Mel GibsonQuotes

Kurt: Did you touch the thermostat, did you turn it up?

Don: Well, of course not... did somebody fiddle with the thermostat?

Kurt: Yes, it's 85°!

Don: 85?

Kurt: 85!

Don: Do you have any idea how much even a few degrees can impact the gas bill?

Kurt: Of course, I do, it's unthinkable!

Brad: [walks in] Dad, Kurt, what's going on in here? Why is it so hot?

Don: Somebody fiddled with the thermostat!

Brad: What? Who would do that?

Kurt: [they hear a noise and look out in the hallway. Adrianna walks to the thermostat and starts to turn it up] What do you think you're doing?

Brad: It's roasting in here!

Adrianna: [matter-of-factly] I like to sleep with my window open.

Kurt: Hey, kid, are you allowed to touch the thermostat at your mom's house?

Adrianna: Pfft, duh!

Dusty: [joins the others in the hallway] What is going on?

Brad: Adrianna, she turned up the thermostat!

Kurt: Said she fiddles with the thermostat at your house any time she damn well pleases.

Don: [Dusty, speechless, just sighs] Dusty, is that true? Tell me that's not true! Oh, criminy, Dusty. You might as well give her your wallet and your 401k while you're at it!

Kurt: Brad, do you let the kids touch the thermostat at your house?

Brad: What, no! The thermostat is a sacred covenant! I can't believe we're even talking about this! This is *madness*!

Kurt: [to Dusty, referring to Brad] His total lack of masculinity, I mean his weak chin and soft underbelly bothers you not a bit?

Brad: [after camera zooms out, to show him sitting in a chair next to Kurt and Dusty] You know, I'm just getting the feeling maybe you guys would like some piracy.

Jerry Fletcher: I am an American citizen! I have a right to be here!

Alice Sutton: Officers! Officers, please! I'm Alice Sutton. I'll take it from here.

Jerry: [suddenly calm] Hi, Alice.

Alice: You need to start making appointments.

Jerry: Uh... can I make one now? Say, in a couple of minutes? I can wait if you're busy.

Alice: Come around.

Alice: I don't see the connection.

Jerry: You don't see the connection? Come on. Six major earthquakes in the last three-and-a-half years, and the space shuttle up in orbit for every single one of em. Don't you think that's a little strange?

Alice: Testing some top-secret seismic weapon?

Jerry: No, not testing. Using. Nukes are passé. We're talking weapon of the future.

Alice: Okay, but I still don't see what it has to do with the president.

Jerry: The president is in Europe at the moment, and tomorrow he'll be, uh, in Turkey. Right here, along this fault line. And they sent up a space shuttle yesterday.

Alice: Motive?

Jerry: Motive? How about fifty billion dollars, how's that for a motive? The president's cutting funding for NASA, the milk-cow of the aerospace industry. And that's a lot of milk.

Alice: Um, so... you're telling me that NASA is going to kill the president of the United States with an earthquake

Jerry: It's not the kind of thing a Secret Service agent can, like, just throw himself on top of, is it?

Alice: Now, I have to go. My boss is looking to yell at me.

Jerry: Oh. Do you want me to talk to him? You know, smooth things out for you?

Alice: No, Jerry. I want you to go home, or wherever it is that you go. And I want you to make an appointment next time. Please? You can't just keep bursting in here.

Jerry: That's... it's just what they'd be expecting me to do. If I make an appointment —

Alice: Jerry. I have a serious job here. I have a boss I must answer to. Do you understand that?

Jerry: I'm sorry. You're right.

Alice: Use your common sense.

Jerry: Okay. Okay, deal. So, are you gonna warn him?

Alice: Who?

Jerry: [exasperated sigh] The president.

Alice: I'm not gonna promise you anything, okay?

Jerry Fletcher: The sound of love.

Passenger: Excuse me?

Jerry: [imitates sigh] That, what you just did. That's love.

Passenger: Love's just a pretty way of saying, "I want to sleep with you.

Jerry: Admit it. I saw you kiss her. This is the street where love lives.

Passenger: Love is bullshit.

