Martin Freeman Quotes

Bilbo Baggins I was going to tell you. I...found something in the goblin tunnels. ...My courage.

Arthur Dent This must be Thursday... I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Bilbo Baggins Truly you are mistaken, O Smaug, Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities.

Bilbo Baggins I was just saying, your reputation precedes you, O Smaug the Tyrannical. Truly, you have no equal on this earth.

Arthur Dent Humma Kavula" is a person? I thought he was swearing!

Met Sergeant Hello, Nicholas.

Nicholas Angel Hello, Sergeant.

Met Sergeant How's the hand?

Nicholas Angel Still a bit stiff.

Met Sergeant (sniffs deeply) It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job, that's what I did.

Nicholas Angel I like to think of my office as out on the street.

Met Sergeant Indeed you do. Your arrest record is... (opens a page on his desk with his right hand, reads from it) 400% higher than any other officer (closes page), which is high time such...skills were put to better use. We're making you Sergeant.

Nicholas Angel (grinning slightly) I see.

Met Sergeant (quickly and quietly) In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

Nicholas Angel In where, sorry?

Met Sergeant In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

Nicholas Angel (taking the new information in) That's... in the country.

Met Sergeant Yes, lovely.

Nicholas Angel Isn't there a Sergeant's position here in London?

Met Sergeant (laughs briefly) No.

Nicholas Angel Can I remain here as a PC?

Met Sergeant (throws his hands up in the air) No.

Nicholas Angel (sternly) Do I have any choice in this?

Met Sergeant Neewww.

Nicholas Angel Sergeant, I kinda like it here.

Met Sergeant Well, you've always wanted a transfer to the country.

Nicholas Angel In twenty years or so, yes.

Met Sergeant Well done you.

Nicholas Angel (thinks briefly) Hang on, I don't remember telling you that.

Met Sergeant Yes, you did. (He leans over to his desk) You said (He cocks his head to one side and opens a corner of a thick document on his desk; reading from the document, quickly and quietly) "I'd love to settle in the country sometime, Janine." (He closes his document and looks at Nicholas)

Nicholas Angel (Thinks carefully; sternly) I'd like to talk to the Inspector.

Met Sergeant (leans forward to his desk phone/intercom) You can speak to the Inspector, but I can assure you, he will tell you exactly the same thing as I have. (He picks up the desk phone handset with his left hand, throws it into his right hand, and uses his left hand to dial the Met Inspector's number)

Bilbo Baggins My dear Frodo, you asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it. I am old now, Frodo. I'm not the same hobbit as I once was. I think it is time for you to know what really happened. It began long ago in a land far away to the east, the like of which you will not find in the world today. There was the city of Dale, its markets known far and wide, full of the bounties of vine and vale, peaceful and prosperous. For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in Middle-earth; Erebor, stronghold of Thrór, King under the Mountain and mightiest of the Dwarf-lords. Thrór ruled with utter surety, never doubting his house would endure, for his line lay secure in the lives of his son and grandson. Ah, Frodo, Erebor! Built deep within the mountain itself, the beauty of this fortress city was legend. Its wealth lay in the earth, in precious gems hewn from rock and in great seams of gold running like rivers through stone. The skill of the Dwarves was unequaled, fashioning objects of great beauty out of diamond, emerald, ruby, and sapphire. Ever they delved deep, down into the dark and that is where they found it, the Heart of the Mountain! The Arkenstone. Thrór named it the King's Jewel. He took it as a sign, a sign that his right to rule was divine. All would pay homage to him, even the great Elven King, Thranduil. But the years of peace and plenty were not to last. Slowly, the days turned sour and the watchful nights closed in. Thrór's love of gold had grown too fierce. A sickness had begun to grow within him. It was a sickness of the mind. And where sickness thrives, bad things will follow. The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane coming down from the North; the pines on the mountain creaked and cracked in the hot, dry wind. It was a fire-drake from the North. Smaug had come! Such wanton death was dealt that day, for this city of Men was nothing to Smaug. His eye was set on another prize. For dragons covet gold with a dark and fierce desire. Erebor was lost - for a dragon will guard his plunder as long as he lives. Thranduil would not risk the lives of his kin against the wrath of the dragon. No help came from the Elves that day...or any day since. Robbed of their homeland, the Dwarves of Erebor wandered the wilderness. A once mighty people brought low. The young Dwarf prince took work where he could find it, laboring in the villages of Men. But always he remembered the mountain smoke beneath the moon, the trees like torches blazing bright, for he had seen dragon-fire in the sky and a city turned to ash. And he never forgave...and he never forgot.

