Memorable Quotes from Luke Bracey
11 quotesFinding Companionship During the Holidays
Jackson
Human beings aren't meant to be alone on the holidays. W-we actually need, you know, warmth, companionship, and someone to drunk-mock strangers with at parties.
Sloane
I do enjoy drunk-mocking strangers at parties
Jackson
Well, then, this is perfect. We can be each other's holidate for New Year's Eve.
Sloane
I don't even know you.
[chuckles]
Jackson
Yeah, well, that's what makes it perfect. Cause there's no pressure. There's no expectations. I mean... I don't even think I find you that attractive.
Sloane
Wow! Calm down with the flattery.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Holiday Disasters and Unforgettable Moments
Jackson
Hey, if it's any consolation, I spent my holiday in an ugly Christmas sweater sipping mocktails with a room full of people who I think were in a cult.
Sloane
I'll see your ugly Christmas sweater and raise you a seat at the kids table, my little brother getting engaged, and catching my aunt getting her cookie licked by a mall Santa.
Jackson
That's a... festive visual.
Sloane
Seared into my brain like a bad tattoo.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Confessions in a Complicated Situation
Jackson
So I guess we might have...
[awaking from a night of drinking]
Sloane
No, we didn't.
[also awaking from a night of drinking; stands up]
Jackson
You're wearing my underwear.
Sloane
Well, that doesn't... mean anything. I... probably got cold in the night... after my... panties fell... off.
[looks down and gasps; he spies panties, grabs them, and ducks behind a tall-backed chair to change]
Jackson
Ah, come on. You must be able to tell somehow.
Sloane
Tell how?
Jackson
I don't know. I don't have a vagina.
Sloane
Well, there's no forensic evidence, nothing's dried on my leg. There's no... wrapper on the floor, if that's what you're wondering.
[throws his underwear at him]
Jackson
Okay.
Sloane
Can't YOU tell?
Jackson
I mean, he looks a little tired, but... I don't think he's really satisfied.
[takes a look at himself under the blanket]
Sloane
I'm telling you we didn't do it. One of us would for sure be able to tell.
Jackson
Sweet. Let's go with that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Compliments on Appearance in a Dress
Jackson
By the way, your tits look exceptional in that dress.
[at a nightclub]
Sloane
Thanks. That's why I bought it.
[twirls around]
Jackson
Oh, love the way it hugs your ass, too.
Sloane
That's really sweet of you to notice.
[pats him on shoulder]
Jackson
This is great. I love it. I can just say whatever I want cause I don't care if you think I'm a classy guy or not.
Sloane
And I can wear a slutty dress and not worry about ].
[[w:Slut-shaming|being slut-shamed]
Jackson
What a holidate bonus.
Sloane
Hmm.
[they do high-five]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nostalgia and Food Choices in Holiday Conversations
Jackson
I don't eat that crap. Do you know what that does to your body?
[referring to pretzels]
Sloane
Yeah. It fills me with warm, delicious happiness. Like Christmas used to, before I realized Santa was a big scam.
Jackson
Yeah. Christmas peaked for me at about ten. I got a surfboard and my first complete set of golf clubs.
Sloane
Hmm.
Jackson
It was good.
Sloane
My best Christmas... was a Barbie Dream House, preassembled, and a ventriloquist puppet named Lester. He looked like :Jaleel White.
Jackson
Hmm?
Sloane
I sort of had a thing for Urkel. I spent months learning to throw my voice.
Jackson
Well, come on, let's hear it.
Sloane
No.
Jackson
Excuse me. I bought you a free pretzel. So, you owe me an Urkel. Come on. Come on.
Sloane
Did I do that? Did I do that?
[clears throat then in monotone voice]
Jackson
Nice.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Presentation Critique and Unexpected Injury
Howell
There's something off in your presentation, Private. Can't place it. Is it your hair? Is it the wrinkle in your trousers?
Smitty Ryker
I have a knife in my foot, Sergeant.
Howell
Oh, yes, of course, that's it. The knife. What is your name, soldier?
Smitty Ryker
Smitty Ryker.
Howell
No, your name is Private Idiot. Do you know why?
Smitty Ryker
Because I have a knife in my foot.
Howell
Who placed the knife there, Private?
Smitty Ryker
It was an accident, Sarge. We was playing Stretch.
Howell
I am heartened by the knowledge you did not place it there with intention. Who threw the knife?
Kirzinski
I did, Sergeant. Private Kirzinski.
Howell
You look part Indian. To what tribe do you belong, son?
Kirzinski
N-No, I'm Polish.
Howell
Wrong. I believe you must have Cherokee or Shawnee blood in you.
Kirzinski
No, Sergeant.
Howell
ARE YOU CONTRADICTING ME, YOU WAGON-BURNING SON OF A BITCH?!
Kirzinski
NO, SERGEANT!
Howell
LET ME SEE YOUR INDIAN WAR CRY, SON!
Kirzinski
I-I don't...
Howell
LOUDER! LET ME SEE IT!
Howell
What is your animal spirit?! Are you a garter snake?!
Kirzinski
NO, SERGEANT!
Howell
Are you a chipmunk?
Kirzinski
NO, SERGEANT!
Howell
Are you a dancing reindeer?
Kirzinski
NO, SERGEANT!
Howell
Are you contradicting me, Private?
Kirzinski
NO, SERGEANT!
Howell
Good. Then I shall henceforth call you "Chief" as a sign of great respect to your people.
Kirzinski
Thank you, Sergeant!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Professionalism in Athletics
Jackson
I-I don't do drugs.
Sloane
And you call yourself a professional athlete?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Names in Casual Conversation
Jackson
Bye, Felicia!
Felicity
It's Felicity.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Exchange Between Friends
Sloane
Thank you.
Jackson
Hmm.
Sloane
I owe you.
Jackson
That's better. Now, I'll take my hand job in the parking lot, thank you.
Sloane
Oh, a hand job. What are you, like, twelve?
Jackson
You gave hand jobs at twelve?
Sloane
I developed early.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Touch Sparks Humorous Concern
Jackson
Our hands touched.
Neil
Holy shit. D'use protection?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship and Support in Difficult Times
Elaine
She doesn't need another friend. She needs a husband, a partner, someone who is legally bound to be there during the chemo.
Sloane
What chemo?
Elaine
Oh, honey, don't kid yourself. You have bad genes - and bald women don't really get a lot of dates.
Jackson
You have nothing to worry about, okay? Sloane is a great girl - even bald.
Elaine
Then why aren't you sleeping with her?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.