Jerry: Love give you wings. It makes you fly. I don't even call it love. I call it "Geronimo".

Passenger: Geronimo?

Jerry: Yeah, Geronimo. See, when you're in love, you'll jump off the Empire State and you won't care. Screaming, "Geronimo" all the way down. It's great.

Passenger: Yeah, but then you'll die. You'll squash yourself. So what's the point?

Jerry: Hey, aren't you listening? I'm telling you, man — love gives you wings!

Passenger: [laughs] She must be some girl.

Jerry Fletcher: It's on the tip of my brain.

Jerry Fletcher: Alice? I... I'm sorry you're dead.

Jerry Fletcher: A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.

Jerry Fletcher: You're after a man with no nose, not me! Not me!

Jerry Fletcher: They, they start when you're young, you know, in school. They Baden-Powell all the boys and-and they Betty Crocker all the girls!

Jerry Fletcher: I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.

Jerry Fletcher: Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?

Jerry Fletcher: Black helicopters, right? You've heard about them, black helicopters? Yeah, they're on, they're on whisper mode, so you can't hear em till they've already gone! You know?

Jerry Fletcher: Is that one of those new hundreds? You know, where they changed the picture of Ben Franklin? Look at him, yeah. He looks like the love child of-of, uh, Fred Mertz and Rosie O'Donnell! Yeah, that's him, yeah. Get rid of it as soon as you can, lady. Look at it up in the light. You see that metal strip? That's a tracking device!

Jerry Fletcher: Hey, don't get me wrong, Sister, I'm sure your heart's in the right place, okay? But somebody's gotta lift the scab, the festering scab, that is the Vatican. (to a nun riding in his cab)

Jerry Fletcher: George Bush knew what he was doing when he said, "New World Order". Remember those three little words, "New World Order"? Well, he was a thirty-third degree Mason, you know, and as ex-head of the C.I.A., he knew saying that would send conspiratologists everywhere spinning, spinning their wheels. And then, then, th-they destroy their own credibility!

Jerry Fletcher: I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton.

Jerry Fletcher: Websites, newsletters, uh, self-published manifestos... they think we're kooks!

Jerry Fletcher: [[w:Lee Harvey Oswald|Oswald] ]. Yeah, Oswald, that's what I said, Oswald. I mean, he said, "I'm just a patsy." And that means he didn't do it, right?

Jerry Fletcher: You ever wonder about these militia groups? Survivalist-type kooks on the right wing side? They say they're defending the country from U.N. troops. These guys are yelling so loud, my theory is that this is a conspiracy, pal — they ARE the U.N. troops, and they're in place. The infrastructure's ready, it's a fait accompli. When the time comes, they'll just take over and we'll all be toast.

Jerry Fletcher: You know what they put in the water, don't you? Fluoride. Yeah, fluoride — on the pretext that it strengthens your teeth! That's ridiculous. You know what that stuff does to you? It weakens your will, destroys your capacity for free and creative thought, and makes you a slave to the state!

Tom Mullen: [phone ring. Tom answers] What?

Detective Jimmy Shaker: You want to talk to your son?

Tom Mullen: Yes, of course I do.

Sean Mullen: [Jimmy puts phone up to Sean's mouth] Daddy? Dad?

Tom Mullen: Sean. Sean. How ar— son...

Kate Mullen: I want to listen.

Detective Jimmy Shaker: That's enough.

Tom Mullen: No, put him back on, I want to talk to him.

Detective Jimmy Shaker: You just did. Now, you listen, real, real good. You've got one more chance to pay up, or you're never gonna talk to him again. No more fucking around. This is it. Right now. What's it gonna be?

Tom Mullen: ...No. This is bullshit. You're not gonna touch him. You can't be that stupid. Do you have any idea the rain of shit I can put on you?

Detective Jimmy Shaker: Look at your wife. Look at her face, motherfucker. Do you know what I can do to your boy?

Tom Mullen: Is it dark where you're calling from? Got the shades drawn? Kind of like a cellar, right? Like a cave? Well, you better get used to that. You better get used to crawling in the dark for the rest of your days, because I am gonna get the best group of manhunters in this country, and I am gonna dedicate my life to tracking you down.

