Melanie GriffithQuotes

Ed Leland: [she lights a cigarette] When did you start smoking?

Linda Voss: I don't know.

Ed Leland: That was a silly thing to do, don't you think?

Linda Voss: I'm a silly girl, Ed. I think you're living proof of that.

Franze-Otto Dietrich: [from car to Linda Voss who is walking alone and has just been fired by Horst Drescher] It's me, ze zoup.

Franze-Otto Dietrich: He dismissed you?

Linda Voss: Yes.

Franze-Otto Dietrich: Ze doves were raw.

Linda Voss: I had no time, I arrived at 6:00.

Franze-Otto Dietrich: [talking to Linda Voss about Horst Drescher and the dinner for raw dove] He ate ze whole thing to pwove it was edible.

Franze-Otto Dietrich: You should have seen him. Pompous little ass. Eating a raw bird.

Linda Voss: If you don't let me go, I'll quit!

Ed Leland: I'll miss you.

Ed Leland: [seeing Linda for the first time in six months after their passionate affair, and he has come strolling in with a stunning burnette] You can come to work for me while I'm here, I can always use a good secretary.

Linda Voss: This is all so civilized, Edward. That's what you like isn't, it? Civilized people, polite ladies with pedigrees who look good at the opera, and never make you laugh too hard, and never make you feel too much. I've had a lot of time to think about this and don't tell me it's the war, when I've been waiting for six months to hear whether you're dead or alive and you waltz into a nightclub.

Ed Leland: Linda, I came in last night and I was going to call you.

Linda Voss: Oh, go to hell.

Linda Voss: Careful, Ed. You might have to admit you know me.

Ed Leland: Linda, it is the war.

Linda Voss: You're so noble, Ed.

Ed Leland: Did I promise you something? If I did, I'd like to know.

Army SSG in Canteen: Excuse me, sir. I thought the young lady might like to dance.

Ed Leland: The lady is busy.

Linda Voss: I'd love to dance.

Ed Leland: I'm cutting in.

Linda Voss: Don't let him.

Army SSG in Canteen: Excuse me, sir. But I don't think the young lady wants to dance with you.

Ed Leland: Don't try it, or I'll leave here with your Adam's Apple in my pocket.

Linda Voss: What do you want from me?

Ed Leland: I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Linda Voss: No, you want me to stop feeling, like you... You didn't love me, didn't you? I could have been wrong.

Ed Leland: You weren't.

Linda Voss: Well then. How do you stop, or want to?

Ed Leland: What I was going to ask you to do is stand up, turn around, and close your eyes and tell me everything you see in the room. It's an observation test. Do you really have a problem with that?

Linda Voss: Pictures of sailboats and polo ponies; fancy books and diplomas; stuffed fish on the wall; calendar set to the wrong date; bookcases that need dusting; carpets that need cleaning; and a couple of guys from Harvard who are surprised that a girl who needs a job won't be treated like a slave.

Billie Dawn: Men are unbelievable. I give and give and give and it's like wallpaper to you. You just walk right past it. Then you make one effort and you think we're equal. It only looks like a big effort because you never made one before.

Billie Dawn: You got money, Harry, but you got a cheap life.

Billie Dawn: How come I feel like I don't fit in any more? Tell me why am I so unhappy with everything that I used to want.

Billie Dawn: [''pulls out a pocket dictionary and looks up a word''] You know what your problem is, Harry? You're not just rude, you're......"flagrant" about it!

Billie Dawn: Did you teach me to cheat cause you think I can't learn?

Billie Dawn: Oh, don't worry about him. He's too busy being a big man.

Billie Dawn: You know how when somebody dies, it's OK to feel sad, but then at other times, when you're supposed to be happy and you feel sad, it's worse than the times when you're allowed to be sad?

Honey Whitlock: Ow Rodney, why do you have to hurt me? Gay men are supposed to be gentle!

Rodney: That's just it, Honey, I'm not gay. I'm straight and I fucking hate it! Petey loves me and I can't love him back. I tried. I kiss him, and all I feel is whiskers. I can't take that certain thickness in his pants. I'm ashamed of my heterosexuality!

