Memorable Quotes from James DeBello
11 quotesThe Justification for Stealing a Candy Bar
Tommy
Boy, you want to give me one good reason why you would steal a Snickers bar?
Bert
The nougat?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Pancakes in Cabin Fever
Dennis
Pancakes! PANCAKES! PANCAKES!
[yelling]
Bert
No, No Pancakes!
Dennis
PANCAKES!!!
Bert
No Pancakes!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Solving Mysteries with Matching Lingerie
Rod
You know, all you gotta do is find the matching bra to those panties and bam! Mystery solved!
Matthew
That's not a half bad idea.
Rod
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Squirrel Hunting and Homosexuality
Karen
Bert, what the hell is that?
Bert
I'm going to go shoot some squirrels.
Paul
Why would you want to kill squirrels?
Bert
Because they're gay.
Karen
Bert, don't be a fucking retard.
Bert
I'm kidding. I don't care if they're gay or straight, I'll kill them either way.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Access Denied to the Virgin Vault
Rod
You're never gonna get in the Virgin Vault, man. They don't let boys in the girls side, alright?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Seductive Nature of Women's Anatomy
Matthew
Y'know, I wonder why God equipped women with all the weapons for seduction.
Rod
What do you mean?
Matthew
Well, take the breast for example. You have the bosom, the areola, the nipple. I mean, those are three concentric circles. In other words, it's a bullseye! It's no wonder the breast is the target for all men.
Rod
Wow. That's profound.
Matthew
And men are grotesque. I'm not just talking about the little habits we have...
Matthew
...like cleaning our ears with our car keys. I mean, we're grotesque to the core. I mean, look at the penis. The penis... it just looks like God had some left-over skin when he was making elbow, and He decided to slap it in our groin...
Rod
Hey, get that outta here! It freaks me out, ok?
Matthew
I mean, the penis is the first to shrivel when it's cold, it's the first to shrink in fear. The penis is a coward. It's a cowardly flap of left-over elbow flesh.
Rod
Maybe you wouldn't think that way if you had a little of my Penile Power, baby!
[laughs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Quest for Penile Enhancement
Rod
You're pathetic man. I mean you lose your virginity and you don't even get the girls name.
Matthew
What the hell is that?
[pointing at the weight dangling between Rod's legs]
Rod
It's penile power man. I got it out of an ad in a magazine. I mean, it's going to help me increase my length and girth, all just by hanging weights from my cock, man. Check it out man. I'm up to five pounds.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Coyote Genius and the Roadrunner Dilemma
Rod
What are you? Coyote super genius or something?
Matthew
Yeah. Something like that.
Rod
Wait! The Coyote never caught the Roadrunner, man!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Appearance vs. Reality in Relationships
Rod
Oh, yeah, nice from a far, but far from nice.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Libido and Performance Enhancement Insights
Rod
But check it out, this penile power thing, it's going to help me you know, increase my libido, help me maintain a full, firm erection and it's gonna help me control my ejaculation baby, so I'm going to be going all night long.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Relationships and Attitude
Rod
Man, take it easy, and if she's easy, take her twice.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.