Mark JoyQuotes

Whitland: Morning. Has anyone seen the overnights?

Board: No

Whitland: [Loki and Bartleby are noticed seated, Loki peeling onions with a knife] We creamed em. Last night was a re-run which says to me... Do I smell onion? Excuse me. May I ask what you're doing in my boardroom?

Loki: [To Bartleby] You may proceed, mon ami.

Bartleby: I'm gonna have to start by apologizing. My friend has a bit of a penchant for the dramatic.

Loki: Oh come on!

Bartleby: [To the board room] Relax, I'm doing this. Mooby, the Golden Calf. Created by Nancy Goldruff, a former kindergarten teacher in 1989. Bought by the Complex Corporation in 1991. Broadcast nationally as the "Mooby Fun-Time Hour." Since its inception, has spawned two theatrical films, sixteen records, eight prime-time specials, and a library of priced-to-own videocassettes. Not to mention bicoastal theme parks... dubbed "Mooby World." Did I miss anything?

Whitland: You forgot Mooby Magazine.

Bartleby: Damn it!

Whitland: Now, is there a point to this?

Bartleby: You and your board are idolaters.

Loki: [To Bartleby; Places the onion, carved in the shape of a man, before Whitman; Sneezes. He looks around the room but no one speaks. Shrugs and continues his speech.] I can't believe you forgot the magazine. That's you. Do you know much about voodoo? That's a fascinating practice. No real doctrine of faith to speak of. More an arrangement of superstitions the most well-known of which is the voodoo doll. You see- -a mockup of an individual is subjected to various pokes and prods.The desired result is that the individual will feel those effects.

Whitland: [Loki throws a the knife into the phone] Call security, now!

Loki: All lines are currently down.

Bartleby: I'm gonna have to apologize.

Loki: -Would you knock it off?

Bartleby: [To the board room] You're doing it again. Stop. What did we talk about? Ahem. You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the First Commandment. More than that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year, you cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend... while you were supposed to be home watching the kids.

Loki: In the bed that you and your wife share, no less.

Bartleby: [addressing the only female board member; Whispers into Whitland's ear] Mr. Newman. You got your girlfriend drunk at last year's Christmas party and then paid a kid from the mail room to have sex with her while she was passed out just so you could break up with her guilt-free when she sobbingly confessed in the morning. She killed herself three months later. Mr. Brace disowned his gay son. Very compassionate. Mr. Ray put his mother in a third-rate nursing home and used the profits from the sale of her home to buy an Oriental rug for himself. Heavens. Mr. Barker flew to Thailand on the company account to have sex with an eleven-year-old boy. Mr. Holtzman okayed the production of Mooby Dolls from materials he knew to be toxic and unsafe because it was, survey says... less costly. You, on the other hand are an innocent. You lead a good life. Good for you. But you, Mr. Whitland. You have more skeletons in your closet than this assembled party. I cannot even mention them aloud.

Loki: You're his father, you sick fuck! - Good.-

Bartleby: Not bad, man.

Loki: That's great work.

Bartleby: [Walks out] Very good.

Loki: [smashes doll into table. The board scream in terror before realizing nothing's happened. Loki snickers; Loki exits the boardroom. The board members collect themselves, but then Loki re-enters with gun drawn; Opens fire] Well, alone at last. With the exception of Miss Pryce here there isn't a decent human being amongst you. Not one. Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power hiding behind your false idol,far from judgment lives shrouded in secrecy, even from one another. But not from God. (Walks off) Oh, forgot my little voodoo doll. Man, it really looks just like you, doesn't it? Look, if I believed enough in this... I wonder. Come on. I don't believe in voodoo. Voodoo. But I do believe in this!. DON'T RUN! DON'T RUN! FAKES! FAKES, ALL OF YOU FAKES! AND YOU! IN THE BED THAT YOU AND YOUR WIFE SHARE NO LESS!

Bartleby: [Reading Mooby magazine] But I do believe in this"... What does that mean?

Loki: [all but the innocent woman are dead; Points gun at her] Gum? Go on it's OK you've done nothing wrong, those guys were finks and you're a pure soul. But you didn't say God bless you when I sneezed.

Bartleby: LOKI!

Loki: You're getting off light.

Bartleby: Loki!

Loki: [walks off] I know, I'm coming. You're so lucky.