Lesley Ann Warren Quotes - Best Lines & Interviews

Memorable Quotes from Lesley Ann Warren

5 quotes

Clue

Discussion on Gender and Preferences

Col. Mustard I prefer ] myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male." Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?

[[Rudyard Kipling|Kipling]

Miss Scarlet Sure, I'll eat anything.

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Burglar

The Complexity of Violence and Despair

Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake There is a DISTINCT difference between killing someone and fucking them!

Carl Hefler Did you know that policemen have the highest rate of suicide?

Frankie That's not really my forte.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Limey

Understanding Beyond Words

Ed Do you understand half the shit he says?

Elaine No, but I know what he means.

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Clue

Mysterious Circumstances and Dark Humor

Wadsworth Mrs. White, you've been paying our friend, the blackmailer, ever since your husband died under, shall we say, mysterious circumstances?

Miss Scarlet Ah!

[laughs]

Mrs. White Why is that funny?

Miss Scarlet I see! That's why he was lying on his back, in his coffin.

Mrs. White I didn't kill him.

Col. Mustard Then why are you paying the blackmailer?

Mrs. White I don't want a scandal, do I? We had had a very humiliating public confrontation. He was deranged. A lunatic. He didn't actually seem to like me very much; he had threatened to kill me in public.

Miss Scarlet Why would he wanna kill you in public?

Wadsworth I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.

Miss Scarlet Oh. Was that his final word on the matter?

Mrs. White Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say?

Wadsworth And yet, he was the one who died, not you, Mrs. White, not you!

Miss Scarlet What did he do for a living?

Mrs. White He was a scientist. Nuclear physics.

Miss Scarlet What was he like?

Mrs. White He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I'm afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died, but, he was found dead at home. His head had been cut off, and so had his, uh, you *know*. I had been out all evening at the movies.

[Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, and Mr. Green cross legs]

Miss Scarlet Do you miss him?

Mrs. White Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life.

Wadsworth But, he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.

Mrs. White But that was his job. He was an illusionist.

Wadsworth But he never reappeared!

Mrs. White He wasn't a very good illusionist.

[admittedly]

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Clue

Miscommunication in a Confined Space

Col. Mustard Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?

Wadsworth Um... no.

Col. Mustard Then there is someone else in this house?

Wadsworth Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes.

Col. Mustard No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there, yes, or no?

Wadsworth No.

Col. Mustard No there is, or no there isn't?

Wadsworth Yes.

Mrs. White PLEASE! Don't you think we should get that man out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here!

[Smashes glass on fireplace]

Miss Scarlet Yeah!

Professor Plum How can we throw him outside in this weather?

Miss Scarlet If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious!

Professor Plum If we throw him out, he may get even more suspicious!

Col. Mustard If I were him, I'd be suspicious already!

Mrs. Peacock Oh, who cares? That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour. The police will be here by then... and there are two dead bodies in the study!

[hysterical]

All Shhhhhhhhhhh!

Col. Mustard Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house!

Wadsworth I told you, there isn't.

Col. Mustard There isn't any confusion, or there isn't anybody else?

Wadsworth Either! Or both.

Col. Mustard Just give me a clear answer!

Wadsworth Certainly! What was the question?

[clears throat]

Col. Mustard Is there anybody else in this house?

[shouting]

All No!