Memorable Quotes from Mel Brooks
3 quotesRoyal Rights and Marital Customs
Rabbi Tuckman
Excuse me, King. Why, if you like this guy so much, do you object to his marrying Maid Marian?
King Richard
I have no objection, but I have not yet kissed the bride. It is a custom, and my royal right. Hold this, Father.
[hands the rabbi his sword]
Rabbi Tuckman
Rabbi.
King Richard
Whatever.
Rabbi Tuckman
It's good to be the king.
[impressed]
King Richard
Now... you may marry them!
[voice squeaking]
Rabbi Tuckman
Thank you. Here's your knife.
King Richard
Sword.
Rabbi Tuckman
Whatever.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Loan Denied to Hardworking Family
Spanky
Thank you my good man!
Mr. Welling
Six kids, hardworking father, honest and trustworthy. Loan...denied.
[writing]
Spanky
Hello, my good man.
Mr. Welling
Gentlemen, uh, have a seat.
Spanky
Can we sit down?
[to Froggy, who is holding him up under the coat]
Froggy
Are you kidding?
Spanky
We can't sit down my good man.
Mr. Welling
And what may I do for you?
Stymie
We wanna take out a hefty loan.
Mr. Welling
Course, of course. Do you have an account with us?
Stymie
And how!
[nods]
Mr. Welling
What is your account...number?
Spanky
Uh, seven.
Mr. Welling
Seven?...seven?
Froggy
Try eight.
Spanky
Eight?
Mr. Welling
Heard enough.
[pulls the fake beards on Stymie and Spanky]
Spanky and Stymie
Ouch!
Mr. Welling
If you were my kids, I'd punish you!
Mr. Welling
Leave the premises post haste!
Spanky
You can't treat people this way, Mister!
Mr. Welling
You're not people, you're kids!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encountering Robin Hood and His Merry Men
Robin Hood
You've just entered the territory of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.
Rabbi Tuckman
Faigelehs?
[makes a suggestive wave of his hand]
Robin Hood
No, no, we're straight, just merry.
Rabbi Tuckman
As I. And who are you, with the exceptionally long feather in your hat?
Robin Hood
I am Robin of Loxley.
Rabbi Tuckman
Robin of Loxley? I've just come from Maid Marian, the woman whose heart you've stolen, you prince of thieves, you! I knew her parents before they were taken in the plague, Lord and Lady Bahgel. You know, you two were made for each other. I mean, what a combination. Loxley and Bahgel! It can't miss!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.