Memorable Quotes from Ken Hudson Campbell
2 quotesPantry Stocking Mishap in Submarine Crew
Pascal
BUCKMAN! What the hell are you doing?!
[Buckman turns around with a start]
Seaman Buckman
Stocking the pantry, sir!
Pascal
You forgot like an idiot, Buckman, because you're stocking the pantry like an idiot! What are in these cans, Buckman?!
[grabs two cans from the shelves]
Buckman
That one's coffee. That one looks like cooking lard, sir.
Pascal
And which one do you think we're gonna be using more often, sailor? The coffee, or the lard?! You think we're all gonna jump out of bed in the morning and have a big, hot, steaming cup of pig fat?!
Buckman
Well, it depends. If it's a cold morning, sir, you might go either way --
Pascal
The lard... is in... your head, Buckman! Now you take a look at that galley chart, cause I want that cabinet repacked, regulation style, by eleven hundred! Do you know what time eleven hundred is?!
[turning to hurl cans from the pantry; grabs Buckman by the ear, as Dodge enters behind him]
Buckman
That would be after ten hundred, sir!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Complimenting Shoes in a Holiday Encounter
Kevin
Excuse me.
Santa's Elf
Yeah?
Kevin
Hey, nice shoes.
Santa's Elf
Oh, thanks.
Kevin
Is he still here? It's really important that I see him.
Santa's Elf
He's getting in his car. I guess if you hurry, you can catch him.
Santa
Damn! How low can you go! Giving Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve! What's next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?
Kevin
Santa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a minute?
Santa
If you make it quick. Santa's got a little get-together he's late for.
Kevin
I know that you're not the real Santa Claus.
Santa
What makes you say that? Just out of curiosity.
Kevin
I'm old enough to know how it works.
Santa
All right.
Kevin
But I also know you work for him. And I'd like you to give him a message.
Santa
Shoot.
Kevin
My name is Kevin McCallister, and my address is 671 Lincoln Boulevard. Do you need the phone number?
Santa
No, that's all right.
Kevin
This is extremely important. Would you please tell him that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. No toys. Nothing but Kate, Peter, Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins. And if he has time, my Uncle Frank, okay?
Santa
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Kevin
Thanks.
Santa
Wait. Hold on a second. My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend.
Kevin
That's okay.
Santa
No, no, no, don't be silly. Everybody who sees Santa has gotta get something. Here, hold out your little paw there. There you go. Don't spoil your dinner.
[pours out a few mint Tic-Tacs into Kevin's glove]
Kevin
I won't. Thanks.
Santa
SON OF A!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.