J

John Witherspoon Quotes

Actor

Memorable Quotes from John Witherspoon

12 quotes
Silas Green's Invitation to Connect
Silas Green Call me, baby, call Silas.
A Player's Boundaries in Relationships
Blind Man I'm a player, but I don't play that way!
Creative Names in a Lighthearted Exchange
Mr. Jones And I got a new one, Bobby! Winky Dinky Ho Cake.
Bobby Taylor Ho cake?
Mr. Jones Ho Cake! Hos got to eat too!
Winky Dinky Dog's Unique Identity
Mr. Jones Bobby, this ain't the Poot Butt League', man...ain't no Poot Butts around here. This is not your average hot dog stand You know what this is? This is Winky Dinky Dog. It sends chills up my spine every time I say it - Winky Dinky Dog! Bobby...say it with me...Winky Dinky Dog! WINKY DINKY DAAWWGG!
Family Dynamics and Bathroom Humor
Mrs. Jones Craig, you know what your problem is? You have no game. (winks at Dana, who laughs at him)
Craig Jones What you know about game? I got all the game.
Mrs. Jones Now your father, he got game.
Mr. Jones (coming out of the bathroom) Don't nobody go in that bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. (sniffs around) Someone open a window.
Craig Jones You call that game?
Exploring Culinary Possibilities of a Pig
Mr. Jackson I bet we've eaten everything on a pig from the rooter to the tooter.
A Brief Exchange Between Mr. Jones and Craig
Mr. Jones Craig.
Craig What?
Mr. Jones Come in here.
Craig Where you at?
Mr. Jones In the bathroom.
Craig Aw, man, I'll wait until you come out.
Mr. Jones Boy, bring your ass up in here. What you talkin bout, you wait til I come out? I smelled your shit for 22 years; now you can't smell mine for 5 minutes? Shut the door. (grunts; plopping sound) Now, your mama told me what happened to you yesterday.
Craig What?
Mr. Jones That was stupid. How the hell you gonna get fired on your day off?
Craig I don't know.
Mr. Jones Well, you need a trade. Look at that there, over there on the c-c-- On the counter there.
[grunts; another plopping sound; grunts; groans]
Craig I ain't trying to be no dog-catcher!
Mr. Jones Why not?
Craig I don't even like dogs.
Mr. Jones That's the beauty of it. I grab a dog, and I choke him, and I kick the shit out of him! All day long, my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang-bang-bang up his ass! That's my pleasure.
Craig No thanks.
Mr. Jones Well, I'll tell you one thing. Round here, you go to work, you go to school. First of the month, the rent is due. If you ain't got nothin on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catchin a dog. You gotta worry about a dog catchin your ass!
Discussion on Protection and Responsibility
Mr. Jones What's that for?
Craig Protection.
Mr. Jones Protection? Protection from who?
Craig Me and Smoke... I've got to walk Smokey down to his house.
Mr. Jones Aw, man. Your mother and I never would've moved to this neighborhood if we'd known you need a gun to walk down the damn street.
Craig You know how it is round here.
Mr. Jones Oh, no, son. That's not the way it is. You kids have been nothin but punks. Sissified. So quick to pick up a gun. Too scared to take an ass-whipping. This is what makes you a man. When I was growing up, this was all the protection we needed. You win some, you lose some. But you live. You live to fight another day. Now you think you're a man with that gun in your hand, don't you?
[raises his fists]
Craig I'm a man without it.
Mr. Jones Put the gun down.
Mr. Jones C'mon, put up your dukes.
Mr. Jones Now you're a man. Your uncle picked up a gun, too. He found out the hard way. 22 years old. You've got a choice. This is all you need, alright?
Reversing Relationship Dynamics: A Bold Approach
Mr. Jackson Now, Marcus. I hear a girl down at the office got you pussy-whipped.
Mr. Jackson You got to reverse it. Don't be pussy-whipped. Whip that, pussy. Like this here, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
A Confusing Encounter with a Mysterious Creature
Det. Justice So you say you saw... what?
Silas Green It was a wolf godammit! A big, black, stinking-ass wolf. The motherfucker jumped off the boat and ran over there. And when it got there the son of a bitch turned into a man. He did the flippflopp shit on me... Just like whore I used to know in Detroit back in 62. I'd go over her house on saturday night... she loved me, man. Bitch made me chicken and some pretzels! I'd come through the door, she's a man! Flippfloppin and shit. You ever seen a motherfucker flippflopp on you and shit like that? In your face trying to flippflopp and shit!
Det. Justice So the wolf you saw looked something like that?
Silas Green The wolf? Hell no! That's a chihuahua compared to the motherfucker come at me! Ya ever seen a wolf, man?
Det. Justice Yes?
Silas Green To the 25th power!
Questioning Control and Navigation
Silas Green Who's driving this vessel? Stevie fucking Wonder?
Desperate Pleas Amidst Conflicting Conversations
Maximillian Rita, my sweet, you must feed, or you're going to die.
Rita I want to die.
[defiant]
Maximillian I won't let you. I'll find someone for you.
Silas Green Hey, hey, Hey! The Knicks won! Julius, goddamn it, you owe me $50. Good God, he's a bad motherfucker. Julius! Where's my $50, Julius... You ain't Julius. You that cop's girl. What wrong, baby? You look sick. Had too much pork today, huh? Bad pig's feet, ate the bay leaf? Want some cod-liver oil, baby? Tell me what you need.
[enters the apartment looking for Julius; he then notices the new decor created by Max's casting spells; notices Rita, weak and hungry, resting]
Maximillian What she needs is some fresh blood.
[sneaks up behind Silas]
Silas Green Blood? Blood? I'll go to the Red Cross, get all you need.
Maximillian Shut up!
Silas Green Ow! Hey, brother, what the idea?
Maximillian The idea is dinner.
Silas Green Dinner? I don't see no dinner. What are we having?
Maximillian You!
Silas Green ME? Don't do it, baby!
Maximillian Do it, Rita. You don't have to resist. Do it!
Silas Green Don't do it, baby. I got old, tired Grandpa blood! I got high blood pressure, baby! High as the MOTHERFUCKIN MOON! You suck my blood. I've gotta take three pills a DAY!
Det. Justice Rita! NO!
[yells]
Silas Green Police! Police!
[relieved]