Justice SmithQuotes

Simon: Szass Tam won't be happy about this.

Edgin: Well, if he comes back, we'll be ready.

Doric: We"?

Edgin: Oh, that's right. You don't like humans, do you?

Doric: Some are okay. What about you? Going back to the Harpers? Be with your people?

Edgin: I'm with my people.

Simon: [chuckles] So, uh, I know my last attempt to court you was quite bad. But I wonder if you'd consider having another go at it.

Doric: [pause] Yeah, alright.

Simon: [excited] Yeah?

Doric: Calm down.

Simon: [sighs] Right.

Sofina: For too long, I've endured the arrogance of Forge Fitzwilliam, the false charm, the quips. And just as I begin to purge this place of its living filth, you dare interpose. Now, as you die, rest assured it will not be the end, for you will forever suffer.

Edgin: Ugh! I'm sorry, your breath just smells like...old clothes. It's bad.

Sofina: What is this?

Simon: I countered your Time Stop. I got better.

Edgin: [Doric turns into an owlbear and attacks Sofina; Sofina wakes up; Doric pins her again and throws her into a wall] We had to distract you so Kira could slap on that cuff and so Doric could do this. I think you got her.

Edgin: [hears the horn that signals the High Sun Games] The Games have started. We're going to Plan C.

Simon: Oh, buttocks. What's Plan C?

Edgin: [turns and points to Simon] Plan C is we go back to Plan A. We're gonna attune to the helmet.

Holga: Why don't you just call it Plan A?

Edgin: Plan A has a stink on it.

Simon: [losing his temper] You know darn well I can't attune to the thing.

Edgin: [[gravity] That's not true! You couldn't attune to it. Look at me. Look at me! Huh? Do you remember that job in Loudwater? You couldn't spider-climb until Jolym sicked his dog on you. And when we robbed the spear of Aoth Fezim, your Stone Skin spell failed until the arrows were inches away. Even in Triboar, you flipped the ] of the whole theater!

Doric: [amazed] You did?

Simon: [embarrassed] By accident. It was wild magic and that only happened because they were gonna kill me.

Edgin: [pats Simon on the cheek] Exactly! Look, you are at your strongest when you think you're at your weakest. But you deliver. You're gonna get into that vault, okay? Not because you can, but because you must.

Doric: I'm gonna keep chipping away. If I can get a quarter inch, I'll be able to squeeze through as a worm.

Edgin: As a worm! A-as a worm! Perfect! Do you see this? Now we have a Plan D if Plan C fails.

Holga: Isn't Plan D just Plan B again?

Edgin: Plan B has a stink too.

Simon: It all stinks.

Holga: How bout this: we use the Hither-Thither staff to get into the vault.

Simon: No, I've explained this. You can't Hither-Thither into a room you can't see.

Holga: I'm not saying that. I'm saying we put the portal on something and then sneak that thing into the vault.

Edgin: [[treasure] Mm, the only thing going in that vault is ].

Holga: So we put the portal on some treasure.

Edgin: Forge did say the richest men in Baldur's Gate and Waterdeep are bringing loot to the city. They'll be traveling the High Road. We could catch one of their convoys.

Doric: There'll be dozens of guards.

Edgin:: Yeah, but the guards will guarding against people taking things out of their wagon, not putting them in! Holga, I could kiss you!

Holga: Try it.

Elminster Aumar: There he is, the great Simon Aumar, sorcerer descended from wizarding blood.

Simon Aumar: Who are you?

Elminster: Don't you know me? My name is Aumar too.

Simon: You're my great-great-grandfather.

Elminster: [chuckles] That's quite the helm. What makes you think you're worthy of it?

Simon: I believe in myself?

Elminster: You're asking me?

Simon: No, I'm-I'm sure. I'm a great sorcerer.

Elminster: Are you now? Funny thing about magic: it chooses who may wield it and it does not suffer fools.

Simon: Why are you telling this?

Elminster: [taps the helm off Simon] Oh, I think you know, Simon.

Edgin: [they can ask a revived corpse five questions before it dies again] Were you killed in the Battle of the Evermoors?

Revived corpse: Yes.

Edgin: [to Simon] Great! I mean, not for you. Sorry for your loss. Four more questions, right?

