Memorable Quotes from Leigh McCloskey
7 quotesUnexpected Demands and Unconventional Encounters
Russell
(assuming it's his roommate who has just went out hoping to get laid) Don't tell me, you forgot your dick!
Conchita
(bursting in with a submachine gun) I...want yours!
Conchita
Oy, Conchita Margarita Consuela Mario Henya Lopez Nazanine never takes no for an answer...now strip.
Conchita
Your clothes - you take them off, and make love to me now.
Russell
Conchita, Conchita, there is no sex at Buster Burger U.!
Conchita
Oh yea?
Russell
Ok, the pants...
Russell
Are we satisfied?
Conchita
Ah, I will tell you seven orgasms from now.
Conchita
Make that eleven.
Russell
Jesus, it's just not my day.
Conchita
You will do as I say...or I will scream rape.
Russell
Conchita, can we talk about this?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Sexual Self-Control
Undergraduate Counselor
Expelled - lewd conduct, expelled - nude conduct, hospitalized...your thing in a sling...?
Undergraduate Counselor
Do you believe yourself to be God's gift to women?
Russell
No, of course not! I just ask a girl to a movie and before we even leave the house we're in bed. It's been like this since my freshman year. I haven't seen a movie since E.T.!
Undergraduate Counselor
Russell, you must learn to exercise a little...sexual self control, if you expect to succeed in life.
Undergraduate Counselor
Now, I know that these are liberal times...
Undergraduate Counselor
...And well...I'm not exactly blind.
Undergraduate Counselor
It's no secret what women of all ages want...
Undergraduate Counselor
...Virile...hard bodied...young men.
Undergraduate Counselor
Like you.
Undergraduate Counselor
Let's find out...
Undergraduate Counselor
Oh...oh...
Undergraduate Counselor
Ah!
Undergraduate Counselor
Oh, Dean Doobery!
Russell
Oh, my father is gonna kill me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desires and Misunderstandings Among Characters
Russell
Ah, If you're looking for a payphone, forget it.
Biker Gang Leader
I want a woman!
Conchita
A real man!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Love for Dining Out
Fred
I love eating out!
Russell
You're a dead man!
Fred
Then I wanna die like this!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Desires in Conversation
Conchita
Now you tell me, what would you like for the woman to do to you?
Russell
(Smiles as he comes up with an plan) Oh, the woman? Nothing!
Conchita
Nothing?! Then what excites you?
Russell
Oh, tall, dark, sexy, sweaty, sun-tanned guerrilla fighters.
Conchita
Si...si, si, si.
Russell
Like your brother.
Conchita
(rolls down off him) No!
Russell
(starts talking and waiving his hands in a stereotyped gay fashion) Oh yes! He...he spends up a whole day fighting in the hills, single handedly killing half a dozen government troops with his great, big machete.
Russell
Hmm, the sun is setting, he comes home. I'm waiting for him by the campfire...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reunion Between Mrs. Cratchmatter and Russell
Mrs. Cratchmatter
Russell Procope!
Russell
Mrs. Cratchmatter!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Boundaries at BusterBurger University
Conchita
I was hoping you to show. I am Conchita Nazanine. In "Gwokamolee" I am known as "The Lay of The Land".
Conchita
I could teach you things you never knew could happen between two peoples!
Russell
Ah, not tonight! No sex at BusterBurger U., remember?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.