Justin HenryQuotes

Billy Kramer: Daddy?

Ted Kramer: Yeah?

Billy Kramer: I'm sorry.

Ted Kramer: I'm sorry too. I want you to go to sleep because it's really late.

Billy Kramer: Daddy?

Ted Kramer: Now what is it?

Billy Kramer: Are you going away?

Ted Kramer: No. I'm staying here with you. You can't get rid of me that easy.

Billy Kramer: That's why Mommy left, isn't it? Because I was bad?

Ted Kramer: Is that what you think? No. That's not it, Billy. Your mom loves you very much... and the reason she left has nothing to do with you. I don't know if this will make sense, but I'll try to explain it to you. I think the reason why Mommy left... was because for a long time... I kept trying to make her be a certain kind of person. A certain kind of wife that I thought she was supposed to be. And she just wasn't like that. She was... She just wasn't like that. I think that she tried for so long to make me happy... and when she couldn't, she tried to talk to me about it. But I wasn't listening. I was too busy, too wrapped up... just thinking about myself. And I thought that anytime I was happy, she was happy. But I think underneath she was very sad. Mommy stayed here longer than she wanted because she loves you so much. And the reason why Mommy couldn't stay anymore... was because she couldn't stand me. She didn't leave because of you. She left because of me. Go to sleep now because it's really late, okay? Good night. Sleep tight.

Billy Kramer: Don't let the bedbugs bite.

Ted Kramer: See you in the morning light.

Billy Kramer: Daddy?

Ted Kramer: Yeah?

Billy Kramer: I love you.

Ted Kramer: I love you too.

Ted Kramer: All right, come on, put that down and eat your dinner, it's getting cold.

Billy Kramer: What is this crap?

Ted Kramer: It's Salisbury steak.

Billy Kramer: I hate it.

Ted Kramer: You do not hate it. You had it last week and you loved it.

Billy Kramer: No, I didn't.

Ted Kramer: Um-hmm!

Billy Kramer: I hate the brown stuff. It's gross.

Ted Kramer: All that is is onions and gravy.

Billy Kramer: I'm allergic to onions.

Ted Kramer: You are not allergic to onions. You had this last week, and remember, I told you it was my favorite when I was a little boy, and you said It's my favorite, too.

Billy Kramer: I did not.

Ted Kramer: Yes, you did. Here. It's regular hamburger. Just give it a little bite. It's delicious!

Ted Kramer: So what's the matter?

Billy Kramer: I think I'm gonna throw up.

Ted Kramer: No, you're not, now you're gonna eat your...

Billy Kramer: It's eee-yucky!

Ted Kramer: It is not yucky', Billy. Eat it!

Billy Kramer: Do you remember to bring the chocolate chip ice cream home?

Ted Kramer: [angrily, making fun of Billy's question; changes tone of voice; while Billy bring ice cream to the table; Billy eat ice cream and Ted loses his temper, gets up from the chair to snatch Billy up and cart him toward his bedroom as punishment] Yes, I did remember to bring the chocolate chip ice cream home, and you can't have any of it until you eat all your dinner, and then eat your meat and your corn... Where are you going? Get back here right now, did you hear me? You'd better not do that. You'd better stop right there, fella, I'm warning you. Hey! Did you hear me? Now you listen to me! Don't be smart now. You go right back and put that back until you finish your dinner so eat it... Okay, I'm warning you, you take one bite out of that and you're in big trouble. Don't... Hey! Don't you dare... Don't you dare do that. You hear me? Hey! Stop! Hold it right there! You put that ice cream in your mouth and you are in very, very, very big trouble! Don't you dare go anywhere beyond that... Put it down right now, I'm not going to say it again. I'm not going to say it again! I am not...

Billy Kramer: [shrieking; kicks Ted] Ow! You're hurting me!

Ted Kramer: [raging madly] That's it! OW! Don't you kick me!

Billy Kramer: I hate you!

Ted Kramer: [furious; unceremoniously dumps him on the bed] Well, you're no bargain either, pal! You are a spoiled, rotten little brat and I'll tell you right now...

Billy Kramer: [yelling furiously] I HATE YOU!!!

Ted Kramer: [still furious, ignoring Billy's rant; storms out of the room] AND I HATE YOU BACK, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!

