Jon Hamm Quotes

Coach Carr Welcome to “Health and Human Sexuality.” Now, this fall we’ll be getting into the state-mandated unit on Abstinence. Of course then followed by, in the spring, Condoms and Choking. Where do you think you’re going there, hotshot?

Cady I need to urinate.

Coach Carr No way, José.

Cady Uh, it’s Cady.

Coach Carr Well, Cady, first thing you need to do is ask permission. But the second thing you’ll need is this lavatory pass that is shaped like ]. Get it?

Cady Um... May I please have the lavatory pass?

Coach Carr No, you may not. You may go sit back down. You can go at lunch. Nice try, kiddo. All right, let’s jump into this! This won’t be awkward at all, I swear to God.

Annie I'm glad you called.

Ted I'm so glad you were free.

Annie I love your eyes.

Ted Cup my balls.

Buddy Do me a favor. Next time Doc calls... Don't pick up.

Regina Jackson History has lessons to teach us about first encounters between civilizations. As a rule the less advanced civilization is either exterminated or enslaved. I'm thinking of Pizarro and the Incans, Columbus and the Native Americans, and the list goes on. Unfortunately in this case, the less advanced civilization is us.

Michael Granier This is the representative of an extra-terrestrial civilization. This is the most important discovery in the history of Mankind!

Regina Jackson It may well be the last discovery in the history of Mankind.

Ted This is so awkward. I really want you to leave, but I don't know how to say it without sounding like a dick.

Buddy Song is over, Baby. But I'm afraid you still have to face the music.