Memorable Quotes from Michael Vartan
3 quotesUrgency in the Face of Crisis
Pete McKell
The tide is moving in quick and people are falling apart. We've got to do something. Now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Delivery Protocols in a Hotel Setting
Sy Parrish
Room Service.
[Knocks on hotel door 511, where he hears Will Yorkin and Maya Burson having sex]
Maya
Can you leave it outside the door, please?
Sy Parrish
No Ma'am. I'm afraid you'll have to sign for this.
Maya Burson
Just a second...
Sy Parrish
You. Get on the bed.
[Maya unlocks the door, at that moment Sy forces the door open, injuring Maya on her forehead. A naked Will immediately gets up. Sy then produces a large industrial knife]
Sy Parrish
Get on the Goddamnn bed!
[In a threatening manner]
Will Yorkin
Look, look, I've got plenty of cash in my pants and wallet and...
[Thinking it's a robbery]
Sy Parrish
Shut up! Close the drapes. CLOSE THEM!!!
Sy Parrish
Who told you to do that?
[After closing the curtain drapes, Will wraps a towel around his waist]
Will Yorkin
I closed the drapes!
Sy Parrish
Did I tell you to wrap a towel around yourself?
Will Yorkin
No.
Sy Parrish
Let me explain what's goin on here. I tell you to do things, then you fucking do them exactly like I tell you. I'm gonna tell you this one time and one time only. You got the picture?
Will Yorkin
Yeah
Sy Parrish
Do you understand me?
Maya Burson
Yes.
Sy Parrish
Good. Now get on the bed.
Sy Parrish
NOW!!!!
[When Will moves his hands toward Maya, Sy shouts]
Sy Parrish
Jesus. Am I talking to a brick wall? Did I tell you to touch her?
[Tries to calm down after having a brief mental breakdown]
Will Yorkin
No!
Sy Parrish
I don't want you to touch her. If you touch her again, I'll stab you in the heart.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Perils in Travel Writing
Pete McKell
I just saw a man get eaten by a fucking crocodile. This is not what I do, alright. You know what I do? I write stupid articles about hotels, restaurants, and resorts. Not about the Australian Outback. And by the way, I fucking hate animals, especially ones that can kill you! Speaking of which, I'm going to kill my fucking editor when I get home.
[pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.