Ken Jeong Quotes

Mr. Chow I do blow all night. Monkey jerk me off while I watch Stu make fuck with lady-boy.

Kathy There's my sweet little babies. I just love a family reunion.

Mr. Chu We are living a Goosebumps story right now?

Tommy Someone beam me out of this classroom.

Gummy Bear You'll never take me alive!

Headless Horseman Hyah!

Mr. Chow What's the matter, you never do blow before? Sometimes your heart stop, it start up again. Read a book.

Mr. Chow Hold still, I'm trying to help!

Alan Are you out of your mind?

Mr. Chow So long, bitches!

Mr. Chow I believe I can fly... I love cocaine!

Chinese Food Delivery Guy Someone order Chinese food?

Edward Sullen Let's go! They'll be hungry again in a half-an-hour!

Frank Kardashians.

Becca Edward it's not sunny anymore it's twilight. (Moon shifts into a New Moon)

Darren Hey, New Moon. (Shifts to Eclipse)

Daro Augh! Eclipse.

Angus Hartman for the love of GOD stop tanning, you look like a cheese nip, you look like a orange with lips, you look like a wrinkled peach. And you Geraldo, lose the wig, you look like a retired porn star.

Alan We can't be friends anymore. When we get together, bad things happen and people get hurt.

Mr. Chow Yeah, but that's the point! It's funny!

Wye Mun Goh Let me get this straight. You both went to the same school. Yet someone came back with a degree that's useful, and the other one came back as Asian Ellen.

Oliver T'sien It's about time somebody stood up to Auntie Eleanor. But you, not me, oh god. She can't ever know I was here.