The Limey - Understanding Beyond Words
Ed:
Do you understand half the shit he says?
Elaine:
No, but I know what he means.
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Burglar - The Complexity of Violence and Despair
Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake:
There is a DISTINCT difference between killing someone and fucking them!
Carl Hefler:
Did you know that policemen have the highest rate of suicide?
Frankie:
That's not really my forte.
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Clue - Mysterious Circumstances and Dark Humor
Wadsworth:
Mrs. White, you've been paying our friend, the blackmailer, ever since your husband died under, shall we say, mysterious circumstances?
Miss Scarlet: [laughs]
Ah!
Mrs. White:
Why is that funny?
Miss Scarlet:
I see! That's why he was lying on his back, in his coffin.
Mrs. White:
I didn't kill him.
Col. Mustard:
Then why are you paying the blackmailer?
Mrs. White:
I don't want a scandal, do I? We had had a very humiliating public confrontation. He was deranged. A lunatic. He didn't actually seem to like me very much; he had threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet:
Why would he wanna kill you in public?
Wadsworth:
I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
Miss Scarlet:
Oh. Was that his final word on the matter?
Mrs. White:
Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say?
Wadsworth:
And yet, he was the one who died, not you, Mrs. White, not you!
Miss Scarlet:
What did he do for a living?
Mrs. White:
He was a scientist. Nuclear physics.
Miss Scarlet:
What was he like?
Mrs. White: [Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, and Mr. Green cross legs]
He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died, but, he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off, and so had his, uh, you *know*. I had been out all evening at the movies.
Miss Scarlet:
Do you miss him?
Mrs. White:
Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life.
Wadsworth:
But, he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.
Mrs. White:
But that was his job. He was an illusionist.
Wadsworth:
But he never reappeared!
Mrs. White: [admittedly]
He wasn't a very good illusionist.
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Clue - Miscommunication in a Confined Space
Col. Mustard:
Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?
Wadsworth:
Um... no.
Col. Mustard:
Then there is someone else in this house?
Wadsworth:
Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes.
Col. Mustard:
No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there, yes, or no?
Wadsworth:
No.
Col. Mustard:
No there is, or no there isn't?
Wadsworth:
Yes.
Mrs. White: [Smashes glass on fireplace]
PLEASE! Don't you think we should get that man out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here!
Miss Scarlet:
Yeah!
Professor Plum:
How can we throw him outside in this weather?
Miss Scarlet:
If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious!
Professor Plum:
If we throw him out, he may get even more suspicious!
Col. Mustard:
If I were him, I'd be suspicious already!
Mrs. Peacock: [hysterical]
Oh, who cares? That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour. The police will be here by then... and there are two dead bodies in the study!
All:
Shhhhhhhhhhh!
Col. Mustard:
Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house!
Wadsworth:
I told you, there isn't.
Col. Mustard:
There isn't any confusion, or there isn't anybody else?
Wadsworth:
Either! Or both.
Col. Mustard:
Just give me a clear answer!
Wadsworth: [clears throat]
Certainly! What was the question?
Col. Mustard: [shouting]
Is there anybody else in this house?
All: [shouting]
No!
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Clue - Discussion on Gender and Preferences
Col. Mustard: [[Rudyard Kipling|Kipling]
I prefer ] myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male." Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
Miss Scarlet:
Sure, I'll eat anything.
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