Detective Jimmy Shaker: Hey, hey, get your head out of your ass! You think you can threaten me, huh? Who do you think you're dealing with? GIMME THE MONEY!

Tom Mullen: Fuck you and your two million! Don't you understand English, you useless piece of shit? No money! None!

Detective Jimmy Shaker: Let me tell you something. You think you're suffering now, huh? You got no idea what suffering is. If I don't get the cash in one hour, this kid is dead!

Tom Mullen: I don't get my son back, and I mean real soon, you better kill yourself, because when I catch up with you, I'm gonna take my goddamn time. By the time we're finished, you're gonna wish you weren't born! I'll have your head on a fucking pike, do you understand me?

Detective Jimmy Shaker: Fuck you! I'll fucking kill him right now!

Kate Mullen: I want to talk!

Tom Mullen: You kill him, you kill yourself, you motherfucker! GIVE ME BACK MY SON!

Kate Mullen: Hello?!

Detective Jimmy Shaker: : YOU WANT HIM?

Tom Mullen: YES!

Detective Jimmy Shaker: YOU WANT HIM?

Sean Mullen: Daddy!

Tom Mullen: Why would they ever let my son go, no matter what I do? I mean, no matter what I do... pay, don't pay, comply, tell him to go fuck himself - why would they give him back? I mean, he's a witness any way you cut it. It's all bullshit, it's all just... seven out of ten.

Kate Mullen: What are you saying?

Tom Mullen: All right: Morlock Man gets his money, I don't think we'll ever see Sean again. That's if he's still alive to begin with.

Agent Lonnie Hawkins: Whoa, now. Are you talking about not paying?

Kate Mullen: No! No, we pay him!

Tom Mullen: Now wait a minute. Listen to me... Morlock man says the pickup guy will give me an address for Sean. I get there, the guy sticks a gun in my face. I said, "You want the money, now give me the address? Where's the address?" You should've seen his face. He had no, absolutely NO idea what I was talking about. None!

Agent Lonnie Hawkins: Okay...

Tom Mullen: This is not business to him. This is very personal.

Agent Lonnie Hawkins: I tell you that everybody pays, and we get back 7 out of 10.

Tom Mullen: If we give him what he wants, he will kill Sean!

Agent Lonnie Hawkins: Tom, you've got to play the odds, man. I've been doing this for eighteen years, and if I were a betting man, I would bet on the people who pay every time, out of the gate.

Tom Mullen: Did you bet on the ones where you got back a corpse?

Tom Mullen: [to Cubby who's been shot] What is it? Come on, what is it? A name. I swear if you tell me, I'll make sure you get the best funeral there is.

Tom Mullen: [on live TV] The whole world now knows... my son, Sean Mullen, was kidnapped, for ransom, three days ago. This is a recent photograph of him. Sean, if you're watching, we love you. And this... well, this is what waits for the man that took him. This is your ransom. Two million dollars in unmarked bills, just like you wanted. But this is as close as you'll ever get to it. You'll never see one dollar of this money, because no ransom will ever be paid for my son. Not one dime, not one penny. Instead, I'm offering this money as a reward on your head. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter. So congratulations, you've just become a two million dollar lottery ticket... except the odds are much, much better. Do you know anyone that wouldn't turn you in for two million dollars? I don't think you do. I doubt it. So wherever you go and whatever you do, this money will be tracking you down for all time. And to ensure that it does, to keep interest alive, I'm running a full-page ad in every major newspaper every Sunday... for as long as it takes. But... and this is your last chance... you return my son, alive, uninjured, I'll withdraw the bounty. With any luck you can simply disappear. Understand... you will never see this money. Not one dollar. So you still have a chance to do the right thing. If you don't, well, then, God be with you, because nobody else on this Earth will be.

Tom Mullen: You kill him, you kill yourself, you motherfucker! GIVE ME BACK MY SON!!!

Dixie: Since I wasn't officially in the band, you know how it goes, it ain't easy.

Detective Skinner: Yeah, sure. That's not exactly why I'm here. Israel Goldkiss was pushed from the roof. That makes you a suspect.

