J

Joyce Hyser Quotes

Actor

Memorable Quotes from Joyce Hyser

12 quotes
A Humorous Take on Gender Perspectives
Terry Come on, Buddy, admit it. You would love to spend your entire life just using women's bodies.
Buddy Yeah, all but the last 60 seconds. I'd like a little time to reminisce.
Struggling with Freedom and Relationships
Terry Budmeister, are you okay?
Buddy No, Terry, I'm not. Mom and Dad come home Monday. I've had two weeks of total freedom. The closest that I've come to sex was a girl who took her top off to seduce my sister. What's wrong with me?
Acknowledging Growth and Gratitude
Mr. Raymaker I'm sorry I misjudged you.
[after reading her article]
Terry You don't have to apologize. I wouldn't have this job if it weren't for you. I mean, you forced me to fight for what I wanted, and I will never forget you for that.
Mr. Raymaker Thank you.
[smiles]
A Lesson in Male Behavior
Buddy Very crucial. Something every guy does. Let me see you scratch your balls.
Budy Hey, come on, try it.
Buddy Wait a minute. Watch the master. Now first, there's your basic shift. But that's not always enough. Sometimes you've got to get inside, dig a little, let some air in, move things around.
[Buddy shifts his body with his balls]
Terry Yeah, well, maybe my balls don't itch.
Buddy All balls itch. It's a fact!
Understanding and Acceptance in Friendship
Terry I bet you're a little confused.
Rick I think I understand.
Terry I know I should've told you sooner, but, uh... I didn't. Um... I'm a...
Rick Terry, I know. You're gay.
[cuts her off]
Terry I'm not gay.
Rick Wait a minute. Now I'm confused.
Terry I'm a girl. I'm a woman.
Rick Right, and I'm ].
[chuckles; [Cyndi Lauper]
Rick Wait a minute, are those what I think they are?
Terry I'm sorry.
Rick Where do you get off having tits?
Terry There was this contest, and I needed prove it, but then I stayed and I met you. And you're so wonderful that...
Rick Shit... I can't believe this.
Terry Rick, I know you're mad, but I think you're terrific, and your friendship means so much to me that I just...
Rick Then this whole thing was bullshit. Major bullshit.
Rick It's okay, everybody. It's all right. He has tits.
[pushes Terry off him]
The Challenges of Gender Perspectives
Terry Sometimes I just wish I were a guy.
Buddy No, you don't. The male body needs sex at all times. It's a living hell.
Balancing Ambition and Practicality in Career Choices
Terry I am going to be a reporter.
Mr. Raymaker That's good. I like that attitude. But don't you think that it would be nice to have something to fall back on?
Terry Like what?
Mr. Raymaker Uh, well, you're a pretty girl, you could be a model.
Terry Be a model? Why? Because a pretty girl couldn't possibly have a brain?
Unexpected Visitors and Unusual Situations
Terry Listen, there's a half-naked woman in your bedroom feeding pizza to some fish, and she's all yours.
Buddy Sounds too kinky for me.
Terry Budster, I need you. She needs you. You need her.
Buddy Is she really half-naked?
Terry Maybe more by now.
Buddy What if you're lying?
Terry What if I'm not?
Buddy Good point. If I'm not back in a week, forward my mail.
A Question of Profound Thoughts
Terry Can't you think of anything more profound than getting laid?
Buddy A blowjob?
Inappropriate Timing for Actions
Terry What are you doing?
Rick What's it look like I'm doing?
Terry Well, do you have to do that in here?
Rick Seemed like the right time, certainly the right place.
Confusion Over Underwear in Friendship
Terry I know I could do better. I'm just confused.
Buddy Of course you're confused. You're wearing my underwear.
Navigating Youthful Desires and Relationships
Buddy I'm 15 years old. In two years, I reach the peak of my sexual powers. The clock is ticking. I have to get jamming.
Terry Can't you hear what you're saying? Aren't you a little embarrassed?
Buddy Nope. I'm horny. Horny will kick embarrassment's ass every time.
Terry Budster, listen to me. Don't you want your first time to be with someone you love?
Buddy I guarantee it, I'll be in love.