The Lobster - Measuring Love on a Scale
Loner Leader:
Do you love her?
Campari Man:
With all my heart.
Loner Leader:
How much do you love her? On a scale of 1 to 15.
Campari Man:
14.
Loner Leader: [pause]
14 is a very impressive score. He loves her very much indeed. Who do you think we should kill? Who will be able to live on their own better? You. If this woman dies, do you think you will manage on your own or will you get involved with someone else?
Campari Man:
No. I can live alone, she cannot... I like sitting in the room. Relaxes me. Calms me. I like it a lot. I can definitely live on my own.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lobster - A Quiet Place for Reflection and Finality
Loner Leader:
Can you imagine why I brought you to this quiet place today?
David:
No.
Loner Leader:
Because I think it's the perfect spot for your grave.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lobster - Unexpected Encounter in the Woods
Loner Leader:
Where were you? I was looking for you.
David:
I was masturbating behind those trees over there.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lobster - Themes of Loneliness and Loss in Conversation
Loner Leader:
We dance alone. That's why we only play electronic music.
Trainer Waiter - Shooting Range:
It's no coincidence that the targets are shaped like single people and not couples.
The Limping Man:
Hello everyone. My mother was left on her own when my father fell in love with a woman who was better at math than she was. She had a post graduate degree I think, whereas my mother was only a graduate. I was nineteen at the time. My mother entered the hotel, but didn't make it and was turned into a wolf. I really missed her. I found out she had been moved to a zoo. I often went there to see her. I'd give her raw meat. I knew that wolves liked raw meat, but I couldn't figure out which of the wolves was my mother so I used to give a little bit to each of them. One day I decided to enter the enclosure. I really missed her and I wanted a hug. I climbed the fence and jumped in. All the wolves charged at once and attacked me; all but two who stood motionless. My guess is that one of those two must have been my mother. The zoo guards got to me quite quickly and took me to the hospital. Thankfully I didn't lose my leg. I just have this limp, which is also my defining characteristic. My wife died six days ago. She was very beautiful and I loved her very much. She had a limp too.
Nosebleed Woman:
I'm sorry, I've got blood on your shirt. But don't worry, there are many ways to remove bloodstains from clothing. One way is to rinse the clothes with cold water then rub with sea salt. Another way is to scrub the stains with cotton wool dipped in ammonia. The third way is to mix flour and water into a paste, like toothpaste, especially if the clothes are delicate or brightly coloured. But just never use warm water on blood, ever.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.