Jonny Lee MillerQuotes

Lee: Life has a malicious way of dealing with great potential.

Mark: I didn't know.

Simon: Okay, okay. I might've heard something. I'm sorry I didn't mention it.

Mark: You might've heard something?

Simon: All right, fuck it. I knew. I knew, and I could have served you up to him on a plate any time I wanted to.

Mark: I bet you were fucking looking forward to it, too, weren't you?

Simon: Yeah, yeah, I was. I was looking forward to it.

Mark: I ought to fucking kill you.

Mark: Fuck is this?

Doyle: It's Mark and Simon, right? Do you know who I am? Good. So you know that I own a couple of saunas in the north of Edinburgh. In fact, you boys should know, I own all the saunas in Edinburgh. So your venture was never gonna happen, was it? I couldn't have you on my doorstep in competition for my members of staff, for my clientele. It was never gonna happen, Simon, was it?

Simons: No, Mr. Doyle.

Doyle: [''Scene of Doyle is showing their picture on his phone to sauna girls who nod in recognition''] Right answer. I wouldn't let it happen. And it's not gonna happen, right? Thankfully for you two, I've done some due diligence on you, and what I hear is you're a couple of losers. Two absolute losers. How's that sound, Simon?

Simon: Yeah, yeah, that's probably right enough.

Doyle: Aye. "Probably right enough." Right answer. Take your clothes off. All of them. Fuck's sake.

Mark: Probably right enough, Mr. Doyle.

Simon: If you groveled a bit more, we might not be going home in the buff.

Mark: At least I have my dignity.

Simon: Is that what you're calling it?

Mark: Are you ready?

Simon: No.

Mark: Come on.

Mark: [[w:Leith|Leith] This is the renovation and conversion of an iconic ] building. We see it very much as being an artisanal bed-and-breakfast experience. A destination in its own right. Artworks by local artists on the walls. Locally sourced fresh food. Outreach programs to inspire children in school to think outside the box. To inspire in them a belief that... Yes, they can. There was a time when this port served thousands of ships around the globe. Now it can rise again. And we believe our business will occupy a central role, both physically and emotionally, at the heart of this new wave of regeneration in Leith.

Simon: Leith 2.1.

Mark: Exactly.

Murphy: [[w:Western Union|Western Union; [w:Heroin|skag] We used to steal all this stuff. Fancy wallpaper. Sell on to the middle classes and that. Me and Mark used to steal all kinds of stuff, actually. Till we got caught. He got off. I got six months. Still, you find out what you're good at inside. Signatures... That's what I found out. Anyone's. If I seen it once, I can do it. So, when I got out, "Bye-bye, shoplifting. Hello, checkbook. Hello, check card. Up to ]. Signature, cash in hand. Up to Swanney's, pay off my debts, buy some ]. I was a portable fucking goldmine.

Veronika: So, what happened?

Murphy: Chip and PIN, debit cards, e-banking. Billionaires moving money at the touch of a button. There's no room for an honest artisan like me anymore.

Veronika: So, what did you do?

Murphy: [[w:panhandling|Back on the pavement. Seven days a week] ].

Veronika: I like your stories. I think you should write them down.

Murphy: You think?

Veronika: Yeah. Just write them the way you say them. They're funny. I would like to read them. Mark and Simon can help.

Murphy: [Voiceover reading from page] Tommy looks well. It's terrifying. He's gonna die. Sometime between the next few weeks and the next 15 years, Tommy will be no more. Chances are that I'll be exactly the same. Difference is we know this with Tommy. Tommy cannot get out.

Mark: [Reading aloud; [w:West Granton|West Granton] He cannot afford to heat his home, put himself in a bubble, live in the warm, eat good fresh food, keep his mind stimulate with new challenges. He will only live five or 10 or 15 years before he is crushed. Tommy will not survive winter in ].

Simon: Well, I'm trying hard, Mark, but I'm not feeling anything. We were young. Bad things happened. It's over. Can we go home now?

Mark: Two hours to the next train.

Simon: Oh, for fuck's sake.

Mark: Look, we're here as an act of memorial.

Simon: Nostalgia. That's why you're here. You're a tourist in your own youth. Just cause you had a near-death experience, and now you're feeling all fuzzy and warm. What other moments will you be revisiting? Here's a good one. How about the time you sold Tommy his very first hit, leading him on to heroin addiction, HIV infection, and ultimately his death at the age of... What was it, 22, 23?