Raven: My father is Zozo, the three-headed guard dog at the gates of Hell.

Honey Whitlock: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Honey Whitlock: How can you be a drug addict in the new millennium? It's so retro.

Lyle: Before I was a drug addict, I had so many different problems. Now I just have one: drugs. Gave my life real focus.

Honey Whitlock: Ow ow ow ow ow ow OW! I don't want to be blonde!

Rodney: You're going off the deep end of the Clairol color chart!

Honey Whitlock: A WHITE fucking LIMOUSINE?!

Libby: Nobody will know, we're in Baltimore!

Honey Whitlock: Do I look like Liberace's god-damn boyfriend for Christ sake? I have black limousine only in my contract!

Libby: The charity probably made the arrangement, it was a honest mistake.

Honey Whitlock: Do I look like a coke dealer?!

Libby: No, Ms. Whitlock.

Honey Whitlock: Do I look like I am going to the FUCKING PROM?!

Honey Whitlock: Libby, do you think that Pat Nixon got fucked in this hotel room?

Libby: What?

Honey Whitlock: It is called the Presidential Suite, isn't it?

Libby: Yes, but...

Honey Whitlock: I bet she did. Call the manager and ask him.

Libby: I can't ask that! Pat Nixon was a stroke victim!

Honey Whitlock: I believe it is your job to ask, is it not? Now call downstairs and ask the manager if Pat Nixon got fucked in my hotel room. I want to know.

Honey Whitlock: Look at this dump of a town. Get me the fuck back to LA, God, if one more asshole mentions a crab cake to me I'm going to puke.

Libby: Well did you try the steamed crabs, they're red and really... tasty.

Honey Whitlock: No, I did not! I'm not interested in any kind of meal that you have to beat with a fucking mallet wearing some stupid kind of little bib!

Honey Whitlock: Family is just a dirty word for censorship!

Jerry: It'll sure be great seeing him after three years!

Melanie: Yeah! I couldn't believe how fast he split for Africa after he got his grant, and the zoo let him take the little cubs he raised.

John: [chuckles] You'd think he'd take the kids he raised!

Reverend Bacon: [about the incident with Henry Lamb] This is a tragedy! A fine young man has been struck down. God- fearing, church-going, never in trouble, graduating from high school, ready for college - and somebody comes along - some rich white people in a rich white man's car and wham! They run him down and never even stop. Now what are we going to do about these parking tickets?

Judy McCoy: [pause] I'm leaving you! After the party... and now, if you will excuse me, we have guests.

Sir Gerald Moore: I was at dinner last evening, and halfway through the pudding, this four-year-old child came alone, dragging a little toy cart. And on the cart was a fresh turd. Her own, I suppose. The parents just shook their heads and smiled. I've made a big investment in you, Peter. Time and money, and it's not working. Now, I could just shake my head and smile. But in my house, when a turd appears, we throw it out. We dispose of it. We flush it away. We don't put it on the table and call it caviar.

Maria Ruskin: [when she and Sherman end up in Bronx] Sherman... where are all the white people?

Nicole Oliver: I can't have sex with you! My body belongs to my husband and there is no way that I could betray him in that way. But what I do from the neck up is a different story.

Jake Scully: Do you understand?

Holly Body: Yes, I understand. I understand you're sick and you're a liar and you need professional help, and I do not like being yelled at.

Jake Scully: I'm sorry.

Holly Body: I should have known the minute you told me I had a terrific smile, no real porn producer would tell me that in a million years.

Jake Scully: Holly, just come with me to the police.

Holly Body: The police? Are you crazy? You listen to me, you weirdo. I'm gonna leave now and don't try to follow me home because I have friends who will break your legs!

Jake Scully: The truth is a woman was murdered.

Jake Scully: Holly, it's not funny a woman was murdered! Look, you and I were set up by a murderer! He wanted to be sure that I witnessed the murder, that's why he hired you to do your routine. He wanted to make sure that I was watching and that I would keep watching. Holly are you listening to me?

