Memorable Quotes from Marty Feldman
11 quotesDesperation Behind Locked Doors
Dr. Frankenstein
Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door!
Inga
Yes, Doctor.
Igor
Nice workin with ya.
[sarcastically]
Dr. Frankenstein
Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I WAS JOKING! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA HA HA! Jesus Christ, let me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! MOMMY!!!
[panicking, turns back to the door; turns to the Monster, then back to the door; sarcastically; begins pounding on the door; outside, Frau Blūcher stops Inga and Igor from trying to open the cell]
Frau Blucher
Nein!
[blocking the door as Inga and Igor again try to open the cell]
Dr. Frankenstein
Hello, handsome! You're a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because...they are JEALOUS! Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a GOD! And listen to me, you are not evil. You...are...GOOD! This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him! I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire!
[turns back to the Monster, deciding a different approach...; the Monster looks momentarily wrong-footed; the Monster starts to cry; he hugs him]
Inga
Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?!
[from outside]
Dr. Frankenstein
MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Loneliness and Unexpected Encounters in Frankenstein
Igor
I! I ain't got nobody, and nobody cares for me.
[singing; scatting]
Dr. Frankenstein
Igor!
Igor
Froadrick!
Dr. Frankenstein
How did you get here?
Igor
Through the dumbwaiter. I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and I just...followed it down. Call it...a hunch. Ba-dum SHI!
[does a rimshot]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion Over Werewolf Encounter
Inga
Werewolf!
Dr. Frankenstein
Werewolf?
Igor
There.
Dr. Frankenstein
What?
Igor
There, wolf. There, castle.
Dr. Frankenstein
Why are you talking that way?
Igor
I thought you wanted to.
Dr. Frankenstein
No, I don't want to.
Igor
Suit yourself. I'm easy.
[shrugs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenges of Creating a Giant Creature
Dr. Frankenstein
The minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed. I resolved therefore to make the Creature of gigantic stature." Of course, that would simplify everything.
[reading his grandfather's work]
Inga
In other words...his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frankenstein
Precisely.
Inga
He vould have an enormous schwanzschtücker.
[her eyes get wide]
Dr. Frankenstein
That goes without saying.
[ponders this a moment]
Inga
Woof.
Igor
He's going to be very popular.
[to the audience]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mispronunciation of a Name
Igor
Dr. Frankenstein?
Dr. Frankenstein
Fronkensteen.
Igor
You're putting me on.
Dr. Frankenstein
No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen.
Igor
Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frankenstein
No..."Frederick.
Igor
Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frankenstein
It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen.
Igor
I see.
Dr. Frankenstein
You must be Igor.
Igor
No, it's pronounced "eye-gor.
Dr. Frankenstein
But they told me it was "ee-gor.
Igor
Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Doctor Offers Unconventional Help
Dr. Frankenstein
You know, I don't mean to embarrass you, but I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.
Igor
]?
[[Ignorance|What hump]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Treasure Secrets and Trick Questions
Gilbert
Where did you hide the treasure, exactly?
Yellowbeard
You won't catch me with those trick questions.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Failure with Passionate Reactions
Dr. Frankenstein
Nothing.
[after failing to bring the creature to life]
Inga
Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry.
Dr. Frankenstein
No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace. SON OF A BITCH! BASTARD! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!
[begins walking away but then runs back and starts beating up the creature; furious]
Inga
Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him!
Dr. Frankenstein
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE! I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE!
[pounds on the creatures chest in rage before being restrained; whimpers]
Igor
].
[to the audience; [Hypocrisy|Quiet dignity and grace; rolls eyes]
Dr. Frankenstein
Oh...mama...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Bathroom Etiquette and Family Advice
Igor
You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him. The things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frankenstein
What did he say?
Igor
What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Brief Conversation Between Friends
Dr. Frankenstein
Igor, may I speak to you for a moment?
Igor
Of course.
Dr. Frankenstein
Sit down, won't you?
Igor
Thank you.
[sits on the floor]
Dr. Frankenstein
No no, up here.
Igor
Thank you.
[sits on a chair]
Dr. Frankenstein
Now...that ] that you gave me...was it Hans Delbruck's?
[[brain]
Igor
No.
[crosses arms]
Dr. Frankenstein
Ah. Good. Uh...would you mind telling me...whose brain...I did put in?
[holds up hand]
Igor
And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frankenstein
I will not be angry.
Igor
Abby...someone.
[shrugs]
Dr. Frankenstein
Abby someone? Abby who?
Igor
Abby Normal.
Dr. Frankenstein
Abby Normal?
[sotto]
Igor
I'm almost sure that was the name.
[he and Dr. Frankenstein laugh]
Dr. Frankenstein
Are you saying... that I put an abnormal brain... into a 7 and a half foot long...54- inch wide... ]?!?!?! ]?!?!
[slowly; stands; puts hand on Igor's hump; increasingly angry; grabs Igor by throat; [Gorilla|GORILLA; strangling Igor; [Stupidity|IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Take on Difficult Tasks
Dr. Frankenstein
What a filthy job!
Igor
Could be worse.
Dr. Frankenstein
How?
Igor
Could be raining.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.