Memorable Quotes from John Larroquette
12 quotesA Command to Dance Amidst Doubt
David Bedford
Walter, I am not worth it...
Walter Davis
SHUT UP! DANCE!
David Bedford
What?
Walter Davis
I SAID DANCE, SCUMBAG!
Walter Davis
MOONWALK!
Walter Davis
I HATE THAT SHIT!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unconventional Terms of Intimacy
Nadia Gates
I don't like you. I certainly do not love you. Do we have to have sex?
[about David's marriage proposal]
David Bedford
Oh yes...
Nadia Gates
Okay but no kissing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misguided Blame in a Critical Moment
Lawrence Van Dough
Not me, you imbecile, them!
[''to Ferguson'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Southland Tales - Dialogue 12
Vaughn Smallhouse
You ever lost someone close to you, a loved one in a terrorist attack? Cause I have.
Cyndi Pinziki
This may come as a shock to you, Mr Smallhouse, but I have lost two people in Abilene. Two of my four ex-husbands on a fishing trip, which they took every year to bitch about me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Confusion in Southland Tales
Vaughn Smallhouse
Are you Deep Throat 2?
Krysta Now
Oh, I'm not in that movie.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over Driveway Parking Choices
Lawrence Van Dough
37-and-a-half miles of driveway, and you park in the 5 feet with a puddle!
[''Annoyed with his chauffeur after stepping out of his limo and into a puddle'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Leads to Unexpected Consequences
Capt. Stillman
Well, explain yourselves.
[after the men were arrested in a women's mud wrestling bar fight]
Oxberger
Well sir, we were going to this bingo parlor at the YMCA, well one thing led to another, and the instructions got all fouled up there and we ended up...
Capt. Stillman
Shut up.
Oxberger
Okay, Sir.
Capt. Stillman
You men are a disgrace. Maybe a few days in the stockade will help you change your rotten attitudes.
Cruiser
But, um, we're supposed to graduate tomorrow, sir.
Capt. Stillman
That's even better. Tomorrow, you'll be on parade in front of General Barnicke. And when he sees what total fuck-ups you are, I will recommend that your whole platoon repeat the entire course of basic training.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Military Training and Peer Pressure Dynamics
Sgt. Hulka
Move it! Do it! Why, boy. We got women can climb that thing better than you! Get up! Get on your feet!
[The soldier falls off]
Winger
He said he couldn't make it, why don’t you do it?
[Passing the rope to Hulka]
Sgt. Hulka
Take one step back, Winger. Move it!
[Begins climbing the rope]
Capt. Stillman
Alright, soldier. Let’s see how you fire that mortar.
Mortar Soldier
What co-ordinates, sir?
Capt. Stillman
Co-ordinates?
Mortar Soldier
Yes, sir, they determine where the mortar’s going to-
Capt. Stillman
Ah, soldier, the army has spent a lot of money teaching you how to the fire that thing. Now, set it, then, fire it.
Mortar Soldier
Sir, we don’t know where the shell’s going to-
Capt. Stillman
Soldier! The only way to learn anything is to do it! Now fire the weapon.
[hands him a mortar shell]
Sgt. Hulka
Alright. Any of ya suck-holes wanna come up here and knock me off?
Sgt. Hulka
Oh shit. INCOMING!
[seeing the shell headed for their position]
Oxberger
Sergeant does this mean we’re through for the day? Get him off me! Get him off!
[Hulka reaches up and grabs him by the throat as the other soldiers try on intervene]
Russell
Save your strength, Sarge!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dire Choice Between Life and Death
James T. Kirk
You, help us or die!
Maltz
I do not deserve to live.
Kirk
Fine. I'll kill you later.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dismissive Command from Lawrence Van Dough
Lawrence Van Dough
Hey, screw. Fetch.
[''Last words in the film'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Future Tense and Family References
David Bedford
I swear on my mother's grave.
Judge Harold Bedford
Your mother is playing the back 9 at Bellaire.
David Bedford
I was speaking in the future tense.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Military Training Under Questioning
Gen. Barnicke
Where the hell have you been, soldier?
Winger
Traaaaaaaining, sir!
Soldiers
Training, sir!
Gen. Barnicke
What kind of training, son?
Winger
Aaaaaaarmy training, sir!
Soldiers
Army training, sir!
Winger
Platoon, just like last night, only better! And...right shoulder, ho! Order, ho! Sidestep, right! Why did the chicken cross the road?
[leading them through drill]
Winger
Right!
Soldiers
Hey! Hey! Hut!
Winger
He stepped out of rank, got hit by a tank!
Soldiers
He ain't no chicken no more!
Winger, Soldiers
No!
Winger
Left flank, left! Queen Anne salute! Three...five...seven...port, ho! Razzle-dazzle!
Gen. Barnicke
Where's your drill sergeant, men?
Winger
Blown up, sir!
Soldiers
Blown up, sir!
Capt. Stillman
Yes, sir, these are Sgt. Hulka's men. He was injured during basic training.
Gen. Barnicke
I see. So am I to understand that you men completed your training on your own?
Winger
That's the fact, Jack!
Soldiers
That's the fact, Jack!
Gen. Barnicke
Captain?
Capt. Stillman
Yes, sir.
Gen. Barnicke
These are exactly the kind of go-getters I want working on my EM-50 project in Italy.
Capt. Stillman
But, sir, these men are--
Gen. Barnicke
Don't "but" me, Captain. I want them on the plane. Tonight!
Winger
Gentlemen, it's party time, Italian style!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.