Jon Favreau Quotes

Mike Peters I'll have a scotch on the rocks, please. Any scotch will do, as long as it's not a blend, of course. Single malt, Glen Livet, Glen Galley, perhaps, any Glen.

Gutter Just one hit, then I gotta go.

Gutter Mersh, you gotta lay off the pipe man. Clinton is playing right here!

D-Bob Remember Elza? She's my girl now. We're engaged. Ain't that goddamn something?

Elza Dennis!

D-Bob Oh yeah, I ain't allowed to say "goddamn" no more.

Gutter I... I didn't exhale?

Max Yes, for expenses and such. Now, you'll be contacted on your pager as to where you should go. You each have been given an extra battery, so there is absolutely no excuse as to why a page would not be immediately returned. Am I making myself abundantly clear?

Bobby Yeah.

Ricky Yeah.

Max You will not carry any other pagers with you. You will not carry anything, for that matter, that I have not just given you.

Ricky Keys.

Max What?

Ricky What about my keys?

Max You can carry your keys. You will not mention my name or imply that you are in my employ. You will not speak to anyone while you are working. When you are not working, you are considered to be on call and available twenty four hours a day. This means you will not get drunk or do anything that will prevent you from operating in a professional manner. There is already a number in your pager's memory. It is a car service. When they ask you what account, you will respond: Cardiff Giant. They will pick you up and take you anywhere you need to go. In other words, there is no reason why you should not reach any destination that you will be called upon to reach within fifteen minutes. Do you see a pattern forming?

Ricky Yes.

Bobby Yes.

Max What is it?

Bobby You want...

Max Not you. I want Ricky to answer.

Ricky I get it.

Max Tell me.

Ricky Don't worry. I get it.

Max So tell me how it is.

Ricky You want... Why are you picking on?

Max Because you lost my fucking carpet cleaning van and I don't like you. You cocksucker!

Ron Roth So that's cucumber cucumber and cucumber, they forgot to put the sandwich in my sandwich.

Ricky We're gonna take a break from you, Jimmy.

Bobby Could you not do that?

Ricky Do what?

Bobby I don't want him to think that you're blowing me back here.

Ron Roth I really don't care who wins, I represent both players It's like asking which of my kids do I love more. Which of my kids do I love more? My daughter speak to you later.

Ricky Here's scenario B for you Bob, see how you feel about this one. Now I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I think I'm starting to get under Ruiz's skin as well, OK? It all started with the whole Red Dragon, or the Welsh guy, whatever, they can play it down all they want but you know 200 grand's a lot of fucking money! It's a fucking lot of money! OK? 200 grand is definitely a lot of fucking money! And now I've got Ruiz calling me fucking Fruit-Pie the fucking magician! Tellin me that I can't fucking call my main man Max, who fucking sent me out on the fucking operation? And what about the Welsh guy? He's fucking scat all over, they fucking disappear and talk! And you haven't noticed this either but when he's not fucking looking at me or you're fucking doing whatever, I've got fucking Jimmy in the mirror with his shit too. It's fucking coming at me from here, I don't know where it is! It might be coming this way, it might be coming that way, but the fucking shit's coming and I'm not gonna be late for the fucking dance man, I'm not gonna be fucking late for the dance on this one.

Bobby You're not getting a gun.

Ricky We need guns.

Bobby We don't need guns.

Ricky I'm telling you man, I'm pretty sure we need guns.

Bobby I listened to them and they specifically said we don't need guns.

Ricky That's all the more reason why you do need a gun.

Bobby You couldn't even get a gun.

Ricky You wanna bet, you wanna bet me if I could get a gun?

Bobby You couldn't get a hand job from the bridge and tunnel posse.

Ricky That's because that fuckin girl had issues with the bathtub and the other thing. Now float me a hundred bucks.

Bobby For what?

Ricky You wanna see how fast I can get a gun?

Bobby What happened to your money?

Ricky I have it, I have some stuff left.

Bobby How much?

Ricky I've got like 80.

Bobby $80!

Ricky 80 plus five, I've got five in the room, $85.

Bobby $85, what happened to the 1500?

Ricky Well you could have picked up a fuckin tab once in a while!

Bobby I picked up half the fuckin tab!

Ricky I don't know why we don't get a drink, sittin inside this place.

Bobby Chloe wanted to come here.

Ricky She doesn't know where the hell she is, Bob. She'd have more fun if we were at Bordner's. She could play the trivia game that she likes or the little racing game thing she does .

Bobby She's a little girl, little girls don't like going to bars.

Ricky We had fun. We went to bars when we were kids. Met all the different people. Right? Remember Slimmy?

Salesperson Excuse me sir, there's no smoking in here.

Ricky Why, you serving food?

Salesperson No, it's store policy. And you can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic.

Ricky You believe this shit. I can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic. Well, why don't you bring me a ashtray then. Can I color me that, a ceramic ashtray?

Ron Roth Call ], call ], call ].