Mark: Twenty-three.

Simon: Twenty-three. How innocent was that?

Mark: Aye, that's mine. How's yours?

Simon: Don't know what you're talking about.

Mark: [[w:Infant mortality|But she never got that far, did she? Never got to lead her life] She'd be a woman by now. Maybe kids of her own. ]. Because her father, someone who should have been looking after her, protecting his own infant, was too busy filling his own veins with heroin to check that she was breathing properly. How do you keep a lid on that one?

Mark: Well, that's that, then. Here we go.

Mark: Fuck's sake.

Franco: All right, doll.

Girl: Thanks.

Franco: Looking good, baby.

Girl: Not bad yourself, daddy-o.

Franco: Why, bring it over here.

Girl: Really?

Girl: I'm not wearing any knickers.

Franco: For fuck's sake. Well, tell you what... Just away for a piss. Back in a moment. We'll see what's happening, okay?

Girl: All right, then.

Franco: Aye.

Simon: Hello, Franco.

Franco: Simon.

Simon: But you're not...

Franco: I'm out.

Simon: Out"?

Franco: Aye. Fucking shut up.

Simon: Yeah, sorry if I seemed a little shocked to see you, Frank. It's just... Well, I was gonna... I was gonna deal with this myself and then give you the good news, but... You're not gonna believe this. So, two days ago, I got a call from an old friend of mine. Gav Temperly. You remember him?

Franco: Aye.

Simon: Anyway. He's on business in Amsterdam. And he's in a café one morning, and he hears this voice beside him. A whiny, cunty voice.

Franco: No.

Simon: So he turns around, right? This is two fucking days ago. I'm just getting over it myself. There he is.

Franco: Holy fucking moly.

Simon: Hasn't changed in 20 years. Very same smug, little cunty grin across his ugly face.

Franco: For fuck's sake!

Simon: Aye, Renton. Mark fucking Renton. Living in Amsterdam all this time on our money.

Franco: Cunt. Did Renton clock him?

Simon: No. So Gav followed him. He went into an office block not far from the center of town. And Gav had to split then, but he's gonna go back. He's gonna hang out, he's gonna follow Renton home, and then...

Franco: And we're gonna pay him a visit.

Simon: Exactly.

Franco: I need a passport.

Simon: I can get you one. I'll take some weapons. Well, we can probably get weapons there, Franco.

Franco: Aye. Probably. They've got that kind of stuff in Amsterdam, eh?

Simon: Aye. Now, the important thing is for you to keep your head down. Low profile till the passport comes through, till I get the tickets. Cause this is an opportunity, Frank.

Franco: Right.

Simon: I'm gonna fucking tear him to pieces.

Franco: You most definitely fucking will.

Simon: Simon and I do not sleep together.

Franco: No? I had wondered.

Simon: Once, but...

Lawyer: So, are you the woman in the video?

Veronika: My face is not seen.

Lawyer: Do you have any identifying marks? Tattoos on your buttocks?

Veronika: Certainly not.

Lawyer: [[w:Perineum|perineum; ''Veronika looks confused and Mark leans over to whisper''] On your ]?

Mark: [[w:vagina|vagina; [w:anus|bumhole] It's the bit of skin between your ] and your ].

Viktoria: That's disgusting.

Lawyer: [[w:Vajazzle|vajazzled] So you're not ]. May I ask, what is your relationship with the accused?

Veronika: We are friends.

Lawyer: [''Mark walks back over''] Mark.

Lawyer: [''Mark walks away unimpressed''] She's too young for you.

Mark: [''Reading off laptop''] Here it is. "EU Small Business Development Loans. Zero-interest loans distributed regionally towards projects that stimulate regeneration of formerly industrial areas. Loans are available of up to 100,000. Applications should be made online, which may be followed by an invitation to present a business plan.

Simon: Blah, blah, fucking blah.

Mark: I'm trying to help you, Simon. We're blowing all that cashpoint money on lawyer's fees.

Simon: You could've got someone cheaper.

Mark: Well, I wouldn't have had to get anyone at all if you hadn't engaged in fucking blackmail. Is there anything left of your 4,000 I gave you?

Simon: No, I've got expenses, just like everyone else.

Mark: What, all of it? You snorted the whole fucking wad?

Simon: It's called debt, Mark.

Mark: The point is, we need cash now, not in six months time.

Simon: And you realize what's at stake here? I promised to set up a sauna for Veronika. And if I don't get it up and running soon, she's gonna leave me.