Dixie: Jesus bleeding Christ! Are you paying attention? I'm talking The Beatles, here. The Fab Four. John understood. That's why they had him killed, you know? Now they're trying to kill me, because they finally realised who's behind all those songs. But I ain't seen no royalties.

Detective Skinner: Yeah, that's tough. But either you cooperate, or I book you.

Dixie: I've been doing nothing but cooperate my whole fucking life. That's what it's all about to be in a band. I'm not saying they weren't creatively involved... but most of the time, they were off with that Maharishi. You know, India, whatever, you know. There I was, all alone in the studio with my brilliant ideas... Thank God I had George Martin. George... Oh, that album in particular, we grew together like this, me and George.

Detective Skinner: Special Agent Skinner. I'm a detective.

Dixie: You got some Oragel? This fucking cavity's going into my brain. Morphine, Motrin, Tylenol, anything? Come on, you call yourself a dentist?

Detective Skinner: Detective. Teeth, gums, gingivitis are out of my line.

Frank Dunne: [to Archy] The thing I can't stand about you, mate, is you're always so bloody cheerful.

Martin Riggs: Hey, you know what?

Roger Murtaugh: Hey, Riggs!

Martin Riggs: Yo.

Roger Murtaugh: After all we've been through, if you think I'm gonna eat the world's lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you're crazy.

Martin Riggs: Well, I have news for you, Rog.

Roger Murtaugh: What?

Martin Riggs: I'm not crazy.

Roger Murtaugh: I know.

Martin Riggs: Well, good. Let's eat.

Martin Riggs: How about it, Jack? Would you like a shot at the title?

Mr. Joshua: Don't mind if I do.

Martin Riggs: [''real tough''] I want your title.

Mr. Joshua: [''smirks''] Okay.

General Peter McAllister: Kill the son of a bitch!

Martin Riggs: Who's fucking next?! McAllister! Who's next?!

Mr. Joshua: [''Endo does''] Hit him again.

Mr. Joshua: [''Endo hits him again for longer''] Hit him again.

Mr. Joshua: Come on! Tell me about the shipment!

Martin Riggs: [''yells and spouts gibberish, then spits at Endo, lunges at Joshua''] I swear I'm gonna fucking kill the both of you!

Mr. Joshua: Yeah, yeah, very funny. Now what about the shipment?

Martin Riggs: You know they're gonna kill her, don't you?

Roger Murtaugh: Yeah.

Martin Riggs: So, if you want her back, you're gonna have to take her away from them.

Roger Murtaugh: I know.

Martin Riggs: You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot to kill, get as many of them as you can. All you gotta do is just not miss.

Roger Murtaugh: I won't miss.

Martin Riggs: We're gonna get bloody on this one, Rog.

Roger Murtaugh: Are you really crazy... or are you as good as you say you are?

Martin Riggs: You're gonna have to trust me.

Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same Albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker!

Roger Murtaugh: You sure?

Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.

Roger Murtaugh: Listen, sorry about all that shit I was in your face about earlier... you saved my life. Thank you.

Martin Riggs: Oh, I bet that hurt to say.

Roger Murtaugh: [''chuckles''] You'll never know.

Roger Murtaugh: [Riggs enters, Murtaugh throws the door shut, but the door swings the other way] GET IN HERE!!

Roger Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?

Martin Riggs: Oh, for Christ-...

Roger Murtaugh: SHUT UP! Yes or no - you wanna die?!

Martin Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell--

Roger Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Martin Riggs: Well, what do you wanna hear, man?! Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin a bullet?! HUH!? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it?! This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it?! The job! Doin the job! Now that's the reason!

Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?

Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.

Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.

Martin Riggs: What did he mean back there when he said you owed him?

Roger Murtaugh: We served together in 65. la Drang Valley. Saved my life. Took a bayonet in the lungs.

Martin Riggs: That was nice of him.

Martin Riggs: Hey, look friend, let's just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.

Roger Murtaugh: Guess what?

Martin Riggs: What?

Roger Murtaugh: I don't want to work with you!

Martin Riggs: Hey, don't.

Roger Murtaugh: Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both been fucked!

