Memorable Quotes from Maria Richwine
7 quotesUnexpected Demands and Unconventional Encounters
Russell
(assuming it's his roommate who has just went out hoping to get laid) Don't tell me, you forgot your dick!
Conchita
(bursting in with a submachine gun) I...want yours!
Conchita
Oy, Conchita Margarita Consuela Mario Henya Lopez Nazanine never takes no for an answer...now strip.
Conchita
Your clothes - you take them off, and make love to me now.
Russell
Conchita, Conchita, there is no sex at Buster Burger U.!
Conchita
Oh yea?
Russell
Ok, the pants...
Russell
Are we satisfied?
Conchita
Ah, I will tell you seven orgasms from now.
Conchita
Make that eleven.
Russell
Jesus, it's just not my day.
Conchita
You will do as I say...or I will scream rape.
Russell
Conchita, can we talk about this?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Name Confusion in a Humorous Exchange
Drill Sergeant
Nazanine? Is that your real name or what?
Conchita
Conchita Margarita Consuela Mario Henya Lopez Nazanine. It's real, mi general.
Drill Sergeant
It says here you're from "GWOK-a-mole". You look like you're from "GWOK-a-mole"!
Conchita
Gwok-a-MOL-ee"!
Drill Sergeant
Whatever!
Conchita
I have come to your country to learn the fast way to feed my starving people of the south.
Drill Sergeant
Then you came to the right place, sister.
Sister Sara
Yes?
Drill Sergeant
No!
Sister Sara
Sorry...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Exchange Between Buddy and Maria Elena
Buddy Holly
Boo!
Maria Elena Holly
Oh, you scared me half to death!
Buddy Holly
Where're ya goin?
Maria Elena Holly
I'm working
Buddy Holly
Have you been getting anything special in the mail lately?
Maria Elena Holly
Yes, and I don't mean to be rude, Buddy, but I just don't want to encourage you.
Buddy Holly
Why not?
Maria Elena Holly
There's no point going into it, just take my word. I think you're very sweet and thank you for the roses but now you're about to ask me out and I...
Buddy Holly
Wait, just wait a minute, just wait a minute, let me explain one thing to you. I have never, ever chased after a girl before in my life and it feels funny to me. Now if you're not gonna go out with me I wanna know why. You do like me don't you?
Maria Elena Holly
Yeah, I'm fond of you.
Buddy Holly
Well then, what's the hold up?
Maria Elena Holly
My aunt.
Buddy Holly
Your aunt? Mrs Santiago in the publishing department? She doesn't even know me!
Maria Elena Holly
It doesn't matter. You are a musician. And under no circumstances am I allowed to go out with a musician. I'm sorry.
Buddy Holly
Well let me go talk to her.
Maria Elena Holly
It won't do any good. That's not her only objection and you know it.
Buddy Holly
Well, what is the other objection?
Maria Elena Holly
I'm Puerto Rican. And you're, you're not.
Buddy Holly
So I'll change my name to Chihuahua
Maria Elena Holly
My aunt is very conscious of these things.
Buddy Holly
Are you kidding me with this stuff about your aunt? You're not kidding? Maria I just went through this, with people who said a white act couldn't play with a coloured tour, we got along fine, we're still get along. I don't even know where Puerto Rico is. I've gotta go back there, we'll finish this later, ok?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conchita's Quest for a Real Man
Conchita
Ah, you fruit-ah-cake!
Conchita
What good are you?!
Conchita
I come to this country to find a real man...and I will!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desires and Misunderstandings Among Characters
Russell
Ah, If you're looking for a payphone, forget it.
Biker Gang Leader
I want a woman!
Conchita
A real man!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Desires in Conversation
Conchita
Now you tell me, what would you like for the woman to do to you?
Russell
(Smiles as he comes up with an plan) Oh, the woman? Nothing!
Conchita
Nothing?! Then what excites you?
Russell
Oh, tall, dark, sexy, sweaty, sun-tanned guerrilla fighters.
Conchita
Si...si, si, si.
Russell
Like your brother.
Conchita
(rolls down off him) No!
Russell
(starts talking and waiving his hands in a stereotyped gay fashion) Oh yes! He...he spends up a whole day fighting in the hills, single handedly killing half a dozen government troops with his great, big machete.
Russell
Hmm, the sun is setting, he comes home. I'm waiting for him by the campfire...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Boundaries at BusterBurger University
Conchita
I was hoping you to show. I am Conchita Nazanine. In "Gwokamolee" I am known as "The Lay of The Land".
Conchita
I could teach you things you never knew could happen between two peoples!
Russell
Ah, not tonight! No sex at BusterBurger U., remember?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.