Bilbo Baggins I'm going on an adventure!

Arthur Dent Go with the hunch of a man whose brain is fueled by lemons?!

Bilbo Baggins You've won the Mountain. Is that not enough?

Met Inspector (sliding into the desk, next to the Met Sergeant) Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?

Nicholas Angel It's still a bit stiff.

Met Inspector And how are things at home?

Nicholas Angel I'm sorry, sir?

Met Inspector (jovially) How's Janine?

Nicholas Angel We're no longer together, sir.

Met Inspector Right, well, then where are you living?

Met Sergeant (leans over to Met Inspector; quietly) He's staying at the Section House, sir.

Met Inspector With the recruits?

Met Sergeant (looks into Nicholas's eyes) Yes, he's living out of cardboard boxes.

Met Inspector Well then, you're packed already. Nicholas, we're offering you a smashing position with a delightful cottage in a lovely little place that has I think has won Village of the Year...I don't know how many times. It'll be good for you.

Nicholas Angel (beat, then) I...don't really know what to say.

Met Inspector Yes"?

Met Sergeant (arrogantly) "Yes, thank you"? (He laughs briefly.)

Nicholas Angel (shakes his head slowly) No, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...

Met Inspector You want to...take this higher? (points up)

Nicholas Angel (realising that's what he wants) Yes, yes, I do.

Met Inspector You want me to bother the Chief Inspector about this?

Nicholas Angel Yes.

Nicholas Angel Yes, I do.

Met Inspector Okay. Kenneth!

Bilbo Baggins I... I come from under the hill. And under hills and over hills my path has led. And through the air! I am he who walks unseen.

Bilbo Baggins I promised that I would do this, and I think that I must try.

Bilbo Baggins That, my dear Frodo, is where I come in, for quite by chance and the will of a Wizard, fate decided I would become part of this tale. It began...well, it began as you might expect. In a hole in a ground, there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole full of worms and oozy smells. This was a hobbit-hole and that means good food, a warm hearth, and all the comforts of home.

Bilbo Baggins If any of you ever pass through Bag End, tea is at four. There's plenty of it. You are welcome any time. Oh, uh...don't bother knocking.

Bilbo Baggins Truly the tales and songs fall utterly short of your enormity, O Smaug the stupendous...

Bilbo Baggins I know that dwarves can be obstinate and pigheaded and difficult. And suspicious and secretive, with the worst manners you can possibly imagine. But they are also brave and kind, and loyal to a fault. I've grown very fond of them, and I would save them if I can.

Bilbo Baggins Well, have you smelled them? You're going to need something a lot stronger than sage before you plate this lot up.

Chief Inspector I know what you're going to say, Nicholas, but the fact is you've been making us all look bad.

Nicholas Angel I'm sorry, sir?

Chief Inspector Of course, we all appreciate your efforts, but you've been rather letting the side down.

Met Inspector It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.

Met Sergeant You can't be the Sheriff of London.

Chief Inspector If we let you carry on running around town, you'll continue to be exceptional... and we can't have that. You'll put us all out of a job.

Nicholas Angel With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.

Chief Inspector Yyyes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector

Nicholas Angel Well, however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account... and that's what the team is gonna make of this!