Jason Sudeikis Quotes - Best Lines & Interviews

Memorable Quotes from Jason Sudeikis

8 quotes

Colossal

Unexpected Identities in a Strange Encounter

Gloria Keep it cool. These people are looking at us.

Oscar Hi. She's the monster; I'm the robot.

[looks at the women at the next table]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Colossal

Confronting Reality After a Night of Regret

Oscar You don’t remember anything last night, huh?

Gloria I got really melodramatic, didn’t I?

Oscar You told me that you weren’t really on a vacation, that you’ve been looking for a job for a year, your boyfriend didn’t work out. And since you didn’t have any money you decided to move back here.

Gloria Is there anything else?

Oscar You don’t remember anything?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Colossal

Nervous ticks and their impact on conversation

Oscar You alright?

Gloria Yeah, it’s this nervous tick I have, I get this itch.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

We're the Millers

Miscommunication Among Friends

David Clark Oh, hello, Brad. Where the fuck have you been? I left you like 5 messages, man!

[on the phone, to Brad]

Brad David! You’re alive! Cool! How did that happen?

David Why don’t you ask the real Pablo Chacon how it happened?

Brad I’m not gonna make excuses. It was kind of a dick move. A little bit.

David A dick move? A dick move!

Brad Little bit of a dick move.

David Okay, well, tell you what. I’m not driving another fuckin’ mile, all right? I want some goddamn hazard pay from your ass. Otherwise, I’m gonna turn around and get this smidge of pot back to Chacon, along with your fucking address. Do you understand me?

Brad It actually sounds like you’re threatening to double-cross me.

David Fucking right I am!

Brad And I’m kind of turned on right now. You make a good case for hazard pay. How much you want?

David How much? Oh, I don’t know, I’m thinking half a million dollars. How about that?

Brad Done.

David Fuckin’ right it’s done. Good.

Brad But I need it here by tonight or the deal is off.

David Okay. No problem. That’s fine with me.

Brad Where the hell are you anyway?

David We're at the Corrales Regional Medical Center in the middle of Buttfuck, New Mexico.

Brad Why?

David Clark Why? Why?! Because this goddamn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant-ass spider, that's why!

Brad That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops any superpowers? Listen, man, giddyup, okay? Tick-tock.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

We're the Millers

Debt and Betrayal in a Changed Relationship

Brad So, where's my money, David?

David Clark Come on, man. We go back.

Brad Here's the thing: We do go back. But it's not college anymore, okay? We're not just selling lids out of my dorm room. And you owe me $43,000.

David Clark I told you, I got robbed, Brad. They took everything I had, man. This week's drop, 22 grand of my own money that I'd saved, I'm fucked.

Brad Listen, this is a fucked up situation, but I might have a win-win for both of us.

David Clark Great.

Brad I have a smidge of very choice mari-ju-ana down in Mexico and I need it here by Sunday night, but my regular courier is out on a count of the fact that he got gunned down. Anyway, that's where you come in. You could be my mule. I need someone I can trust. You go down to Mexico, bring it back here by Sunday night, not only will I forgive your debt, I will pay you a standard courier fee of $100,000.

David Clark You're gonna give me 100 grand to move a smidge across the border?

Brad Smidge and a half. It's nothing.

David Clark Dude, I got rolled by the fucking cast of ]. Now I come walking in here you're asking me to become an international drug dealer.

[[Annie (1982 film)|Annie]

Brad This is easy money, David. Come on, all you gotta do is pop down to Mexico, go to this address and tell them you're there to pick up for Pablo Chacon.

David Clark Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon?

Brad I am. Yo soy Pablo Chacon. You don't get a lot of respect from the Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

What Happens in Vegas

Questioning the Nature of Planning

Mason Did you just make a plan to make a plan?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Colossal

Confrontation Over Leaving a Bar

Gloria Here! There are your keys; I'm not coming back to your shitty bar!

[throws the bar keys towards Oscar]

Oscar Yeah you are.