Confessions of a Shopaholic - Shopping Urges and Personal Struggles
Suze:
Bex, I just found the perfect book for you.
Garret E. Barton:
Control your urge to shop, with Garret E. Barton. That's me. Do you find yourself constantly drawn toward stores?
Suze:
Yes.
Rebecca Bloomwood:
Nope.
Garret E. Barton:
Does your heart quicken when you see new merchandise in neatly stacked piles?
Suze:
Yes!
Rebecca Bloomwood:
No.
Suze:
This guy's good!
Garret E. Barton:
Did you answer "no" to these questions and are consequently in denial?
Suze:
Yes.
Rebecca Bloomwood:
NO.
Garret E. Barton:
Did you just say "no" again?
Rebecca Bloomwood:
No... Yes...
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Confessions of a Shopaholic - Shopping Excuses and Justifications
Suze: [Rebecca pushes away bills; both gasp loudly]
I'll do this. It can't be that bad. It's just like a band-aid. It's gonna be fine. Bex! $200 on Marc Jacobs underwear?
Rebecca Bloomwood: [pours the tequila]
Oh, underwear is a basic, human, right.
Suze:
$78.00 on lavender honey?
Rebecca Bloomwood:
I felt sorry for the shop assistant. She had a lazy eye. I didn't know which way she was looking! I didn't know if she was looking at me, it was so sad.
Suze:
I can't even talk about this one.
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Confessions of a Shopaholic - Conflict Over a Shared Rivalry
Rebecca Bloomwood:
Don't talk about Fluke.
Suze:
Why? What happened?
Rebecca Bloomwood:
Alicia Bitch Longlegs is what happened.
Suze:
I hate her. Who is she?
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Confessions of a Shopaholic - Honesty and Deception in Job Applications
Suze:
Fluent in Finnish?
Rebecca Bloomwood:
Everyone has fudged their resume a little.
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Confessions of a Shopaholic - Ironic Advice on Money Management
Suze:
Don't you think it's ironic that Rebecca Bloomwood is advising people on how to handle money.
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She's Out of My League - Unexpected Encounters in a Phone Call
Kirk: [Answering Molly's phone]
Hello?
Patty:
Who is this?
Kirk:
Might be the guy with the new iPhone, who are you?
Patty:
Might be your worst fucking nightmare!
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She's Out of My League - Unexpected High School Reunion Humor
Patty:
You look just like someone I went to high school with.
Stainer:
Oh yeah? What high school? Maybe it was me.
Patty:
No, he's in a coma.
Stainer:
Huh. Who brought the good news bear? Somebody give her some fucking honey.
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She's Out of My League - Unconventional Advice in a Frustrating Situation
Patty:
Dude, go shit in your hand.
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She's Out of My League - Confrontation Over Cellphone Use on Plane
Plane Doctor:
You shouldn't be using your cellphone. It's bad for the plane.
Patty:
Oh, I'm sorry, are you the plane doctor? No? Then shut the fuck up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.