Memorable Quotes from Mark Nelson
5 quotesMisunderstandings Over Cannabis Among Friends
Officer Dorf
What you been smoking, boy?
Jack
Smoke? Don't smoke! Causes cancer.
Officer Dorf
You know what I mean! What, you just get off a spaceship or something? Come on, Colombian gold, man. Hash, grass, the weed, dig it?
Ned
Does he mean what I think he means?
Officer Dorf
Hey, don't get smart!
Ned
Me? I'm as dumb as they come.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Searching for the Town's Eccentric Character
Officer Dorf
Looking for someone. Guy named Ralph. Town crazy.
Ned
(acting silly with the stereotypical Native American gear on) Well, there's no crazy people around here!
Officer Dorf
I told you to sit on it, Tonto. Now, I got word that Ralph was out here, spouting his Gospel.
Bill
This guy, Ralph, is he dangerous or anything?
Officer Dorf
Every time that loony gets drunk, he gets his "calling." Then I spend the morning in court, and he gets a week in jail.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion About a Snake Encounter
Alice
(after Bill kills the snake) Is it dead?
Ned
Either that or it's got a very short clone.
Marcie
Well, at least we know what's for dinner.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ice Cream Flavors and Personalities
Ned
If you were a flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
Marcie
Rocky road.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Sensitivity in Humor and Its Missteps
Ned
(doing a rain-dance wearing a stereotypical Native American headdress on) I'm just kidding around, officer.
Officer Dorf
Can it, Cochise.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.