Jon Stewart Quotes

Trent Have dinner with me.

Meredith: Look, I'm not going to sue you or anything.

Trent: I'm not asking as a pre-emptive strike against ], I'm asking--

Meredith: I'll have dinner with you.

Trent: What changed your mind?

Meredeith Anyone who can say pre-emptive strike against litigation with a straight face deserves a dinner companion.

Nasty Nate So the next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail...FRUIT!

Sir-Smoke-Alot I want to talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden! Cause it's hard being black and gifted. Sometimes I just wanna throw it all down and get lifted!

Sir-Smoke-Alot I'm impotent, man! Get away from me, bitch!

Kenny Ya hear that? I'm somebody's bitch!

Brian Get some...sour cream and onion chips, with some dip, man. Some beef jerkey, some peanut butter. Get some Hagen-Dagz ice-cream bars. A whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, pink popcorn. GRAHAM CRACKERS!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows. Little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and we'll make some s'mores man. Celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries, pizzas, we need two big pizzas, man, everything on em, water, a whole lotta water and.......Funyuns.

Brian Don't worry. Don't worry. l'm not gonna do what everyone thinks l'm gonna do: Flip out, man! All l wanna know is: who's comin with me? Who's comin', man? Who's comin with me?

Enhancement Smoker You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some weird shit in there, man. There's a dude sittin in the bushes, man, does he have a gun? I dunno, man, I dunno! Wha, wha? RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO. It's just some weird shit, man!

Sir-Smoke-Alot Doctor says I need a back-iotomy!

Meredith This is gonna sound really weird.

Trent You're worried about Barley, and you want to go back to your place.

Meredeith: Oh my G-d, this is way fucking spooky.