Revived corpse: Yes.

Edgin: [to Simon] No, no, no, that wasn't for you. Did that count as a question?

Revived corpse: Yes.

Edgin: Dammit! Only answer when I talk to you, okay?

Revived corpse: Yes.

Simon: Why did you say "okay?" at the end of that?

Revived corpse: [lies back in its coffin, dead] I didn't.

Edgin: Fantastic. Where's the shovel?

Holga: So she did become a deer.

Edgin: [to Doric] Only at the very end. Are you absolutely sure about Sofina?

Doric: I saw her markings.

Simon: No wonder I couldn't counter her Time Stop.

Edgin: Forge knew all along he's got my daughter in there with a Red Wizard.

Doric: The vault is protected by something called "Morty Caiman's Arcane Seal".

Simon: Mordenkainen?

Doric: Yeah, that's it.

Simon: [disbelief] Oh, pity!

Edgin: What?

Simon: If the vault has Mordenkainen's Seal, we're not getting in. It's impenetrable.

Holga: [[magic] Can't you just open it with ]?

Simon: Okay, here we go. I hate how everyone thinks that you can solve any problem with magic. There are limits. This isn't some bedtime story. This is the real world.

Doric: So there's no way to open it?

Simon: Well, I mean, if I was one of the world's most powerful sorcerers, so no. Or if we had the Helm of Disjunction.

Edgin: [gets the idea] The what?

Simon: [gets up] It's a helmet that disables all nearby enchantments. But it doesn't matter. That thing went missing ages ago. We're done.

Edgin: [follows Simon] Huh? C'mon! What's the problem? We can find the helmet.

Simon: Even if we could, I couldn't use it without attuning to it, which I'm terrible at.

Edgin: Oh, you can do it. I know you can.

Simon: You saying that doesn't make it so.

Edgin: Yeah, but you saying it does.

Simon: But I can't.

Edgin: Yes you can.

Simon: But I won't.

Edgin: Just say it.

Simon: No!

Edgin: [walks to sit back down] Ugh, fine. Can we just keep this between us? I don't wanna hurt the group's morale.

Simon: [sits back down as well] What morale?

Doric: Holga knows where the helmet is.

Edgin: [looks at Holga] You do?

Holga: [[Dragon] My tribe fought the Cult of the ] over it at the Evermoors. We can just ask them where it went.

Simon: [[battle] That ] was a century ago. They're all dead.

Holga: So ask them with magic.

Doric: He just made a whole speech how he can't fix everything with magic.

Simon: [he admits it; Holga chuckles in approval, as if to say "I told you so."] Actually, that is something I can do.

Doric: [shocked] You can bring back the dead?

Simon: I can't, uh, bring them back, but I have this token that lets me ask corpses some questions and then they go back to being dead.

Doric: Yuck.

Simon: Yeah, it's fairly horrible.

Edgin: [he and Holga get up] It's fairly wonderful. We're off to the Evermoors. Thank you, Simon, for the drinks.

Simon: Oh, what? No...

Holga: Just pay it with magic.

Edgin: [turns around to see Holga frozen in time] She's caught in a Time Stop! Counter it, Simon!

Simon: [he runs off] I can't! Sofina's too powerful!

Edgin: [he tries to run away but slips on a golden chalice, turns to Forge; throws the Tablet of Reawakening to Forge] Take the tablet. Keep Kira safe.

Forge: [catches the Tablet of Reawakening; runs off] You have my word.

Tim Goodman: [to a Bulbasaur] I need to get Pikachu to a healer Pokémon. Please. I'm begging you. I don't wanna lose him too.

Tim Goodman: Mewtwo didn't cause the crash.

Tim Goodman: [about Mr. Mime] I think the trick is getting inside his head.

Tim Goodman: [about Lucy] I literally just met someone. She was a junior reporter at CNM. She was doing a story on Harry. I think she knows more than she let on.

Tim Goodman: I should've gotten on that train.

Tim Goodman: I will never smell your finger.

Tim Goodman: [recognizes Pikachu] You're Harry's Pokémon partner?

Tim Goodman: Harry's not dead. If his Pokémon partner is still alive, that means he is too.