Holly Body: Yes. I don't understand what you said.

Jake Scully: WELL LISTEN HE'S A MURDERER, THE MAN WHO HIRED YOU IS A MURDERER.

Jake Scully: I'm not a film producer or a rich kid.

Holly Body: No, you're a jerk!

Jake Scully: You're fantastic. Really. Sensational. And I'll tell you something else. You've got a terrific...

Holly Body: Body.

Jake Scully: Smile.

Holly Body: Smile?

Jake Scully: [to Holly after shooting a scene together in an adult film] You were great out there. I'll buy you a drink.

Holly Body: A drink? I don't even know you.

Jake Scully: I like to watch.

Holly Body: Makes you hot, doesn't it?

Jake Scully: Yeah.

Holly Body: Makes me hot too. Why don't you come over here and I'll show you how hot?

Holly Body: Weirdo, so many weird people I should never have moved to Hollywood! Fucking freaky actors, that's what there is here. Masochistic directors! I should have known when he didn't even know what a cumshot was.

Holly Body: I do not do animal acts. I do not do S&M or any variations of that particular bent, no water sports either. I will not shave my pussy, no fistfucking and absolutely no coming in my face. I get $2000 a day and I do not work without a contract.

Amy: Patty?

Patty Palmer: Yeah?

Amy: Do you mind if I ask you why you're selling? I mean, you've done so much to this place. You've obviously put your heart in it.

Patty Palmer: No, not really. It was just an investment.

Lieutenant Lou Baker: I recognized the name on the report.

Sergeant Bobby Amato: You two know each other?

Lieutenant Lou Baker: Bobby, why don't you take these upstairs, see if we can get a running start on where this cretin might fence the appliances.

Sergeant Bobby Amato: Sure thing, Lieutenant.

Lieutenant Lou Baker: [Amato leave] Thank you. I guess you're wishing now you'd rented to the Black man.

Patty Palmer: You never brought back your application.

Lieutenant Lou Baker: Oh, I brought it back.

Patty Palmer: I never got it.

Lieutenant Lou Baker: Uh-huh. The Porsche in your garage was leased. Hayes made one payment, put stolen plates on it. They've been looking for him ever since. I sent a tow to haul away what's left of It.

Patty Palmer: He shot my boyfriend.

Lieutenant Lou Baker: I know. You're lucky he didn't kill him. This is a sick individual, Miss Palmer. Be grateful he's out of your life. Right now, you don't mean a thing to him. Leave it that way. If he's gonna get caught, we'll capture him.

Patty Palmer: He shot my boyfriend. My boyfriend is in the hospital. He destroyed our property. There are lawsuits, there's the foreclosure. I had a miscarriage. And you're telling me to forget about him?

Lieutenant Lou Baker: Next time, maybe he ain't so lucky. Next time, maybe he runs into the man who blows his brains out.

Patty Palmer: Next time?

Lieutenant Lou Baker: Let him go, Miss Palmer.

Patty Palmer: [as Drake and Carter fight] Drake! Stop it, you're killing him! Stop it! Drake! GODDAMN IT!

Patty Palmer: Stop it!

Patty Palmer: You all right?

Drake Goodman: You're arresting the wrong FUCKING man! YOU'RE ARRESTING THE WRONG MAN!

Stephanie MacDonald: Why didn't you tell me you tried to force him out?

Drake Goodman: I didn't think it mattered.

Stephanie MacDonald: You set us back months.

Drake Goodman: He's lying!

Stephanie MacDonald: This guy has been playing you like a piano concerto.

Drake Goodman: Me? What about you? I got a guy livin in my building who hasn't paid one cent! Not only can't you get him out, but now I owe him money?

Stephanie MacDonald: Maybe you'd like to retain another attorney.

Patty Palmer: [sighs] Stephanie. Please don't quit. Drake's been under a lot of pressure. The bank is threatening to foreclose on us.

