John LithgowQuotes

Kurt: Did you touch the thermostat, did you turn it up?

Don: Well, of course not... did somebody fiddle with the thermostat?

Kurt: Yes, it's 85°!

Don: 85?

Kurt: 85!

Don: Do you have any idea how much even a few degrees can impact the gas bill?

Kurt: Of course, I do, it's unthinkable!

Brad: [walks in] Dad, Kurt, what's going on in here? Why is it so hot?

Don: Somebody fiddled with the thermostat!

Brad: What? Who would do that?

Kurt: [they hear a noise and look out in the hallway. Adrianna walks to the thermostat and starts to turn it up] What do you think you're doing?

Brad: It's roasting in here!

Adrianna: [matter-of-factly] I like to sleep with my window open.

Kurt: Hey, kid, are you allowed to touch the thermostat at your mom's house?

Adrianna: Pfft, duh!

Dusty: [joins the others in the hallway] What is going on?

Brad: Adrianna, she turned up the thermostat!

Kurt: Said she fiddles with the thermostat at your house any time she damn well pleases.

Don: [Dusty, speechless, just sighs] Dusty, is that true? Tell me that's not true! Oh, criminy, Dusty. You might as well give her your wallet and your 401k while you're at it!

Kurt: Brad, do you let the kids touch the thermostat at your house?

Brad: What, no! The thermostat is a sacred covenant! I can't believe we're even talking about this! This is *madness*!

Roberta Muldoon: [telling Garp he cannot go to his mother's feminist memorial] They're not going to allow any men. A man killed her! They're very upset!

Towzer: B.Z., this stuff can kill people!

B.Z.: Are you going soft on me?

B.Z.: When you've got a hit like we have, Patch, the people don't wanna wait a whole year, they're dying for a sequel! A sequel. That's it. We'll bring it out on March 25, and we'll call it... Christmas II!

Patch: Christmas II?

Patch: How will I tell everyone of my product?

B.Z.: I have found the best forum for this world is television.

Patch: Can we be seen on that?

B.Z.: With enough money a horse in a hoop skirt can get on one of those things.

Patch: I don't know much about money.

Patch: One minute will suffice.

B.Z.: Where will it be told?

Patch: Pardon?

B.Z.: Which country? Which channel?

Patch: All of them!

Patch: If you give extra kisses, you get bigger hugs".

B.Z.: Sorry?

Patch: [chuckles awkwardly] That's what Santa's wife's always saying. Anyway, that's all the advertising you'll ever need.

B.Z.: It better be. How many workers does this, uh, product require?

Patch: Just me.

B.Z.: What? No payroll?

Patch: Well, my needs are small: a bowl of stew, heavy on the dill, a cold place to sleep--

B.Z.: What will it cost?

Patch: [confused] Cost? Cost whom?

B.Z.: The people who...who buy the toy.

Patch: Well, nothing; we're going to give them away free.

Patch: [intrigued] Oh! Oh, that's fantastic! How do you make your face so red so fast?

B.Z.: FOR FREE?!?!?!

Patch: Well, that's how we do it at the North Pole--

B.Z: WELL, THAT'S NOT HOW WE DO IT HERE, IN A FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM!!!

Patch: Don't you believe in Santa Claus?

B.Z.: Why should I? He never brought me anything.

Patch: That's because you were probably a naughty boy.

B.Z.: Yes. I guess I was... no angel.

Mark Lambert: Why don't you go take a flying fuck?

Mark Lambert: When I was 18, my father used to call me "numbnuts" and "dumbass".

Mark Lambert: I'm not fucking with you.

Joe Huxley: [No reply, only radio static can be heard; Still no reply, only radio static; radio static] Hello? Hello, is anybody there? Is anybody there? This is Lawrence. This is Lawrence, Kansas, is anybody there? This is Joe Huxley, I'm broadcasting out of the science building at the University of Kansas, is anybody there? I...have an atmosphere report for whoever's listening. Dr. Oakes...do you read? Come in, Dr. Oakes, do you hear me?

Dr. Russell Oakes: Yes, Joe.

Joe Huxley: We're holding fast at just a hair under...uh...fifty rads per hour. I thought that it would have diminished by now. I...I guess that means we're picking up a lot of fallout from...Titan missile bases in Wichita and wherever else...out west...that's way the wind blows. Straight towards St. Louis.

Dr. Russell Oakes: Uh-huh. When will it be safe to move people to other buildings?

Joe Huxley: [hesitates, then shakes his head grimly] ...it'll never be safe.

Dr. Russell Oakes: [disbelieving] Come on, Joe.

Joe Huxley: ...wait till it gets down to under two rads an hour...if and when. You picked up anybody else on uh...on your end...?