Martin Riggs: Terrific.

Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is.

Martin Riggs: Hate Him back; it works for me.

Martin Riggs: [after rescuing Murtaugh and Rianne] What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here.

Martin Riggs: Maybe there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department?

Martin Riggs: [Riggs and Murtaugh go to a bust at a "rich house"] Saw this on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless.

Martin Riggs: Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present.

Martin Riggs: [holding his wife's wedding photograph, sniffling, after deciding not to kill himself; cries; sobs, then sighs and sniffles; 6 seconds later; throws wedding photograph on the floor] I miss you... Victoria Lynn. Hey, that's silly, isn't it? I'll see you later. I'll see you much later.

Martin Riggs: I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves.

Martin Riggs: Now that's a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun!

Bret Maverick: Lord... whatever I've done to piss you off... if you could just get me out of this and somehow let me know what it was I promise to rectify the situation.

Bret Maverick: From the moment I slapped eyes on this hombre, I smelled trouble. And re-fried beans.

Max Rockatansky: I just can't get it clear in my head, Jess. He was so full of living, you know? He ran a franchise on it. Now there's nothing. And here I am trying to put sense to it, when I know there isn't any.

Colonel William Tavington: Kill me before the war is over, will you? It appears you are not the better man.

Benjamin Martin: [picks up a loose bayonet…; …and slits Tavington's throat with it] You're right. My sons were better men.

Benjamin Martin: How old were your daughters?

Major Jean Villeneuve: Juliette was 12. And Pauline, 10. They had green eyes.

Benjamin Martin: I'm sure they were lovely.

Major Jean Villeneuve: Yes…they were.

Col. Harry Burwell: [referring to Gabriel, who was just killed by Tavington] I'll help you bury him.

Benjamin Martin: I'll bury him.

Col. Harry Burwell: My wife Alexandria is with child, my first. I fight for that child. Benjamin, nothing will replace your sons, but if you come with us you can justify their sacrifice.

Benjamin Martin: [voice trails off] Why?… Why do men feel they can justify death? Is it arrogance or… I have long feared, that my sins would return to visit me. And the cost is more than I can bear.

Col. Harry Burwell: [[w:Nathanael Greene|Greene; [w:Daniel Morgan|Dan Morgan] Benjamin, we have a chance. ] and ] are down from Virginia. If we win this next battle, victory in the war is within our grasp.

Benjamin Martin: Go then, seek your victory. I'm a small issue to it.

Col. Harry Burwell: You're wrong, Benjamin. You matter to your men, and to others as well. Your victories and... and your losses, are shared by more than you know. Stay with us. Stay the course!

Benjamin Martin: I have run my course.

Colonel William Tavington: General, what is this?

Brigadier General O'Hara: Prisoner exchange. He has eighteen of our officers.

Colonel William Tavington: Who is he? I recognize him.

Brigadier General O'Hara: [''Tavington draws his sword and advances on Martin.''] He is the commander of the militia. Your "Ghost". Stay that sword, Colonel! He rode in under a white flag for formal parley.

Colonel William Tavington: This is madness.

Brigadier General O'Hara: If you harm him, you condemn our officers.

Colonel William Tavington: General, with respect, sir, he's killed as many officers in the last two months.

Brigadier General O'Hara: He has shown no aggression here. Hence he cannot be touched.

Colonel William Tavington: [to Martin; ''Martin turns around''; ''Martin walks up to him''] Has he not? You! So you're the Ghost, are you? I remember you! On that farm, and that stupid little boy! Did he die? Hm? You know, it's an ugly business, doing one's duty. But just occasionally... it's a real pleasure.

Benjamin Martin: ...Before this war is over, I'm going to kill you.

Colonel William Tavington: Why wait?

Benjamin Martin: Soon.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: Now we come to the matter of specific targeting of officers during engagements. You must know that in civilized warfare, officers in the field must not be accorded inappropriate levels of hostile attention.

Benjamin Martin: To your opinion, what are appropriate levels of hostile attention?

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: Colonel, imagine the utter chaos that would follow from leaderless armies having at each other. There must be gentlemen to command, lead, and- and, where necessary, restrain their men.

