Memorable Quotes from Jemaine Clement
15 quotesBidding in the Shadows of the Internet
Vladislav
Just leave me to do my dark bidding on the Internet! I'm bidding on a table.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vampire Etiquette on Towel Use
Vladislav
We're vampires. We don't put down towels.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
From Hatred to Appreciation Through Understanding
Vladislav
At first I wanted to kill him, but now I'm glad I spent time to get to know him.
[about '''Stu''']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Virginity and Conflicting Truths Among Friends
Vladislav
Are you a virgin?
[to '''Nick''']
Jackie
Yes.
[interrupts'']
Nick
Umm, no.
Jackie
You were a virgin when we were seeing each other.
[to '''Nick''']
Nick
Yeah, I was 12.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introducing Boris the Animal
Boris the Animal
It's just Boris!
[repeated line, whenever someone calls him "Boris the Animal"]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defiance in the Face of Arrest
Boris the Animal
Go ahead. Arrest me.
[last words]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vladislav's Enthusiastic Bat Encounter
Vladislav
Ooh! Bat Fight!
['''Nick''' and '''Deacon''' quarrel, '''Nick''' runs away by turning into a bat, '''Deacon''' chases after him by also turning into a bat]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Boris's Plan for Invasion and Revenge
Boris the Animal
(To past self) With my help, we'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K, the invasion will be successful and we'll get to keep both of our ar...AR...ARRR...STOP STARING AT IT!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Longing for a long-awaited moment
Boris the Animal
(To K): Yes, my arm. (Speaking to his pet) We've thought about that moment...(looking up) everyday...for the last 40 years.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Appeal of Virgin Blood
Deacon
I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.
Vladislav
I think of it like this. If you're going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Declaration of Unconditional Connection
Boris the Animal
You complete me.
[after his weasel animal settles into the cavity in his hand]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regret Over Cake and Affection
Boris the Animal
Sorry, darling. We did love the cake.
[hanging on to Lily, preventing her from being sucked out into space; releases her]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Agreeing to Disagree
Boris the Animal
Let's agree to disagree!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rewriting History in Men in Black 3
Boris the Animal
Let's rewrite history, shall we, K?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vampires Debate the Importance of Clean Dishes
Vladislav
The point is, Deacon, you have not done the dishes for 5 years!
Viago
Vladislav is right, it's unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over this bench like there.
Vladislav
I'm so embarrassed when people come over here.
Deacon
Why does it matter? You bring them over, you kill them! Vampires don't do dishes!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.