Jimmi SimpsonQuotes

Phineus: If this genuinely is from Loomis, it must in fact be barely legal.

Hutch: (trying, about the game) Okay, we got this from Loomis. It's called Stay Alive. We don't know much about it except we're not supposed to have it.

Phineus: Miller, man, you in those tunnels again? All the doors are locked.

Miller: Well, now they're open and I'm exploring, tearin shit up... ownin fools.

October: Ownin fools?

Video Game Voice: When fear cripples you, when death's dark shadow surrounds you, drop a rose. It will help you... stay alive.

Swink: We should drop one when we meet up with a boss we can't face.

October: Yeah, the undead can't cross the twig of a wild rose.

Phineus: That is what happens when you read too much goth chick lit.

Phineus: The game's fun. But it kinda moves along at a snail's pace.

Phineus: Move. Move. On the left. Left. LEFT! LEFT!! Goddammit, you noob!

Swink: [Phineus smacks Swink's arm] Don't touch me, A-hole!

Phineus: A-hole", Dude?

Swink: Profanity is for the feeble-minded.

Phineus: Well, I'm "effing" sorry I offended you... fuck-ass. You ready for a good night, bro?

Swink: I can't stay too late, I gotta double back to see a Naughty Network glitch for the theta pledges, Quite the naughty dilemma.

Phineus: Well, you can also take the skirt off and join us playing this virgin game, would you?

Swink: Virgin?

Phineus: Yes.

Swink: Shoot, I-I really shouldn't.

Swink: Okay, I'll figure something out.

Miller: [Elizabeth Bathory attacks his character; Elizabeth Bathory stabs Miller's character] Goddamn it, man! Man, she got me.

October: Oh, one of the little girls?

Miller: Some-some-some...woman, man. I think it was the dame from the painting. You know, that, that...countess. You know, I-I-I-I didn't even get a chance to fight her, man.

Phineus: Okay, well, where's the torture chamber? Cause I want some ass.

Miller: I don't know. I mean, I went through a secret entrance, you know.

Hutch: Hey, you gonna try to get back in the game?

Miller: [sighs; a shadow of Elizabeth Bathory walks past; doesn't see anybody] Well-- Hey, is somebody out there?

Hutch: [through headset] Miller, who you talkin to, man?

Miller: [chuckles] Don't know. Probably some Goddamn rent-a-cop tryin to scare the shit out of the livin'. You know what they say. You know, you play the game too long, you know, you start seeing shit, you know, or have seizures.

Swink: Games could cause seizures. Now, perceptive of reality, on the other hand, has yielded some very interesting, you know, studies.

Phineus: Yeah, I'm sure you've read them all.

Swink: I have. You know, it seems the longer you play, the more your subconscious mind perceives the game world to be a reality. You know, it's really interesting, but it's only a theory, of course. But then, there's, you know, retinal memory, which, you know--

October: [interrupting; politely] That is so fascinating, sweetie, but I'm kind of feeling like we should call it a night.

Hutch: [agreeing with October] Yeah, some of us have got to be at work.

Swink: But I just figured out how to strip one of those zombie concubines naked.

Phin: That is what I'm talking about. How do you do it?

Swink: [[w:Konami Code|Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A(, Start)] ].

Phineus: [enters the code] Boobs.

October: [she and Hutch laugh in amused shock and disgust] Come on, you guys. Hutch is right. We'll pick it back up to date.

Hutch: All right. Miller, you can, uh, rejoin us then.

Miller: Yeah. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, and I'll, uh, check my schedule.

Hutch: Thanks again for hanging with you guys. I really needed it.

Phineus: [sighs; salutes] To Loomis.

Hutch, October, Abigail and Swink: [simultaneously] To Loomis.

Miller: To Loomis.

Scud: What...the hell?

Janet: I couldn't stop them!

Scud: [pauses] You look nice.

Janet: Thanks.

Janet: What?

Max: [to Janet] What are you doing?

Janet: [to Max] Nothing!

Janet: Sorry!

Scud: So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted--

Janet: Yes.

Scud: I didn't ask you anything yet.

Janet: Whatever it is, yes.

Scud: Awesome.

Lucy: Australia's toast.

Scud: Uh-huh, what's your beef with the Australians?

Lucy: I don't like their attitude!

Janet: [catching Amy and Lucy in a near kiss] Oh, my God! She almost kissed you! You almost let her!

Lucy: [scoffs rolling her eyes at Janet] Uhg!

Scud: [smug] You owe me fifty bucks.

Janet: [watching Amy and Lucy flirt] Correct me if I'm wrong, but your friend appears to be hitting on my friend.

Scud: You're not wrong.

Janet: Yeah, but my friend... not into that.

Scud: [under breath] Right.

Scud: Oh my God! What a disaster! I am so sorry! Leave it up to the D.E.B.S... your in a town a week and their all over you, grabbing...

Scud: What?

Lucy: I met someone.

Scud: [Slamming on brakes] I knew it! I mean the thing about the dance was a little wierd, but i had a feeling that you and Ninotchka...

Lucy: No, no, no, no, no Scud. Ninotchka was a train wreck thank you.

Scud: [Puzzled] I'm not following.

Lucy: Okay, but you have to promise that you're not going to freak out.

Scud: Freak Out? Why would I freak out...

Lucy: Well, ya know sometimes you...

Scud: [Freaking out] OH MY GOD WHO IS IT?

Lucy: What do you know about an Amy Bradshaw?

