Transylvania 6-5000 - Humor in Uncertainty
Fejos:
Is good, ya? Is funny?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Transylvania 6-5000 - A Unique Offer in Transylvania
Fejos:
Would you like to buy a monkey?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - A Disparaging Exchange Between Two Characters
R.J. Fletcher:
You are a worthless human being, Mr., um...
Stanley Spadowski:
Spadowski, sir. Stanley Spadowski.
R.J. Fletcher: [chuckles]
Might I call you Stanley?
Stanley Spadowski: [chuckles]
Okay...
R.J. Fletcher:
Stanley, YOU'RE FIRED!!
Stanley Spadowski:
But I-I-I didn't --
R.J. Fletcher:
GET OUT!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Janitor Dreams of Daily Fun
George Newman:
Did you have a good time in there, Stanley?
Stanley Spadowski:
Yeah yeah. That was FUN.
George Newman:
Great! How would you like to do that every day?
Stanley Spadowski:
Yeah! That would be neat - WAIT A minute! Do I...still get to be the janitor?
George Newman: [Incredulously]
Sure.
Stanley Spadowski:
It's a DEAL!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Missing Items on the Desk
R.J. Fletcher:
Do you see anything missing from this desk?
Stanley Spadowski: [Snapping his finger and pointing]
That stapler?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Cautionary Words from Stanley Spadowski
Stanley Spadowski:
Watch out, Mr. Coyote... Aww.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Stanley's Snack Time Discovery and Excitement
Stanley Spadowski: [pauses and considers; grabs box of Corn Flakes; rummages his hand in the box]
This is pretty good watermelon......Tastes like poop. I'm gonna eat some Corn Flakes. These are pretty good...WHOA!! Free toy inside! Free toy inside!! Let's find it. Don't let your mom know that you do this.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Colorful Thoughts and Nostalgic References
Stanley Spadowski: [laughs; singing; Thugs push him into the closet]
I'm thinkin of something orange. Something orange. Give up? It's an orange. Ok, now I'm thinkin of something blue. Something bluuuuuue. DUN-DADA-DUN-DADA-DUN-DADA-DUN-DADA DAA DAAAAA!! Don't you like Bonanza?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Finding Luck in Unexpected Places
Stanley Spadowski:
Oh, Joel Miller, you just found the marble in the oatmeal! You're a very, very, very lucky little boy. You know why? You get to drink from...THE FIRE HOOOOOSE!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
UHF - Life Lessons Through a Mop
Stanley Spadowski: [Grinning]
This is my new mop. My friend George, he gave me this mop. It's a pretty good mop. It's not as good as my old mop, I miss my old mop. But it's still a good mop. Sometimes, you gotta take what life gives you, cause life is like a mop. And sometimes, life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff, but you've got to clean it out. You gotta put it in here and rinse it out and start all over again. And sometimes, life sticks to the floor so bad a mop isn't good enough. It's not good enough. You gotta get down here with, like, a toothbrush or something, and really scrub, and if that doesn't work, if that doesn't work...you can't give up. You've got to run a window and yell, "HEY! THESE FLOORS ARE AS DIRTY AS HELL , AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.