UHF - A Disparaging Exchange Between Two Characters
R.J. Fletcher:
You are a worthless human being, Mr., um...
Stanley Spadowski:
Spadowski, sir. Stanley Spadowski.
R.J. Fletcher: [chuckles]
Might I call you Stanley?
Stanley Spadowski: [chuckles]
Okay...
R.J. Fletcher:
Stanley, YOU'RE FIRED!!
Stanley Spadowski:
But I-I-I didn't --
R.J. Fletcher:
GET OUT!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Missing Items on the Desk
R.J. Fletcher:
Do you see anything missing from this desk?
Stanley Spadowski: [Snapping his finger and pointing]
That stapler?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Conflict Between Father and Son at Work
R.J. Fletcher:
You idiot! Can't you do anything I tell you to do?! Does this look like a Number 2 pencil?!
Richard Fletcher:
No... but... I just thought --
R.J. Fletcher: [''snaps pencil in two'']
You thought?! I don't pay you to think!
Richard Fletcher:
But, Dad...
R.J. Fletcher:
SHUT UP!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Censorship and Control in Media Discourse
R.J. Fletcher: [speaking to the crowd at the telethon]
Dear friends, I'm sure that one day you realize that by shutting down this hotbed of subversive activity...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Contempt for Community and Exploitation of Power
R.J. Fletcher: [[A Face in the Crowd (film)|The broadcast which gets Channel 8 shut down by the FCC]
(]) This community means about as much to me as a festering bowl of dog snot!! You think I CARE about the pea-brained yokels of this town?! If you took their combined I.Q., and multiplied it by a hundred, you might have enough intelligence to tie your shoe, if you didn't drool all over yourself first!! I can't stand those sniveling maggots. They make me want to puke. But, there is one good thing about broadcasting to a town full of mindless sheep. I always know I have them exactly where I want them. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Business Demands Responsibility, Not Irresponsibility
R.J. Fletcher:
This is a business, not a home for irresponsible pus-brains!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Piranha - Accountability in Scientific Research and Experimentation
Dr. Robert Hoak:
It was pure research. No scrounging for grant money. No academic politics. You don't know what that means to a scientist.
Paul Grogan:
You fed them. You kept them alive.
Dr. Robert Hoak:
I continued the experiment. There was so much more I could do with the species. So much further I could take them. You're not holding me responsible? I think you are. You pulled the plug and you're holding me responsible. Incredible. You're blaming me.
Paul Grogan:
I think if you open your mouth again I'll stick this pole in it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Piranha - Government Funding for Genetic Warfare Research
Paul Grogan:
The government paid you?
Dr. Robert Hoak:
Of course they paid. Where there's germ warfare, the bomb, chemical warfare, there's plenty of money. Special agencies. They pay. They pay a lot better than they do in private research.
Paul Hogan:
For raisin fish.
Dr. Robert Hoak:
Oh, no. It's a matter of genetics. Radiation. Selective breeding. They called it Operation Razorteeth.
Maggie McKeown:
What was it all for?
Dr. Robert Hoak:
To destroy the river systems of the North Vietnamese. Our goal was to develop a strain of this killer fish that could survive in cold water and then breed at an accelerated rate. We had everything. Blank cheque. And then the war ended.
Paul Grogan:
You sound disappointed.
Dr. Robert Hoak:
They poisoned the water. After all that work, they poisoned the water. But some survived. We developed a lot of mutants and a few of them were able to resist the poison. They ate their own. Their own dead. And then began to breed like some wild species. Suddenly there were hundreds. Maybe thousands.
Maggie McKeown:
Our tax dollars at work, huh? That's science in the service of defence. Sure. Spreadin strains of bacteria in the subway system. You put them in the river where they could kill people. Including civilians. And kids swimming in the rivers.
Dr. Robert Hoak:
I never killed anybody.
Paul Grogan:
If you wanna talk about killing, talk to your politicians, the military.
Dr. Robert Hoak:
No, no. I'm a scientist.
Paul Grogan:
Kids in the water.
Maggie McKeown:
What?
Paul Grogan:
The dam. They let water through every few days to keep the level steady on the new lake. The resort's down there. Summer camp. All those kids. Come on.
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Piranha - Warning About Water Safety
Dr. Robert Hoak:
Keep your hand out of the water.
Maggie McKeown:
What's wrong with the water?
Paul Grogan:
Since you're talkin this morning, buddy, how about a name?
Dr. Robert Hoak:
Hoak. Dr Robert Hoak.
Maggie McKeown:
What's wrong with the water?
Dr. Robert Hoak:
The water is filled with carnivorous fish. Piranha.
Paul Grogan:
Oh, Christ.
Maggie McKeown:
In here? How did they get in?
Dr. Robert Hoak:
You let them in when you drained the pond at the test site.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Howling - Wild Nature and Unforeseen Circumstances
Erle Kenton:
You can't tame what's meant to be wild, Doc. It just ain't natural.
Fred Francis: [on the phone after Karen freezes during a newscast]
Who knows? Maybe she's pregnant. Listen, get in touch with that Fujiama, Fujimoto, or whatever the hell her name is and get her ready for the 11:00 report.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.