Stephanie MacDonald: This isn't a moral question, Patricia. Morally, you're right. You win. Big deal. This is a game and the object of the game is to get Hayes out of your building before he destroys your lives. He knows you're gonna get him out eventually. He's just trying stay there as long as he can.

Patty Palmer: Why?

Stephanie MacDonald: I don't know! Because it's possible. Because he's evil. What difference does it make? It's nothing personal. God forbid he ever makes it personal.

Drake Goodman: [as they are house painting] You have to remember this is an investment, Patty. You can't afford to do everything at once.

Patty Palmer: It's not just an investment - it's our home.

Patty Palmer: [before sex with Drake] I wish I had spurs.

Alice Baxter: Uhm, Ms. McGill?

Tess McGill: Yes.

Alice Baxter: [pointing to private office] That's your desk... in there...

Tess McGill: I don't think so.

Alice Baxter: Oh, yes. I sit out here.

Tess McGill: Sorry, I thought the secretary would sit out here...

Alice Baxter: That's right, I'm the secretary. If you don't mind, I'd prefer assistant...Maybe now would be a good time to go over what you expect from me, Ms. McGill.

Tess McGill: I expect you to call me "Tess". I don't expect you to fetch me coffee, unless you're getting some for yourself...and we'll just make up the rest as we go along.

Tess McGill: You can bend the rules plenty once you get to the top, but not while you're trying to get there. And if you're someone like me, you can't get there without bending the rules

Oren Trask: You've got a real fire in your belly. Or was this just a one-time stunt that you pulled?

Tess McGill: I'm not quite sure what you mean, sir. I've got something in my belly, but I think it's nervous knots.

Tess McGill: [to Katharine] Look, you, maybe you've got everyone around here fooled with this saint act you have going, but do not ever speak to me again like we don't know what really happened! You got me?

Katherine Parker: Tess, this is business. Let's just bury the hatchet, okay?

Tess McGill: [to Jack] You know where you can bury your hatchet? Now get your bony ass outta my sight! And if you really think that I said I loved you as part of some scheme, then that is really pathetic, you know?

Katharine Parker: My God, she'll stop at nothing.

Tess McGill: [to Jack] Look, we're in a business deal together now, and I just don't think that we should get involved that way. My life is real complicated as it is.

Jack Trainer: I don't want to complicate it either. I just thought dinner, maybe a movie.

Tess McGill: We both know what we're talking about.

Jack Trainer: I certainly hope so!

Tess McGill: You know, maybe I just don't like you.

Jack Trainer: Me? Naaah!

Tess McGill: How did you get the scar?

Jack Trainer: Some guy pulled a knife in Detroit.

Tess McGill: Really?

Jack Trainer: No. No, I was nineteen and I thought it'd be cool to have a pierced ear. My girlfriend stuck the needle through and I heard this pop and fainted and hit my chin on the toilet.

Tess McGill: [laughs] Have you been telling that story ever since?

Jack Trainer: You're the only one who knows the true story.

Tess McGill: Except the girlfriend?

Jack Trainer: I had her, uh... disappear. It's too bad. Nice girl. Real shame.

Cynthia: Look, all I'm saying is, if you're so smart, why don't you act smart and save your ass while you still can. Else they're gonna find out, you're not gonna have your job, or any job. You're outta your man and your home already!

Tess McGill: I'm gonna come clean as soon as I get my end set up. I swear. I know what I'm doing.

Cynthia: Yeah, so do I... screwing up your life.

Tess McGill: No, I'm trying to make it better! I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life working my ass off and getting nowhere just because I followed rules that I had nothing to do with setting up, okay?

Mick Dugan: I want to get things solidified. Things in my life! You're not the only one with plans, you know!

Tess McGill: I said, maybe.

Mick Dugan: Maybe means dick! Fuck maybe! I want an answer now!

Tess McGill: Please, don't yell at me! You treat me like I'm dumb!

Mick Dugan: Why are we always talkin about the way you get treated, huh? Who the fuck died and made you Grace Kelly?!

