Jay Underwood Quotes - Best Lines & Interviews

Memorable Quotes from Jay Underwood

3 quotes

Uncle Buck

A Humorous Exchange About Boundaries

Bug Ever hear of a tune-up? Hee hee hee hee hee.

Buck Ah-hee-hee-hee! Ever hear of a ritual killing? Ah-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

[Mockingly]

Bug I don't get it.

Buck You gnaw on her face in public like that again and you'll be one. Ah-hee-hee-hee-hee.

Tia Are you crazy?

Buck I can be.

Tia You could have taken his head off!

Buck Yeah, but would he notice?

Tia Can we get something straight?

Buck The guy's a predator and you're his prey.

Tia Really?

Buck You bet.

Tia And how would you know?

Buck When I was his age, I was a guy zooming girls like you. Pretty face, good chip on your shoulder.

Tia I recommend you stay out of my personal life!

Buck Do your parents stay out of your personal life?

Tia They don't know my personal life.

Buck Have they met twiddle-dink?

Tia His name is Bug.

Buck First or last?

[chuckles]

Tia First!

Buck What's his last name, Spray?

Tia You should talk, "Buck.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Uncle Buck

Unexpected Visit and Ice Cream Invitation

Buck Well, well, well, they certainly are scraping the bottom of the barrel for cheerleaders these days.

Tia What are you doing here?

Buck We were just driving by to get some ice cream. Thought you might like to join us.

Tia I said I would be home at 10. It's not even 9!

Buck Who said anything about that? I thought you might like to join us for some ice cream. Maybe your Bug here can join us. We can talk about burying the hatchet. You know what a hatchet is, don't you, Bug?

Bug It's an ax?

Buck Sort of, yeah, yeah. I got one in my car if you'd like to see it.

Bug I'll pass.

Buck Fair enough. I like to carry it, you never know when you're going to need it. A situation may come up, say, for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home, then I'd like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why, I've been known to circumcise a gnat. You're not a gnat, are you, Bug? Wait a minute, bug, gnat. Is there a little similarity? Whoaaa, I think there is! Ha ha ha. You understand what I'm talking about? I don't think you do. I'll be right back. Heh heh heh heh.

Tia I'm sorry.

Bug Look, I think you'd better split. I don't exactly want him to go berserk with an ax on me.

Tia He's all talk.

Buck Here it is! Come over, come on, I want to show it to you. Maybe later. Okay.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Uncle Buck

An Apology and a Dentist's Advice

Bug You shithead! I could've suffocated in here!

Buck You know what I'd like you to do. You could be doing both of us a favor. I'd like you to apologize to this lady, please.

Bug I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! OK, ASSHOLE! I'M SORRY!

Buck You may not know this, but I'm an amateur dentist.

[Nowhere near satisfied with Bug's screaming apology]