Joe Urla Quotes

Lenny Now listen. I want you to know what we're talking about here, OK? This is not like TV, only better. This is life. It's a piece of somebody's life. It's pure, uncut, straight from the cerebral cortex. I mean, you're there. You're doing it. You're seeing it. You're hearing it. You're feeling it.

Keith What kind of things, exactly?

Lenny Exactly anything. Whatever you want. Whoever you want to be, OK? You want to go skiing without leaving your den — you can. But I'm assuming that a guy like you — if you want to go skiing you'd fly to Aspen. That's not what you're interested in here. It's about the stuff you can't have, right? The forbidden fruit, like running into a liquor store with a .357 magnum in your hand, feeling the adrenaline pumping through your veins. Or … you see the guy over there with the drop-dead Filipino girlfriend? Wouldn't you like to be that guy for twenty minutes — the right twenty minutes? Yeah. I can make it happen, and you won't even tarnish your wedding ring.

Keith That sounds good.

Lenny I can get you what you want. I can. I can get you anything. You just have to talk to me. You have to trust me, OK? Trust me. I'm your priest. I'm your shrink. I am your main connection to the switchboard of souls. I'm the magic man, the Santa Claus of the subconscious. You say it — you think it — you can have it. Do you want a girl? Do you want two girls? I mean, I don't know what your thing is, what you're curious about. Do you want a guy? Maybe you want to be a girl. Hey, think of that: be a girl. See what that feels like. I mean, maybe you want a nun to tie you up. It's all doable.