Mark: Fucking leave you anyway.

Simon: No, it's not gonna happen.

Mark: Is she actually even with you?

Simon: She's my girlfriend.

Mark: You've never ever been a normal junkie.

Simon: I have fucked her, and I'll fuck her again.

Mark: What? When she was working at the sauna?

Simon: That's not fair. You know, since we're having this conversation, I can tell you that fully consensual, emotionally driven, not-for-profit sexual intercourse has been attained.

Mark: Simon, you're a romantic.

Simon: Veronika and I have had our rough patches. I'll be the first to admit that.

Mark: Shall we submit this application?

Simon: Do what you want, but I need someone on-site working. I need progress. Now.

Mark: And it's midnight. Start again.

Renton: [[w:George Best|Georgie Best; [w:Playboy Playmate|Playboy models; [w:champagne|champagne] So, there's this room service guy, right? And he comes into the room, and there is ] lying on the bed with two ]. Three in a bed, ] and a little bit of Charlie, and there's banknotes. But they're lying on the banknotes.

Veronika: Lying on the money?

Mark: Yes.

Veronika: Why?

Mark: I don't know. Because he has a lot of money. Or at least he had a lot of money at the time, anyway. The room service guy, he comes in, and he sees this scene that I just described to you, and he says, "George Best...

Simon: Greatest footballer of all time.

Mark: Exactly. "The greatest footballer of all time, I have to ask you, "'Where did it all go wrong?'" Where did it all go wrong? Where did it all go wrong? Where did it all go wrong, George Best?

Veronika: Yeah, but... I think that the room service guy, you know... I think he makes a very good point. No?

Mark: [[w:Hibernian F.C.|Hibs; [w:Fort Lauderdale Strikers|Fort Lauderdale Strikers; [w:San Jose Earthquakes|San Jose Earthquakes] He played for ] in 1979 between stints for the ] and the ]. I went to see him play, apparently. My dad took me. He said, "You've got to see this. You've got to see this player. "Got to see this greatest footballer of all time." So it was a big game, it was a big crowd, and a big guy in front of me. I couldn't see a thing. Not a single thing. Not for 90 minutes. But I've got the program, so... I mean, I've always got that, you know?

Mark: Thin. Thin. Nobody was fat back then.

Simon: It's not just the football, is it?

Mark: It's the end of austerity. There was no such thing even as a calorie till 1974.

Simon: [[w:Civil Rights|civil rights; [w:space exploration|space exploration] Welcome to the new age of ], ].

Mark: [[w:List of countries with McDonald's restaurants|McDonald's] You know what happened in 1974? The first ] in the UK.

Simon: [[w:John Barry|John Barry; [w:football boots|football boots] He's basically ] with ].

Mark: See, look at that guy. He would be scrawny today.

Simon: A great, swaggering, filthy piece of music.

Mark: But then... That was totally normal till 1974. It's insurrection!

Simon: That's the beauty of what he does.

Mark: [[w:South London|South London; [w:Woolich|Woolwich] You know what happened in 1974? First McDonald's. ]. ].

Simon: Cheers. Up your ass.

Mark: Placebo.

Simon: There's a fucking...

Mark: Do it. Let's do it. Fuck off.

Simon: Yeah!

Mark: Yeah!

Security guard: You not gonna give us a song?

Renton: I can sing. I'll just... I'll just fucking make something up. You can play the piano.

Simon: I can't play the fucking piano.

Renton: [''Renton takes the stage and Simon takes the piano''] You know those two chords. The fucking F and G march you used to play at school. Do that. Good evening. My mate and I would like to sing a song that we wrote.

Renton: No. Is... Is that it? It was the year of 1690, on the 11th of July, or the first in Julian calendar. Wait, wait, wait. Give me something with a little bit of rhythm. Here we go. It was on the field of battle, of hope we were bereft, but by the time that it was over, there were no more Catholics left.

Renton: We looked up to King William, on his chin a royal cleft, and by the time that it was over, there were no more Catholics left. Aye! Fucking right. His strategy was strong, his strategy was deft, by the time that it was over, there were no more Catholics left, the battle now victorious. We foiled his papist theft, when the time was over, there were no more Catholics left, aye!

Simon: Hello Mark.

Mark: Simon.

Simon: So what you've been up to... for 20 years?

Mark: [[w:Amsterdam|Amsterdam] I've been in ].

Simon: Nice.