Billy Kramer: [crying] I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!

Ted Kramer: [coldly and bitterly; furiously slams the door] I'm all you got!

Billy Kramer: [does a tantrum] I want my mommy!

Ted Kramer: How was school today?

Billy Kramer: Same as usual.

Ted Kramer: Hey, I see the Knicks finally won a game, what do you know?

Billy Kramer: I don't care.

Ted Kramer: What do you mean?

Billy Kramer: I like Boston.

Ted Kramer: Boston? Why do you like Boston?

Billy Kramer: Because Mommy's from Boston.

Ted Kramer: Okay, sit up and try to eat. Come on.

Billy Kramer: Can I be excused? I wanna go to bed.

Ted Kramer: Too much birthday cake?

Billy Kramer: Yeah, I guess.

Ted Kramer: I'm sorry. Excuse me. Louise, give me a hand.

Louise: You're 15 minutes late. Mr. O'Connor is very upset.

Ted Kramer: This all of it?

Louise: Yes. Do you want your mail now?

Ted Kramer: No, just give me the messages. Remind me to get a Crying Chrissie doll at lunch.

Louise: Okay, okay.

Ted Kramer: Sorry I'm late.

Louise: And there's a PTA meeting at the school on Tuesday at 4.

Ted Kramer: Right, thanks. Put the chicken in the refrigerator.

Margaret Kramer: Know who Charley's seeing now?

Ted Kramer: Who?

Margaret Kramer: A divorced woman with two little girls the same age as Kim and Petey.

Ted Kramer: Are you kidding? Are you kidding?

Margaret Kramer: Nope.

Ted Kramer: How do you know?

Margaret Kramer: I know.

Ted Kramer: How long has it been since you and Charlie broke up?

Margaret Kramer: A year and a half.

Ted Kramer: That long? I did I ever tell you how sorry, how really sad Joanna and I were, when you guys split?

Margaret Kramer: [laughs] Look at that cute little boy over there.

Ted Kramer: You think you'll ever get married again?

Margaret Kramer: Uh-uh.

Ted Kramer: I mean, to anybody.

Margaret Kramer: Uh-uh!

Ted Kramer: Why?

Margaret Kramer: [sighs] I don't know, maybe it's different if you don't have children, but... even if Charley and I aren't living together, and even if we're sleeping with other people, and... even if Charley were to get married again... I don't know, he's still... my husband and he's still the father of my children and... That stuff about "till death do you part," that's really true.

Ted Kramer: Well, let me ask you this. Let's say Charley finishes his midlife crisis, and he's had it with his flings, and comes asking for forgiveness. What would you do?

Margaret Kramer: [long pause] I think...that if he really loved me...he wouldn't have let me divorce him.

Ted Kramer: You still think about him, don't you?

Margaret Kramer: [pause] Only all the time. Think about Joanna?

Ted Kramer: Never.

Margaret Kramer: [laughs] You liar!

Ted Kramer: Some pair, boy...

Billy Kramer and Phyllis Bernard: [simultaneously] Hi.

Billy Kramer: What's your name?

Phyllis Bernard: I'm Phyllis Bernard.

Billy Kramer: Who?

Phyllis Bernard: I'm a friend... uh, business associate of your father's... dad.

Ted Kramer: [In the bedroom] Oh, Jesus.

Billy Kramer: Do you like fried chicken?

Phyllis Bernard: Fried chicken? Very much.

Billy Kramer: So do I.

Phyllis Bernard: Umm... well, it's really... It's been nice seeing you and...

Billy Kramer: Bye.

Phyllis Bernard: Bye.

Phyllis Bernard: Kramer, I just met your son.

Billy Kramer: When's mommy coming back?

Ted Kramer: I don't know, Billy, soon.

Billy Kramer: How soon?

Ted Kramer: Soon.

Billy Kramer: Will she pick me up after school?

Ted Kramer: Probably. And if she doesn't I will.

Billy Kramer: What if you forget?

Ted Kramer: I won't forget.

Billy Kramer: What if you get run over by a truck and get killed?

Ted Kramer: Then Mommy will pick you up.

Joanna Kramer: I love you, Billy.

Billy Kramer: I love you too, Mommy.