Club Paradise - Humorous Observation About Runway Length
Barry Nye:
Isn't that the runway?
Pilot:
Geez, I hope not. If that runway was any shorter, it'd be a patio!
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Club Paradise - Pilot's Safety Announcement in Club Paradise
Pilot: [buzzer interrupts his announcement]
I'd like to thank you and ask that you remain seated, with your seatbelts securely fastened until the aircraft has come to a complete... Brake pressure!
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Follow That Bird - Panic Over Missing Bird and Police Arrival
Sam Sleaze: [looks behind the truck seeing the state trooper swinging his arm at him signaling him to pull over]
Hey, what's that noise? It's the cops!
Sid Sleaze: [points at the cage and Sam looks at it; sobs]
Sam! The bird's gone! The bird's gone! The bird's gone.
Sam Sleaze: [stops the truck]
Get a grip on yourself. will ya? Just try to relax. I'll take care of everything. Whatever you do, don't cry.
State Trooper: [to the kid]
Are these the two men?
Sam Sleaze:
What's seems to be the problem, officer? What's the charge?
State Trooper: [looks through his notebook]
What about counterfeiting, extortion, fraud, impersonating a dentist, stealing an apple from a kid?
Sam Sleaze:
Oh, that apple, officer, I can explain that. We was just holding it for a friend.
Sid Sleaze:
Yeah, for a friend.
State Trooper:
You can tell that to the judge.
Sid Sleaze: [sobbing]
The judge!
State Trooper: [annoyed]
Be a man.
Sid Sleaze:
I don't want to be a man. Sam!
Sam Sleaze:
Shut up, Sid! Shut up!
Sid Sleaze: [Sobbing]
Judge, Sam! Jail!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
1941 - Chaos and Confusion in Every Direction
Raoul Lipschitz: [reporting over the radio on a riot at the USO]
Ladies and gentlemen, every where I look... soldiers are fighting sailors, sailors are fighting Marines! Directly in front of me, I see a flying blond floozy! Everywhere I look... everywhere, pure pandemonium... pandemonium!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slackers - Identity Confusion in a Casual Introduction
Mr. Leonard:
Good afternoon, Mr. Dulles.
Dave:
Call me Jack.
Mr. Leonard:
But is says here your first name is Ethan?
Dave:
Nah, just call me Jack.
Mr. Leonard:
All right, Jack. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
Dave:
Hmmm, I'd have to say... slave to the freaky ass booty.
Mr. Leonard:
That's more than one word.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Back to the Future Part II - A Letter from the Past
Marty: [reads the letter; looks at the date in excitement and relief]
Dear Marty, if my calculations are correct, you will receive this letter immediately after you saw the DeLorean struck by lightning. First, let me assure you that I am alive and well. I've been living happily these past eight months in the year 1885. The lightning bolt that--" 1885! September 1885!
Western Union Man:
Whoa! Wait, kid! What's this all about?!
Marty:
He's alive! The Doc's alive! He's in the Old West, but he's alive!
Western Union Man:
Kid, you alright?! You need any help?!
Marty: [remembers]
There's only one man who can help me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.