Mark: Alright.

Simon: So what else? Married?

Mark: Aye.

Simon: Nice.

Mark: Dutch woman.

Simon: Kids?

Mark: Two.

Simon: Boys or girls?

Mark: One of each.

Simon: Wee mark ey? Raise a chip off the old block.

Mark: James actually, and Lora. How about you?

Simon: I have a son. He is in London with his fucking whore mother.

Mark: See him?

Simon: Pretty regular, currently once every ten years!

Mark: Alright.

Sick Boy: Job?

Mark: Aye. I did an accounting course. I work for a small business. Stock management software for the retail sector.

Simon: Very nice. Well, as you can see I run my old aunty's pub. Very few customers, then they don't spend much. Sometimes I... I wonder if it's worth opening. The great wave of gentrification is yet to engulf us. There we go, eh? My lotted life!

Mark: I see.

Simon: [While beating mark] six...teen...thousand...pounds! You thieving fucking bastard!

Mark: You missed the trick, that's what hurts isn't it? I had the brains and fucking balls to steal the money, and you didn't!

Trevor Goodchild: I'm getting worried about you, Oren. This edge you've taken. Displays like that aren't helpful to us.

Oren Goodchild: [shrugs] I believe in protecting what we've created. I don't apologize for that.

Trevor Goodchild: This was created to allow me to do my work. I can't do that if you can't control yourself. Understood?

Oren Goodchild: Yes, it is.

Trevor Goodchild: And what of the test results?

Oren Goodchild: [lying] All negative…sorry.

Trevor Goodchild: Find me a new test group by morning.

Oren Goodchild: Maybe it's time to give up on the tests, Trevor. We're living the solution already. This is perfection. Why can't you just embrace it?

Trevor Goodchild: You see what's happening to people. You know how desperate this has become.

Oren Goodchild: It can be controlled. Contained.

Trevor Goodchild: I think your forgetting that this was all meant to be temporary.

Oren Goodchild: You've always said that, but why should it be?

Trevor Goodchild: Because it's wrong.

Oren Goodchild: Things change…but I know you won't.

Trevor Goodchild: [smiling] You know me.

Oren Goodchild: Been your brother a long time.

Oren Goodchild: You're right about that.

Begbie: Did you bring the cards?

Sick Boy: What?

Begbie: The cards, the last thing I told you was to mind the cards!

Sick Boy: Well, I've not brought them.

Begbie: It's fucking boring after a while without the cards.

Sick Boy: I'm sorry.

Begbie: Bit fucking late, like.

Sick Boy: Why didn't you bring them?

Begbie: Cause I fucking told you to bring them, you doss cunt!

Sick Boy: Christ...

Sick Boy: It's certainly a phenomenon in all walks of life.

Renton: What do you mean?

Sick Boy: [[w:George Best|George Best; [David Bowie; [Lou Reed] Well, at one time, you've got it, and then you lose it, and it's gone forever. All walks of life: ], for example. Had it, lost it. Or ]. Or ].

Renton: Lou Reed, some of his solo stuff's not bad.

Sick Boy: No, it's not bad. But it's not great either, is it? And in your heart you kind of know that although it sounds all right, it's actually just...shite.

Renton: So who else?

Sick Boy: [[w:Charlie Nicholas|Charlie Nicholas; [w:David Niven|David Niven; [w:Malcolm McLaren|Malcolm McLaren; [Elvis Presley] ], ], ], ]...

Renton: Okay, okay, so what's the point you're trying to make?

Sick Boy: [[w:The Name of the Rose (film)|The Name of the Rose] All I'm trying to do, Mark, is help you understand that ] is merely a blip on an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory.

Renton: [[The Untouchables] What about ]?

Sick Boy: I don't rate that at all.

Renton: Despite the Academy Award?

Sick Boy: That means fuck all. It's a sympathy vote.

Renton: Right. So we all get old and then we can't hack it anymore. Is that it?

Sick Boy: Yeah.

Renton: That's your theory?

Sick Boy: Yeah. Beautifully fucking illustrated.

Renton: Give me the gun. Give me the gun.

Sick Boy: [affects a Sean Connery accent] Do you see the beast? Have you got it in your sights?

Renton: [aiming the pellet gun at a dog; shoots the dog, which starts attacking its owner] Clear enough, Miss Moneypenny! This should present no significant problems!

Sick Boy: For a vegetarian, Rents, you're a fuckin evil shot!