Benjamin Martin: Restrain them from, say, targeting civilians. Women, children and such.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: That's a separate issue.

Benjamin Martin: No, no. I consider them linked. And as long as your soldiers attack civilians, I will order the shooting of officers at the outset of every engagement. And my men are excellent marksmen.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: Very well. Now, let us move on to...

Benjamin Martin: Prisoner exchange.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: Sir?

Benjamin Martin: You have eighteen of my men. I want them back.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: I-I hold eighteen criminals under sentence of death, but I hold no prisoners of war.

Benjamin Martin: If that's your position, eighteen of your officers will have to die. Nineteen, if you hang me with my men.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: My officers?

Benjamin Martin: Top of the ridge, to your left. Just below the tree line.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: Their names and ranks?

Benjamin Martin: They refused to give me their names, but the ranks are nine lieutenants, five captains, three majors, and one very fat colonel who called me a... "cheeky fellow.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: You know, this is not the conduct of a gentleman.

Benjamin Martin: [Pauses] If the conduct of your officers is the measure of a gentleman, I'll take that as a compliment. Get my men.

Lieutenant General Cornwallis: [To O'Hara] Arrange the exchange.

Brigadier General O'Hara: My lord.

Benjamin Martin: [[w:Battle of Camden|Camden; [w:Siege of Charleston|Charleston] I've just read into the mind of a genius. Cornwallis knows more about war then any of us could ever hope to learn in a dozen lifetimes. His victories at ] and ] were perfect. Perfect. The thing is, he knows that... and perhaps that's his weakness.

Gabriel Martin: Sir?

Benjamin Martin: Pride. Pride's a weakness.

Major Jean Villeneuve: Personally, I would prefer stupidity.

Benjamin Martin: Pride will do.

Benjamin Martin: In the future, full quarter will be given to British wounded and any who surrender.

Major Jean Villeneuve: The British men of war gave no such quarter when they fired on a ship carrying my wife and daughters. I watched from 200 yards off as they were burned alive.

Benjamin Martin: You have my sympathy, but my order stands.

Major Jean Villeneuve: Damn your sympathy! Who are you to give such an order? I know what you and your men did to my countrymen at Fort Wilderness.

Benjamin Martin: We are militia. This is not regular army. Every man here is free to come and go as he pleases, but while you are here, you will obey my command or I will have you shot.

Benjamin Martin: [[w:George III|one tyrant; [w:Continental Congress|3000 tyrants] Would you tell me please, Mr. Howard, why should I trade ] 3000 miles away, for ] one mile away? An elected legislature can trample a man's rights as easily as a king can.

Lt. Col. Hal Moore: [[w:Crazy Horse|Crazy Horse; Moore goes aside with new radio operator] When ] was a baby, he nursed at the breast of every woman in the tribe. The Sioux raised their children that way. Every warrior called every woman in the tribe "Mother". Every older warrior, they called him "Grandfather". Now, the point here is that they fought as a family. Take care of your men. Teach them to take care of each other. Cause when this starts... each other is all we're gonna have.

CSM Plumley: Any of you sons-of-bitches calls me "Grandpa"... I'll kill ya.

Lt. Col. Hal Moore: Neither the new technology nor your status as officers will keep you above the danger. Sergeant Major Plumley and I come from the paratroopers, where the officer is always the first man out of the plane. Because to follow your instincts and inspire your men by your example, you have to be with them — where the metal meets the meat...Now, I hope you men like training, cause me and the Sergeant Major... we love it!

Lt. Col. Hal Moore: [addressing his troops on the parade ground.] Look around you. In the Seventh Cavalry, we got a captain from the Ukraine. Another from Puerto Rico. We've got Japanese, Chinese, blacks, Hispanics, Cherokee Indians, Jews and gentiles — all Americans. Now, here in the States, some men in this unit may experience discrimination because of race or creed. But for you and me now, all that is gone. We're moving into the Valley of the Shadow of Death, where you will watch the back of the man next to you, as he will watch yours. And you won't care what color he is or by what name he calls God. They say we're leaving home. We're going to what home was always supposed to be. I can't promise that I will bring you all home alive. But this I swear before you and before Almighty God: that when we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off. And I will leave no one behind. Dead or alive, we will all come home together. So help me God.

