Memorable Quotes from Jim Doughan
1 quoteConfessions of a Rock Vegas Criminal
Chip
Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that there is a criminal in our midst... But, before I expose him into the public. I'd like to give him a chance to step forward that admit his wrong doing only to take his first tiny step towards absolution.
[Everybody gasps]
Towel Confessor
I stole all the towels in my room!
[sobs]
Chip
Well, that is illegal! But, still...
Underwear Confessor
I'm wearing someone else's underwear!
[Everybody gasps and groans]
Chip
No! I was talking about a...
Dinosaur Confessor
I'm systematically poisoning the dinosaurs water supply! In a matter of decades, their entire species will be extinct!
[Everybody laughs]
Chip Rockefeller
All right! This is obviously going nowhere. No, I was talking about a necklace. A very valuable necklace has been stolen from our hotel safe. A necklace belonging to my dear... dear friend, Wilma Slaghoople.
Wilma
My pearls?
Betty
Wilma!
Fred
All right, who did it? So, help me. If you don't step forward right now, I'll personally punch you in the...
Chip
I don't think violence would be necessary, Flintstone. Because, I know exactly, who stole Wilma's pearls... A desperate man drowning and gambling debts.
Fred
Low-life!
Dinosaur Confessor
Hey! Doesn't anybody care about this whole dinosaurs becoming extinct thing?
Everybody
NO!
[Dinosaur Confessor walks away]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.