Tess McGill: I am not steak! You can't just order me!

Mick Dugan: Look, I don't need this! You get your priorities straight, maybe we'll talk. Right now, we're history.

Mick Dugan: Tess, will you marry me?

Tess McGill: Maybe.

Mick Dugan: Ya call that an answer?

Tess McGill: You want another answer, ask another girl.

Tess McGill: Why did you say you weren't you last night?

Jack Trainer: Because I knew it would happen. All Mergers and Acquisitions. No lust and tequila.

Tess McGill: That was... I mean that just happened, okay? I want to make it clear, um... What did happen, exactly?

Jack Trainer: [gropes about in his coat pockets; grins] The earth moved. The angels wept. The Polaroids are, are, uh... are in my other coat. Nothing happened. Nothing happened!

Tess McGill: I woke up in my underwear.

Jack Trainer: I'll bet you look nice.

Tess McGill: Shoot me, just shoot me.

Cynthia: Will you cut that out, they didn't throw you out, did they?

Tess McGill: Well, they don't exactly have bouncers at these things, they're a little more subtle than that, Cyn. Oh God, and last night!

Cynthia: Yeah, I should've checked the miligrams. Live and learn. Well, maybe, he'll feel sorry for you and make it up to your doing your deal or whatever it is.

Tess McGill: I'm not looking for sympathy. You know, I had a shot at it... you know!

Tess McGill: [after taking several shots of tequila] Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Jack Trainer: You okay?

Tess McGill: Mmm, I'm fine. I'm just fine. I took an antihistamine before, and it makes for a nice little buzz.

Jack Trainer: Oh, I didn't know that they let bad girls into these things.

Tess McGill: Do I look like I don't belong here?

Jack Trainer: No. No, I'm sure that you're a real ace in whatever it is that you do do.

Tess McGill: Damn straight.

Jack Trainer: But how you look...

Tess McGill: I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?

Jack Trainer: Uh, no. No.

Jack Trainer: I've been looking for you.

Tess McGill: Why, do you know me?

Jack Trainer: No. No, but I promised myself that when I saw you, I would get to know you. You're the first woman I've seen in one of these damn things that dresses like a woman, not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a woman.

Tess McGill: Thank you I guess.

Cynthia: [watching a chandelier that lowers from the ceiling] Why does it do that?

Tess McGill: For cleaning...

Cynthia: Are you kiddin me?

Tess McGill: No, I'm not.

Katharine Parker: I think he's it, and I think this could be the weekend we decide. He said that there was something very important that he wanted to discuss with me. I think he's going to pop the question.

Tess McGill: What if he doesn't?... pop the question?

Katharine Parker: I really don't think that's a variable. We're in the same city now, I've indicated that I'm receptive to an offer, I've cleared the month of June... and I am, after all, me.

Katharine Parker: Ugh! What a slob.

Tess McGill: You were so smooth with him. I probably would have...

Katharine Parker: Never burn bridges. Today's junior prick, tomorrow's senior partner. So, how do you think the party's going?

Tess McGill: Pretty well, I think. Should I stop serving now?

Katherine Parker: Better make one more round.

Tess McGill: Right.

Katharine Parker: I'd love to help you but... we can't busy the quarterback with passing out the Gatorade.

Personnel Director: Tess, Tess, Tess...

Tess McGill: I know.

Personnel Director: You won't get anywhere by calling your boss a pimp.

Tess McGill: Well, he is.

Cynthia: Can I get ya anything, Mr. Trainer? Coffee? Tea? Me?

Tess McGill: [to Jack] Isn't she a riot. That'll be all, Cynthia.

Tess McGill: No lunch. I got speech class.

Cynthia: What'dya need speech class for? You talk fine!

Tess McGill: I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?

Tess McGill: [from her new, private office] Hey, Cyn. Guess where I am.

Tess McGill: [Mick has bought Tess some lingerie for her birthday] Y'know, Mick, just once I could go for like a sweater or some earrings... something that I could actually wear outside of this apartment?

Teeny: It's normal for things to be shitty.