Nick Marshall: I don't want that to be it. I don't want that to be it at all.

Nick Marshall: [presenting the Nike ad to their executives, providing the narration for the ad, with Darcy and Wanamaker observing] You don't stand in front of a mirror before a run and wonder what the road will think of your outfit. You don't have to listen to its jokes and pretend that they're funny in order to run on it. It would not be easier to run if you dressed sexier. The road doesn't notice if you're not wearing lipstick, does not care how old you are. You do not feel uncomfortable because you make more money than the road. And you can call on the road whenever you feel like it, whether it's been a day or even a couple of hours since your last date. The only thing the road cares about...is that you pay it a visit once in a while. Nike: No games, just sports.

Nick Marshall: You know that whole deal about "penis envy"? Not true. No. Half of women don't even like it. You know who has penis envy? We do. That's why we cheat and we lie, because we're all obsessed with our own equipment!

Nick Marshall: Why do guys like to do it in front of a mirror? Because "objects appear larger than they actually are".

Nick Marshall: [After going through a painful attempt to wax his leg hair] Women are insane. Who would do that more than once? ...Why would they do the other leg?

Nick Marshall: [Drunkedly singing along with the song [[w:Bitch (Meredith Wilson song)|Bitch] ] ] I'm a bitch, I'm a mother, I'm a brother, it's confusing, as I volumize my hair, and I am not aware...

Nick Marshall: [Examining the contents of the box that Darcy gave to find inspiration; Reaches into the box and pulls out..; Closes his eyes; Sniffs the lipstick; His eyes shoot open] Nobody panic, this is supposed to be fun." Alright, I can do this, I'm a professional. Lipstick, alright. Lipstick on a guy's collar? No, women will hate that. Lipstick on a guy's collar that won't rub off. No, that's much worse. Okay, I need to start thinking like a broad. Alright, I'm a broad. I see lipstick... on a dark-haired Tahitian beauty standing under a waterfall, wearing nothing but a thong, and water cascading down her back- I'm a lesbian!

Nick Marshall: There's way too much estrogen on TV these days.

Nick Marshall: [Imitating Sean Connery from [[The Hunt for Red October (film)|The Hunt for Red October] ] ] "Adver-sary?" Surely, you mean "adversary", old boy?

Nick Marshall: You know what's the difference between a wife and a job? After fifteen years, a job still sucks.

Martin Riggs: [Injured, being held by Murtaugh, he hears sirens approaching] Give us a kiss before they come.

Martin Riggs: No, man. I didn't die on your toilet, I'm not gonna die in your arms.

Martin Riggs: I’m not a cop tonight, Roger, it’s personal. I’m not a cop.

Martin Riggs: [Crazy giggle] I’m surprised you haven't heard about me, you know, I got a bad reputation, sometimes I just go nuts, like now.

Martin Riggs: Don’t bother to call the police, I'm here already.

Martin Riggs: I’m a Peeping Tom, Rog, it goes with the badge. And it's fun sometimes, too.

Martin Riggs: We're back, we're bad. You're black, I'm mad. Let’s go!

Martin Riggs: [While hanging onto the hood of a car] I'd like to see your driver's license and proof of insurance!

William: You know, eventually Longshanks will send his whole Northern Army against us.

Campbell: Heavy cavalry, armored horse; shake the very ground.

Hamish: They'll ride right over us.

William: Uncle Argyle used to talk about it; how no army had ever stood up to a charge of heavy horse.

Hamish: So what'll we do?

Campbell: Run, hide, the highland way.

William: [looking at the trees] We'll make spears. Hundreds of them! Long spears, twice as long as a man.

Hamish: That long?

William Wallace: Aye.

Hamish: Some men are longer than others.

Campbell: Your mother been telling you stories about me again, eh?

Martin Riggs: You have the right to remain unconscious. Anything you say ain't gonna be much.

Martin Riggs: We can't shoot a dog. People? Okay, but not dogs.