Dr. Russell Oakes: Not a soul...

Joe Huxley: [returns to calling out for other listeners] This is Lawrence. This is Lawrence, Kansas, is anybody there? Anybody at all...?

Cynthia: What's going on?

Joe Huxley: [[w:LGM-30 Minuteman|Minuteman missiles] Those are ]!

Cynthia: Like a test, sort of. Like a warning?

Joe Huxley: [shakes his head, staring at the missiles in awe and disbelief; [Russia] They're on their way to ]. They take about 30 minutes to reach their targets.

Aldo: So do theirs, right?

Joe Huxley: [[Albert Einstein|Einstein; [World War III] You know what ] said about ]? He said he didn't know how they would fight World War III, but he knew how they would fight World War IV: with sticks and stones.

Joe Huxley: [speaking into his [[w:Shortwave|shortwave] ] radio] This is Lawrence. This is Lawrence, Kansas. Is there anybody there? Anybody at all?

George Henderson Sr.: See? You're not the only artist in the family. How's that's for an arthritic old shooter, huh?

George Henderson: What the hell did you do that for? It's my drawing! Why'd you change it?

George Henderson Sr.: Cool down, George, it's just a piece of cardboard.

George Henderson: Not to me. It means something to me! Can't you see that he means something to me?

George Henderson Sr.: What the hell are you talking about?

George Henderson: [storms out] The hell with it! I quit!

George Henderson Sr.: Over this? You can't quit! We're too busy! Hey, what the hell's the matter with you?

George Henderson: I'm working with assholes.

Earl Talbott Blake: [about Nick, who is drugged and tied up and Blake lie Nick on a bed and have sex with a beautiful blonde prostitute named Wanda; Blake calls Wanda on Nick's lied in bed for preparing have sex with him] Look at his face! What do you think, Wanda?

Wanda: [Wanda walks slow downstair while Blake put his money on the table for paying her and preparing an audio recording.Wanda picks Blake's money on the table and walks slowly nears Nick Styles's lying on bed for having sex with him; Blakes smiles] Yeah, he's real pretty . All this S&M shit's going to cost you an extra two hundred dollars. Good.

Nick Styles: Wait, stop...

Wanda: [takes her top off; then she whispered for her love] Ah, I love it when men beg. Talk to me. Ohhh, I love you.

Nick Styles: Will you set me free?

Wanda: [starts having sex with him] Whatever you want, Darling. Ahhh! See, your little mouth says no, but your little friend says yes.

Nick Styles: Jesus Christ.

Earl Talbott Blake: Almost.

Parole Board Chairman: Mr. Blake, what will you do if you get out of prison?

Earl Talbott Blake: [thinking] Well, I guess, Mr. Chairman, that first I'll pay a visit to your house.

Parole Board Chairman: To thank me, I suppose?

Earl Talbott Blake: No...to fuck your wife. And your daughter. Hell, maybe even your dog.

Parole Board Official: The parole board's ready, Blake. I hope you remembered to floss.

Earl Talbott Blake: I did! With your wife's pubic hair!

Earl Talbott Blake: I'm gonna do something far worse than kill you. I'm gonna let you live.

Earl Talbott Blake: [to Nick] I mean, there we were, both of us... at the beginning of our careers. Then all of a sudden, one of us... took off! Lit up the sky like a meteor. And why? Because he met the other.

Earl Talbott Blake: [After taking a female hostage] Pork, back off or else she's gonna need a paper bag over her head when her boyfriend fucks what's left of her!

Smith Keen: Didn't they also say they knew of no connection with the assassination?

Gray Grantham: Yes. But what else are they gonna say?

Dr. Walter Curnow: Look at it closely. Tell me I'm nuts. Are those cloud formations going toward the spot?

Dr. Floyd: You're not nuts.

Dr. Vasili Orlov: It looks like the thing is eating the planet.

Dr. Floyd: I think it is.

Dr. Walter Curnow: It's reproducing exactly like a virus!

Dr. Walter Curnow: You know what I miss? I miss green. Trees, and grass...I love green.

David Floyd: I'd love a hot dog.

Dr. Walter Curnow: The Astrodome. Good hot dogs.

Dr. Floyd: The Astrodome? You can't boil good hot dogs indoors...Yankee Stadium, September. Hot dogs have been boiling since the opening day in April. That's a hot dog.

Dr. Walter Curnow: Yellow mustard, or the darker one?

Dr. Floyd: Darker.

Dr. Floyd: Darker.

Dr. Walter Curnow: You really think we're gonna get out of this alive?

Dr. Floyd: We have a chance.

Dr. Walter Curnow: A man of few words. I like it.

Dr. Vasili Orlov: What was that all about?

Dr. Chandra: I've erased all of HAL's memory from the moment the trouble started.