Scud: Amy Bradshaw? The girl from the smuggling op?

Lucy: No.

Scud: Oh my god! Amy Bradshaw? Blonde hair? Plaid skirt? She's a D.E.B.!

Lucy: So?

Scud: Okay, not only is she a D.E.B., She's THE D.E.B.! She's the perfect score!

Lucy: Yes, well, their poster child doesn't know it yet, but she's into me.

Scud: You're scheduled to meet 20:00 hours.

Lucy: Where'd you find her?

Scud: Zeda tipped us. Said she's available, she's in from Prague, relocating state-side.

Lucy: Assassin?

Scud: Check.

Lucy: Where's the meet?

Scud: Les Deux Amours. Trendy, yet discreet.

Lucy: [looking over the image of Ninotchka and shifting her eyes side to side as she thinks; gets up out of her chair] Cancel it.

Scud: Why?! It's all set up.

Lucy: I don't do blind dates.

Scud: Yeah, well it's not a blind date if you know what they look like, ok.

Lucy: Just tell her I'm not coming, ok. Say I came down with something.

Scud: Come on Lucy it's been two years. You have to get out there.

Lucy: I am out there. I went out with that drummer; the girl from the band that talked really loud.

Scud: No, you didn't go out with her. We all went out together. And then you lied and said you had food poisoning, and you went home early.

Lucy: Yeah well she talked really loud, like even when you were right next to her.

Scud: [under his breath] I know.

Scud: Look I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to drown yourself in your little schemes to destroy the world. But you need to get over it already, ok. You were dumped.

Lucy: I was not dumped.

Scud: Oh you were dumped hard. And that sucks. And you took your time off to go to Antarctica or whatever.

Lucy: Reykjavik. It's in Iceland.

Scud: But now it's time to get back in the game, Lucy. You've got a date tonight with a beautiful Russian assassin, and you're gonna show up. Lucy

Lucy: Fine. Ok, I'll go. I'll be there.

Scud: Just promise me you'll be open.

Lucy: Open to what?

Scud: Open to love.

Dominique: You're not as boring as I thought. But you're not as bright, either.

Scud: Knock em dead... but not really.

Ms. Petrie: This is not the Girl Scouts, this is espionage!

Bride: [''Sings''] Thank you everyone for coming. I'd like to dedicate this first song to the man who taught me everything I know. This song is for Jesus. Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone, but in my mind, I know they will still live and on, but how do you thank someone...

Allen: [''Puts hand on Sam's back''] Hi, how you doing?

Sam: Work is good. Just floating along.

Allen: Yeah, I get it.

Sam: [''To bartender''; [w:Whiskey and Coke|Jack and Coke] Can I get ]?

Allen: Hey, did you find those girls you were looking for?

Sam: Um, no, not yet.

Allen: Mmm-hmm, I'll keep an eye out. Three hot girls in a rabbit.

Sam: Yeah. Hey, have you noticed anything like, um, strange happening in this circle of friends...

Allen: Well, that's...

Sam: ...that's out of the ordinary?

Allen: That's kind of an everyday thing.

Sam: Right, yeah, but I just mean, I guess, mean, like, extra strange?

Allen: Last week, I hooked up with this chick.

Sam: [''Served by bartender''] Thank you.

Allen: She was fucked up out of her mind but she said some weird stuff about Jesus and the Brides.

Sam: Like what?

Allen: That there's a message in the music.

Sam: A secret message?

Allen: Mmm-hmm.

Sam: So, what did it say?

Allen: I have no clue, dude.

Sam: Who's the girl?

Allen: Just one of the many.

Sam: Right.

Allen: Crazy makes for good sex. You remember that.

Bride: Time has come, for closing books, and long last looks must end, and as I leave, I know that I am leaving...

Allen: What are you doing here?!

Sam: Hi Allen.

Allen: Hey.

Sam: Nice to see you. Is that a woman's blouse?

Allen: Guess so.

Sam: Okay.

Allen: What are you doing? You working?

Sam: Yeah, of course. How bout you?

Allen: Yeah, working, thinking about things a lot. Why we're swimming on rooftops when there's an ocean right over there?

Sam: Well, I don't have any answers.

Allen: Who does? Nobody does.

Sam: Hey, do you know a- a redhead and a blonde and a brunette that drive a white convertible rabbit?

Allen: No, but I'm looking forward to meeting them.

Sam: Well, I'm trying to see if I can track em down.

Allen: [''To Emerald''] I like that dress. Hi.

Emerald: [''Looks across party''] Hi. Thanks, Allen. Oh, my god. Take a look. Isn't that Millicent Sevence?

Allen: I think it is.

Emerald: What is she doing here? Isn't her Dad kidnapped or something?

Allen: Oh, that's not a very classy move.

Sam: Well, it's hard to know what a- what a person might do when they're in pain.

Bride: [[w:Hollywood Forever Cemetery|Hollywood Forever] I'm doing a secret solo show at ] if you want to come.

Allen: Yes, I'd love to.

Bride: [''Hands out cookies''] This is your ticket. Do not eat or break it. If it's missing anything, even a crumb, they won't let you in.

Allen: Thank you.

Emerald: [''Her phone chimes and she checks it''] Oh my god, looks like they found Millicent's dad.

Sam: Hmm, really?!

Emerald: His body was burned or something.

Allen: He's dead?

Emerald: Yeah

Sam: Does she know?

Allen: There's a message in the music..

Joshua Speed: (to his ex-associate) I ever see you here again, I'll have your balls for a coin purse!