The Chumscrubber - Debate on Strength and Survival
Lee:
He won't die!
Billy:
You wuss!
Lee:
He's stronger than he looks!
Billy:
Here! Stab him!
Lee:
Where?
Billy:
I don't know! In the stomach or something!
Lee: [stabs Charlie]
Shit!
Charley Bratley:
You stabbed me in the stomach!
Billy:
Is it deep?
Lee: [to Charlie]
Is it deep?
Charley Bratley: [pause]
Fuck you!
Billy: [sighs]
No, it's not deep.
Lee:
Well, fucking pardon me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Chumscrubber - Responsibility for Damage in Personal Space
Mr. Peck:
Who put that knife in the wall?
Billy:
I did.
Mr. Peck:
You're gonna fix that.
Billy:
It's my room.
Mr. Peck:
No this is not your room. This is a room in my house. This is my room.
Billy:
So then you can fix it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Chumscrubber - Unraveling Relationships and Unexpected Choices
Crystal Falls:
I probably would have ended up with a football player if I hadn't met you. And I'm not gonna lie - you've really kept it interesting, but I'm done.
Billy:
What the fuck are you talking about?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Chumscrubber - High School Lessons in Toughness and Resilience
Billy: [to Charlie]
Hey, shitballs, come here. I want to show you something. Now, when you get to high school, if anyone tries to kick your ass - well, you're probably gonna get your ass kicked anyways, but if you weren't such a pussy, you could try this. Come at me, hit me in the chest.
Billy:
No, really come at me like you got a pair.
Billy:
Good! That was good!
Crystal Falls:
Oh, my God, Billy! Are you hurt, Charlie?
Lee:
He's about half your size, man.
Billy:
Are you fucking kidding me? We fucking kidnapped this fucking kid! Am I the only person who fucking remembers that?
Lee:
You're such a dick.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Chumscrubber - Band Interests and Unexpected Revelations
Crystal Falls: [Billy is playing Charlie's tuba]
What are you doing?
Billy:
I was thinking of going out for marching band. It seems to be what all the chicks are into, you know?
Crystal Falls:
Yeah, Charlie nailed me all night long. It was unreal.
Crystal Falls:
Oh my god, Billy - why would you do that?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Chumscrubber - Kidnapping Demands and Family Tensions
Dean Stiffle: [talking to Billy in the phone]
What do you want? What are you talking about, man? Who?
Billy:
We got Charlie. Your brother. We kidnapped your brother. I got him right now. He's scared shitless.
Dean Stiffle:
Why did you kidnap my brother?
Billy:
So you know I'm not fucking around. I want the stuff from Troy.
Dean Stiffle:
I already told you...
Billy:
I don't think you're listening. You are going to get me Troy's drugs.
Dean Stiffle:
Or what?
Billy:
Don't push me, psycho.
Dean Stiffle:
Or what?
Billy:
I'll kill him. That's what I'm gonna kill him. I'm not fucking around, man. I swear to God! I'll cut off his fucking head!
Dean Stiffle: [hangs up]
Fine. Kill him.
Crystal Falls:
Billy, what did he say?
Billy:
He said for us to kill him. Maybe he is crazy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Chumscrubber - The Impact of Identity and Media Exposure
Crystal Falls:
Don't pretend you're someone you're not, because after a while you forget you were acting, and so will everyone else.
Various Teens: [repeated line]
It's for school.
Dean Stiffle:
I read this statistic once, that the average kid sees something like 10,000 dead bodies on TV before he turns 18.
Dean Stiffle:
Can/Will somebody pick up THE GOD DAMN PHONE!
Mrs. Johnson: [repeated line to everyone]
I just thought you should know that, in no way whatsoever, do I blame you for Troy's death.
Terri Bratley: [after noticing officer Lou Bratley watching her from the other side of the street]
I see you, Lou! Don't you think I can't see what you're doing, Lou! Can't you see I just don't fucking love you anymore!
Billy: [talking to dean in the phone]
Hello? Ask for Dean. Is Dean there, please?
Billy: [playing Charley's "Chumscrubber" video game]
Ah! Come on! Let's see some fucking gore/blood already.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.