John C. McGinleyQuotes

Detective Charles: [[w:Colonoscopy|I got my colon scoped by Dr. Spencer] I turned 40 last week. Do you know what I did? ]. Do you know what he told me? He said "Detective Charles, you have one of the cleanest rectums I've ever seen." and do you know why? During my quiet time here at work I use a toothbrush that I have here in my desk to get to the really hard to find spots... just for a really good scrubbin'... you guys think you're so smart don't you?

Duff: No.

Detective Charles: The way you made those surveillance tapes just... disappear? You just... got rid of em some how...

John: What tapes?

Detective Charles: Will you do me a personal favor son?

John: Sure.

Detective Charles: [''Picks up a paper weight and slams it on his desk three times''; ''Throws paper weight''; ''Repeatedly''; ''Loud whistle''] Don't ever play ME... like a flute... OK? Because see, you two idiots got real lucky, I don't have enough to keep you here. But mark my words gentlemen... I mean... you're goin down. I mean... you're either goin down... or by God I'm gonna take you down. But either way... once you're down? YOU'LL STAY DOWN! YOU'LL STAY DOWN! YOU... WILL... STAY DOWN! Now get up and get out! Get up! get out! ...go get up and go! Don't touch my door!

Detective Charles: I urge you to drop it.

Stu: Barry and I worked together for over seven years. And whenever you threatened him over the air, man, he would stick it right back in your face. It was like his dick was flapping in the wind and he'd like to see if he could get an erection. The guy had a little dick, but he liked to flap it out there. Then they cut it off, so now he's dead. I don't know if you understand my analogy, but it's the clearest one I can make.

Johnny the Fox: [[w:Edmund Hillary|the Sir Edmund Hillary; [w:Mount Everest|the highest mountain] Congratulations you just became ] of assholes. You climbed ], Pilot. There's five big ones.

Johnny the Fox: A field... I need a field... A field in which to frolic!

Sgt. Sisk: Ladies and gentlemen, our suspect is not human. He is at home in the bush. Shoot to kill. Any questions?

Mob Member: Oh, yeah, yeah, I got a question there. When do we get to light our torches?

Sgt. Sisk: When it gets dark.

Mob Member: Ah, I see. Oh, hey, I got another question there. Suppose, hypothetically, you know, a guy had already lit his torch. I mean, it'd be cool if he could just keep it lit, huh?

Sgt. Sisk: Yes.

Mob Member: Oh, excellent. Excellent.

Sgt. Sisk: Now, if there are no more questions...

Mob Member: Oh, hey, hey, hey, I got another question. Hey, uh, if one part of the mob gets separated from another part of the mob, shouldn't there be a place that we can get together? Maybe a secret place the two mobs could reunite, and we'd be a big mob again.

Sgt. Sisk: Stay with the mob.

Mob Member: Stay with the mob. All right.

Sgt. Sisk: Right.

Mob Member: Hey, hey, hey, I got another question. Hey, uh, doesn't this guy deserve a fair trial?

Sgt. Sisk: You... back of the mob!

Mob Member: Back of the mob"? What? This is my spot! I came early!

Sgt. Sisk: Okay, out of the mob!

Mob Member: Ah, this mob blows.

Jack Rose: It's like my ex-wife. 21 different personalities and 7 of them hated me.

Jack Cap Rooney: Hey, they love you today, but a season is 16 games kid, and its how you live through the bad ones that make you a quarterback, not a punk.

Margaret Pagniacci: She will sell the team, and everything her father stood for is going to die.

Margaret Pagniacci: And what will you do after football, Tony, with no one to control?

Commissioner: [about Christina Pagniacci] I honestly believe that woman would eat her young.

David Blake: You're still alive?

MacLeod: Always!

Bob Slydell: What would ya say... ya do here?