandits - Unexpected Edibility in Time Bandits
Wally:
Vermin, that is not meant to be eaten.
Vermin:
You never know till you've eaten it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.