Dr. Vasili Orlov: The 9000 series uses holographic memories, so chronological erasures would not work.

Dr. Chandra: I made a tapeworm.

Dr. Walter Curnow: You made a what?

Dr. Chandra: It's a program that's fed into a system that will hunt down and destroy any desired memories.

Dr. Floyd: Wait...do you know why HAL did what he did?

Dr. Chandra: Yes. It wasn't his fault.

Dr. Floyd: Whose fault was it?

Dr. Chandra: Yours.

Dr. Floyd: Mine?

Dr. Chandra: Yours. In going through HAL's memory banks, I discovered his original orders. You wrote those orders. Discovery's mission to Jupiter was already in the advanced planning stages when the first small Monolith was found on the Moon, and sent its signal towards Jupiter. By direct presidential order, the existence of that Monolith was kept secret.

Dr. Floyd: So?

Dr. Chandra: So, as the function of the command crew - Bowman and Poole - was to get Discovery to its destination, it was decided that they should not be informed. The investigative team was trained separately, and placed in hibernation before the voyage began. Since HAL was capable of operating Discovery without human assistance, it was decided that he should be programmed to complete the mission autonomously in the event the crew was incapacitated or killed. He was given full knowledge of the true objective...and instructed not to reveal anything to Bowman or Poole. He was instructed to lie.

Dr. Floyd: What are you talking about? I didn't authorize anyone to tell HAL about the Monolith!

Dr. Chandra: Directive is NSC 342/23, top secret, January 30, 2001.

Dr. Floyd: NSC... National Security Council, the White House.

Dr. Chandra: I don't care who it is. The situation was in conflict with the basic purpose of HAL's design: The accurate processing of information without distortion or concealment. He became trapped. The technical term is an H. Moebius loop, which can happen in advanced computers with autonomous goal-seeking programs.

Dr. Walter Curnow: The goddamn White House.

Dr. Floyd: I don't believe it.

Dr. Chandra: HAL was told to lie...by people who find it easy to lie. HAL doesn't know how, so he couldn't function. He became paranoid.

Dr. Floyd: Those sons of bitches. I didn't know. I didn't know!

Rev. Shaw Moore: I'm standing up here before you today with a very troubled heart. You see, my friends, I've always insisted on taking responsibility for your lives. But, I'm really like a first-time parent who makes mistakes and tries to learn from them. And like that parent I find myself at that moment when I have to decide. Do I hold on, or do I trust you to yourselves? Let go and hope that you've understood at least some of my lessons. If we don't start trusting our children how will they ever become trustworthy? I'm told that the senior class at the high school has got use of the warehouse in Bayson for the purpose of putting on a senior dance. Please join me to pray to the Lord... to guide them in their endeavors.

Rev. Shaw Moore: [first line] And he is testing us! Every, every day, our Lord is testing us. If he wasn't testing us, how would you account for the sorry state of our society? For the crimes that plague the big cities of this country? When he could sweep this pestilence from the face of the earth with one mighty gesture of his hand. If our Lord wasn't testing us, how would you account for the proliferation these days of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality? If our Lord wasn't testing us, why, he could take all these pornographic books and albums, and turn them into one big fiery cinder like that! But how would that make us stronger for him? One of these days, my Lord is gonna come to me and ask me for an explanation for the lives of each and every one of you. And what am I gonna tell him on that day? That I was busy? That I was tired? That I was bored?! No!! I can never let up! I welcome his test! I welcome this challenge from my Lord so that one day I can deliver all of you unto his hands, and when that day dawns, I don't wanna have to do any explaining! I don't want to be missing from your lives!

Tremblay: You are responsible for this, I believe.

Lawrence: : No, Eminence. You are.

Tremblay: This report is entirely mendacious. It would never have seen the light of day if you had not broken into the Holy Father's to remove it!

Lawrence: If the report is mendacious, then why did the Holy Father in his last official act as Pope ask you to resign?

Tremblay: He did no such thing. As Monsignor Morales, who was at the meeting...

Lawrence: And yet Archbishop Wozniak insists the Holy Father...

Tremblay: The Holy Father, may his name be numbered among the high priests, was a sick man toward the end of his life, as those of us who saw him regularly can attest.

Tremblay: You should be careful, Thomas. Your own ambition has not gone unnoticed. This might be seen as a tactic to blacken the name of a rival.

Lawrence: Well that's a despicable accusation.

Tremblay: [walks away] Is it? I wonder, if you really are so reluctant to have the chalice passed to you. I shall pretend this conversation never took place.

Lawrence: [agitated] But it HAS taken place!

Charles Rodman: It's okay. He didn't mean it.

Charles Rodman: Oh, he's a smart one, isn't he?