John CandyQuotes

John Candy
Birthday
October 31st, 1950
From
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Actor

Follow That Bird - Panic Over Missing Bird and Police Arrival

Sam Sleaze: [looks behind the truck seeing the state trooper swinging his arm at him signaling him to pull over] Hey, what's that noise? It's the cops!
Sid Sleaze: [points at the cage and Sam looks at it; sobs] Sam! The bird's gone! The bird's gone! The bird's gone.
Sam Sleaze: [stops the truck] Get a grip on yourself. will ya? Just try to relax. I'll take care of everything. Whatever you do, don't cry.
State Trooper: [to the kid] Are these the two men?
Sam Sleaze: What's seems to be the problem, officer? What's the charge?
State Trooper: [looks through his notebook] What about counterfeiting, extortion, fraud, impersonating a dentist, stealing an apple from a kid?
Sam Sleaze: Oh, that apple, officer, I can explain that. We was just holding it for a friend.
Sid Sleaze: Yeah, for a friend.
State Trooper: You can tell that to the judge.
Sid Sleaze: [sobbing] The judge!
State Trooper: [annoyed] Be a man.
Sid Sleaze: I don't want to be a man. Sam!
Sam Sleaze: Shut up, Sid! Shut up!
Sid Sleaze: [Sobbing] Judge, Sam! Jail!

Uncle Buck - Buck's Humorous Self-Identification

Anita: I'm Anita Hoargarth.
Buck Russell: [Staring at it; she gives him a look] Buck Melanoma, Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart, not her wart. I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buckwart Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. "Melanoma Head's coming!" I'm s... uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle!

Uncle Buck - Defending the Innocence of Children

Buck Russell: [to Maizy's principal] I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I'm coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.

Uncle Buck - Uncle Buck's Bold and Provocative Statement

Buck Russell: [struggling to open the washing machine] Do I have to talk dirty to you? Come on! Open up for daddy! I'm gonna shove a load into you! Here we go! Come on, it's nice and easy. Aaah! Come on, here we go! Ah! Take that! Take that! Come on! You don't want the crowbar, do you? Come on! OPEN UP! UUGGHH! I'm gonna shove my load into you whether you like it or not!

Uncle Buck - Buck's Toasting Mishap

Buck Russell: [serving gigantic pancakes to Miles for his birthday] You should see the toast. I couldn't even get it through the door!

Uncle Buck - Morning Radio Announcement by Buck Russell

Buck Russell: [Imitating a radio DJ while making breakfast] It’s 7:02 in the a.m., you’re listening to “W-I-don’t-have-to-go-to-work-today” brought to you by Kobolowski Tires. For the best in tires see Chanice! Kobolowski.

Uncle Buck - Buck Reflects on the Kids' Growth

Buck Russell: [On the way to his brother's] Oh boy, those kids. I haven't seen those kids in a while. Tia's gotta be nine. Nine, maybe ten. Oh boy. And the two new ones. They're uh... Larry and... uh... Larry and, uh... Uh... Betsy. Betsy, uh... Jennifer. Jennifer. Larry and Jennifer. Nice kids.

Cool Runnings - Determination in the Face of Adversity

Sanka: Derice! You dead?
Derice: [removes his helmet] No, man, I'm not dead. We have to finish the race.
Irv: [pushing through spectators to reach the crash] Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
Grool: [shakes Derice's hand] Sehr gut, Jamaica. We'll see you in four years, ja?
Derice: Yeah, man.
Yul: [grabs Junior; kisses him on the forehead] Junior Bevil! That doesn't mean that I like you.
Junior: [they laugh and hug each other] We split.

Cool Runnings - Measuring Self-Worth Beyond Achievements

Irv: Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.
Derice: Hey, coach, how will I know if I'm enough?
Irv: When you cross that finish line, you'll know.

Cool Runnings - Confronting Prejudice in Competitive Sports

British Alliance Member: We must also be concerned about the potential for embarrassment.
Irv Blitzer: [British panelist goes quiet] Oh, forgive me. I didn't realize that four black guys in a bobsled could make you blush.
IAWS Officer: I think we've heard enough.
Irv: [pleads] Come on, Kurt, what you're doing is wrong and you know it! Now if this is about you and me, let's get it straight right now.
Irv: [[w:1972 Winter Olympics|16 years ago; points to Kurt; walks out] All right, ], I made the biggest mistake of my life - I cheated. I was stupid. I embarrassed myself, my family, my teammates, my country... and my coach. If it's revenge you want, take it. Go ahead, disqualify me, banish me! Do whatever you want, but do it to me! It was me who let you down, Kurt! It wasn't my guys! They've done everything you've asked of them! And they did it with all of you laughing in their face. Hell, it doesn't matter if they come in first or 50th. Those guys have earned the right to represent their country. They've earned the right to march into that stadium and wave their nation's flag. That's the single greatest honor an athlete can ever have. That's what the Olympics are about. Sixteen years ago, I forgot that. Don't you go and do the same. Sorry if I interrupted your meeting.

Cool Runnings - Pushing Limits: A Conversation on Excellence

Sanka: You don't understand. I am Sanka Coffie. I am the best pushcart driver in all of Jamaica! I must drive! Do you dig where I'm coming from?
Irv: Yeah, I dig where you're coming from.
Sanka: Good.
Irv: Now dig where I'm coming from. I'm coming from two gold medals. I'm coming from nine world records in both the two- and four-man events. I'm coming from ten years of intense competition with the best athletes in the world.
Sanka: That's a hell of a place to be coming from!