John WitherspoonQuotes

Maximillian: Rita, my sweet, you must feed, or you're going to die.

Rita: [defiant] I want to die.

Maximillian: I won't let you. I'll find someone for you.

Silas Green: [enters the apartment looking for Julius; he then notices the new decor created by Max's casting spells; notices Rita, weak and hungry, resting] Hey, hey, Hey! The Knicks won! Julius, goddamn it, you owe me $50. Good God, he's a bad motherfucker. Julius! Where's my $50, Julius... You ain't Julius. You that cop's girl. What wrong, baby? You look sick. Had too much pork today, huh? Bad pig's feet, ate the bay leaf? Want some cod-liver oil, baby? Tell me what you need.

Maximillian: [sneaks up behind Silas] What she needs is some fresh blood.

Silas Green: Blood? Blood? I'll go to the Red Cross, get all you need.

Maximillian: Shut up!

Silas Green: Ow! Hey, brother, what the idea?

Maximillian: The idea is dinner.

Silas Green: Dinner? I don't see no dinner. What are we having?

Maximillian: You!

Silas Green: ME? Don't do it, baby!

Maximillian: Do it, Rita. You don't have to resist. Do it!

Silas Green: Don't do it, baby. I got old, tired Grandpa blood! I got high blood pressure, baby! High as the MOTHERFUCKIN MOON! You suck my blood. I've gotta take three pills a DAY!

Det. Justice: [yells] Rita! NO!

Silas Green: [relieved] Police! Police!

Det. Justice: So you say you saw... what?

Silas Green: It was a wolf godammit! A big, black, stinking-ass wolf. The motherfucker jumped off the boat and ran over there. And when it got there the son of a bitch turned into a man. He did the flippflopp shit on me... Just like whore I used to know in Detroit back in 62. I'd go over her house on saturday night... she loved me, man. Bitch made me chicken and some pretzels! I'd come through the door, she's a man! Flippfloppin and shit. You ever seen a motherfucker flippflopp on you and shit like that? In your face trying to flippflopp and shit!

Det. Justice: So the wolf you saw looked something like that?

Silas Green: The wolf? Hell no! That's a chihuahua compared to the motherfucker come at me! Ya ever seen a wolf, man?

Det. Justice: Yes?

Silas Green: To the 25th power!

Silas Green: Who's driving this vessel? Stevie fucking Wonder?

Silas Green: Call me, baby, call Silas.

Blind Man: I'm a player, but I don't play that way!

Mr. Jones: And I got a new one, Bobby! Winky Dinky Ho Cake.

Bobby Taylor: Ho cake?

Mr. Jones: Ho Cake! Hos got to eat too!

Mr. Jones: Bobby, this ain't the Poot Butt League', man...ain't no Poot Butts around here. This is not your average hot dog stand You know what this is? This is Winky Dinky Dog. It sends chills up my spine every time I say it - Winky Dinky Dog! Bobby...say it with me...Winky Dinky Dog! WINKY DINKY DAAWWGG!

Mr. Jackson: I bet we've eaten everything on a pig from the rooter to the tooter.

Mr. Jackson: Now, Marcus. I hear a girl down at the office got you pussy-whipped.

Mr. Jackson: You got to reverse it. Don't be pussy-whipped. Whip that, pussy. Like this here, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Mr. Jones: What's that for?

Craig: Protection.

Mr. Jones: Protection? Protection from who?

Craig: Me and Smoke... I've got to walk Smokey down to his house.

Mr. Jones: Aw, man. Your mother and I never would've moved to this neighborhood if we'd known you need a gun to walk down the damn street.

Craig: You know how it is round here.

Mr. Jones: [raises his fists] Oh, no, son. That's not the way it is. You kids have been nothin but punks. Sissified. So quick to pick up a gun. Too scared to take an ass-whipping. This is what makes you a man. When I was growing up, this was all the protection we needed. You win some, you lose some. But you live. You live to fight another day. Now you think you're a man with that gun in your hand, don't you?

Craig: I'm a man without it.

Mr. Jones: Put the gun down.

Mr. Jones: C'mon, put up your dukes.

Mr. Jones: Now you're a man. Your uncle picked up a gun, too. He found out the hard way. 22 years old. You've got a choice. This is all you need, alright?

Mr. Jones: Craig.

Craig: What?

Mr. Jones: Come in here.

Craig: Where you at?

Mr. Jones: In the bathroom.

Craig: Aw, man, I'll wait until you come out.

Mr. Jones: Boy, bring your ass up in here. What you talkin bout, you wait til I come out? I smelled your shit for 22 years; now you can't smell mine for 5 minutes? Shut the door. (grunts; plopping sound) Now, your mama told me what happened to you yesterday.

Craig: What?

Mr. Jones: That was stupid. How the hell you gonna get fired on your day off?

Craig: I don't know.

Mr. Jones: [grunts; another plopping sound; grunts; groans] Well, you need a trade. Look at that there, over there on the c-c-- On the counter there.

Craig: I ain't trying to be no dog-catcher!

Mr. Jones: Why not?

Craig: I don't even like dogs.

Mr. Jones: That's the beauty of it. I grab a dog, and I choke him, and I kick the shit out of him! All day long, my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang-bang-bang up his ass! That's my pleasure.

Craig: No thanks.

Mr. Jones: Well, I'll tell you one thing. Round here, you go to work, you go to school. First of the month, the rent is due. If you ain't got nothin on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catchin a dog. You gotta worry about a dog catchin your ass!

Mrs. Jones: Craig, you know what your problem is? You have no game. (winks at Dana, who laughs at him)

Craig Jones: What you know about game? I got all the game.

Mrs. Jones: Now your father, he got game.

Mr. Jones: (coming out of the bathroom) Don't nobody go in that bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. (sniffs around) Someone open a window.

Craig Jones: You call that game?