Memorable Quotes from John Early
4 quotesMailing List Confusion Among Friends
Harper
So, why haven't I gotten ] lately?
[[w:sexting|a dick pic]
Benji
Oh! Interesting! I tho- ah, I was under the impression that you wanted off that mailing list.
Harper
How else am I gonna go to sleep at night
Benji
I don't know, can your Dad phone fuck goes to sleep?
Harper
That's disgusting.
Benji
Build a little treehouse so your mom can't see you licking his asshole?
Harper
No. I've never had a treehouse.
Benji
I know. Because your Dad doesn't love you.
Ashley
Do you have, like, a different type or something?
Allie
I'm sorry. Is he your boyfriend?
John
No, he's not.
Ashley
Well, okay. You don't have to say it like that. Like it's not so black and white.
John
You're not dating Ben-... You're not dating Benji.
Ashley
That's your perspective.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgency in the Face of Discomfort
John
Ben, Harper?
Benji
What?
John
It's getting buggy.
Allie
Yeah, Harper. It's really time to go.
Harper
All right, let's go. Bye, you guys.
Ashley
Bye Harper. Be safe in Liberia.
Allie
Thank you!
John
Post!
Ashley
Post! Post on Facebook so we know.
Allie
Bye Ashley.
John
Portugal.
Allie
Portugal.
Ashley
She thinks you're, like, gonna fuck her again.
Allie
Thanks. It's Liberia.
Ashley
I knew that would happen.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Friendships and Unexpected Plans
Allie
Oh, my God. That was so intense. I'm still shaking.
Harper
You know, I'm not going to be there for you when you're in Liberia.
Allie
Wait, where you going? It's this way.
Harper
We have to stop by the park and see Benji.
Allie
Maybe we can just skip the molly. I don't think I can handle that right now.
Harper
Then don't do it.
Allie
Is his harem of bitches gonna be there?
Harper
Probably. They spend every second of their lives trying to fuck him.
Ashley
Benji, I feel like you've been on that same page for like... like four hours.
[''To Benji looking at phone'']
Grant
Are we distracting you, Benji?
Benji
I'm dissecting the sentences. I'm sort of figuring out the way it works.
Ashley
No, I get it. It's full broth, I get it. Do you want bug spray?
Grant
No, no, no, no. That- that literally smells like a cunt.
[''Grant laughs'']
Ashley
That's so funny. I was thinking about how I used to eat out women. And how at the time, it seemed like such a good idea, but...
John
How's this, Benji?
Ashley
... in retrospect, it's like, why did I ever actually do that?
John
Absolutely.
Harper
Sup.
Ashley
Oh my god, hi cutie! Hey.
Harper
Hi little baby boy!
Ashley
How are you, Harpy?
Harper
I'm good. How are you? Love your red socks. Are those to make your legs look longer?
Ashley
Yeah, they're just slimming, like your romper.
Harper
Oh, right.
Ashley
Your romper's slimming. It's funnny that you're here, I had a dream that you died.
Harper
Oh my god, how's your family? Are they still bankrupt or is that...
Ashley
Yeah
Benji
What?
Ashley
Don't... you're gonna like, go over talk to her privately. Hey, how are you, I'm Ashley.
[''Benji walks along with Harper''; ''To Allie'']
Allie
Hi, we've met.
Grant
I'm Grant.
Allie
Actually, we've all met.
John
When?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Aspirations and Life Choices
Grant
So, what's your story like, what are you into?
Allie
I um, you know, I... we... I took the day off. I uh...
Grant
But like what's your deal?
Allie
Um, I'm going to the Peace Corps really soon.
Ashley
Whoa, where?
Allie
Yeah.
Man
Where you going?
Allie
I am going to ].
[[w:Liberia|Liberia]
John
Mmm! No!
[''With highly effeminate gestures'']
Allie
No?
John
Mmm-mmm.
Allie
Like, I should...
John
Just do not.
Allie
Don't go?
John
Do not go.
Ashley
Like, maybe somewhere else.
Grant
My sister went to ].
[[w:Portugal|Portugal]
John
Go to Portugal.
Ashley
Yeah, Portugal!
Grant
It's stunning.
Allie
That sounds really awesome, but I actually, don't get to choose where I go. They assigned me.
John
So Port...
Allie
So Liberia. I'll have to go to Liberia, yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.