Mama's Boy - Love Given is Love Retained
Seymour Warburton:
If you're looking for some wise, pithy advice that only an old man with a lifetime of experience can give you, you're barking up the wrong tree. What I can tell you is the love we give away is the only love we can keep.
Jeffrey Mannus:
That's actually wise and pithy, Seymour.
Seymour Warburton: [[Deepak Chopra]
I got it off an old ] calendar. I think it was September. And I'm-
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Mama's Boy - Floor Sleeping Dilemma Between Friends
Jeffrey Mannus:
Are you sure you're gonna be okay sleeping on the floor?
Seymour Warburton:
I was thinking you would sleep on the floor.
Jeffrey Mannus: [[w:spina bifida|spina bifida]
I've got ].
Seymour Warburton: [[w:osteoporosis|osteoporosis]
I have ].
Jeffrey Mannus:
Well, I'm allergic to dust.
Seymour Warburton:
I'm ninety-one fuckin years old.
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The Benchwarmers - K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider Appears in Scene
Clark:
This car is so radical. Looks just like K.I.T.T. from the show Knight Rider.
Mel: [Mel activates the car with his watch]
It is K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. Watch this.
K.I.T.T:
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm K.I.T.T.
Richie: [to Mel]
Who are you?
Mel:
Oh, I'm just once of those nerds who grew up...to make billions.
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The Benchwarmers - Childhood Bullying and Humorous Mishaps
Gus: [to Nelson]
Hey. Are you the kid who got farted on earlier?
Mel:
Yes. This is my son Nelson. He's become quite the fart magnet for the neighborhood bullies.
Nelson:
I also get a healthy smear of animal turds twice daily.
Clark:
When I was your age, Fairy Jerry dumped a bucket of dog poop on me.
Nelson:
His son just did that to me last week!
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The Benchwarmers - Commitment to Integrity in Friendship
Richie:
Clark, we don't play baseball.
Clark:
I told Gus we'd be there, Richie. And if we don't go, that makes me a liar. And that's not what I'm about. Not now, NOT EVER!
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The Benchwarmers - Conversations About Relationships and Personal Lives
Mel:
Now, Richie, do you have any kids?
Richie:
Never had a date.
Mel:
Clark?
Clark:
Never spoke to a girl.
Mel: [Pauses a bit, realizing that what Clark said was weird]
Gu... Gus?
Gus:
Uh, my wife and I are kind of working on it.
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The Benchwarmers - Humorous Exchange About Makers and Poop
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The Benchwarmers - Misunderstanding of Roles Among Friends
Kyle:
I'm gonna call the cops!
Clark:
We are the cops! We're Navy Seals!
Kyle:
Navy Seals aren't cops!
Troy:
Aren't you our paperboy?
Clark:
I'm undercover.
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The Benchwarmers - A Playful Exchange Among Friends
Brad:
Clark? Richie? I hardly recognize you two clowns without the underwear on your head!
Richie:
Brad, wow, you have really not slimmed down.
Brad:
Oh, eat me! So I hear from Jerry that you tools think your atheletes now?
Richie:
That's funny. I didn't know athlete had three sylables. Ath-a-lete! Thats ama-z-zing!
Brad:
You think your hot shit cause you know words!
Clark:
Hey, Brad, why don't you be a stud and point us toward the register? Or register-er!
Brad:
My team practices today at 5! Swing by if you she-men want to lose!
Richie:
You can't handle the truth!
Brad:
Bring it!
Clark:
SUCK IT!
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The Benchwarmers - Miscommunication Among Friends
Clark:
Gus!
Richie:
Gus!
Clark:
He can't hear us.
Richie: [Falls on the ground]
Ohh! Ah...
Gus: [Finally hearing them; Walks over to them]
Hey fellas. You okay, Richie?
Richie: [Standing up]
Yeah, I'm fine, just... purple nuts.
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The Benchwarmers - Tensions Rise in a Playful Exchange
Number 7 Robot:
Ha-ha-ha! I heard you stunk!
Clark:
Shut up, Number 7!
Number 7 Robot:
You shut up!
Clark:
I'll kill you!
Number 7 Robot:
Oh shit!
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The Benchwarmers - Misunderstanding Steroids and Their Effects
Clark:
What are steroids? "Somtehing that makes your pee pee small"..... There must be steroids in macaroni!
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The Benchwarmers - Questioning the spelling of "bad ass
Clark:
Is bad ass one or two words?
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The Benchwarmers - Excitement Over Dinner Plans
Clark:
Hold on my moms texting me...No Way! We're having macaroni tonight that means garlic bread.. Yes!!
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The Benchwarmers - A Character's Affection for Beef Stew
Clark:
I love beef stew!
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Just Like Heaven - Darryl's Perspective on Righteousness
Darryl: [multiple times]
Righteous.
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Just Like Heaven - Observing an Embarrassing Aura
Darryl:
Whoa, major red aura! Somebody's embarrassed.
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Just Like Heaven - Respect for the Dead
Darryl:
A word to the wise, girl. Show some respect for the dead.
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Just Like Heaven - Desperate Thirst for a Refreshing Drink
Darryl:
Do you have a diet anything, I'm like, 99.9% parched, here. I could really use a cola.
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Just Like Heaven - Confirmation of Life in Unusual Circumstances
Darryl:
I agree with her, dude. She's not dead.
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Just Like Heaven - Confronting Negative Energy and Its Effects
Darryl:
Can't you feel that, man? There's, like, this cancer-causing ray of spirit hate searing right towards your body.
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Just Like Heaven - Skepticism Towards UFOlogy as a Science
Darryl:
UFOlogy. It's not even a real science.
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Napoleon Dynamite - Deb's Milk
Napoleon Dynamite:
[referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.