Jonny Brugh Quotes

Deacon You can't go to the Ball as ]. He's a Vampire Hunter.

Viago Yeah, but Vampires love ].

Deacon The neighbours can see you flying around the house. Do you want to draw attention to this house, hmm?

Nick You've got a whole documentary group following you around.

Deacon I'm doing an erotic dance for my friends. You ruined it. I was in the zone. My friends were loving it.

Deacon I don't think Nick should have become a vampire. He's such a dick.

Deacon One message received. "Ther iz a crucifx behind you".

Nick Twilight!

Deacon Shut up, Nick! You're not Twilight.

Deacon Let us do the Procession of Shame now.

Viago, Deacon, Vladislav Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Bad Vampire.

Deacon When you become a vampire, you become very…sexy.

Deacon I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.

Vladislav I think of it like this. If you're going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.

Deacon This is what happens when you're a vampire. You have to watch everyone die. Your mother and father. All your friends. Sometimes brutal, like slipping and falling onto a giant spike. Or falling asleep in an autumn pile of leaves and having some of them block your windpipe. Or making the simple mistake of fashioning a mask out of crackers and being attacked by ducks, geese, swans. Or even dying of old age, but even old age is brutal. Watching your friends grow old. They can't piss, and they say stupid things, and their brains go, and they can't remember anything. And then one day they can't even remember who you are, and you wish they were dead, and then they do die.

Vladislav The point is, Deacon, you have not done the dishes for 5 years!

Viago Vladislav is right, it's unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over this bench like there.

Vladislav I'm so embarrassed when people come over here.

Deacon Why does it matter? You bring them over, you kill them! Vampires don't do dishes!