Slither - Regrets of a Missed Opportunity
Starla Grant:
Bet you regret not running off with me to Hollywood now, hey, Bill?
Bill Pardy:
Oh, hell, Starla, I always regretted that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - A Day Full of Negativity
Kylie Strutemyer:
What are we gonna do now?
Bill Pardy:
Probably turn into a couple of these fucked-up things.
Kylie Strutemyer:
That's kind of negative.
Bill Pardy:
Well, it's been that sort of day.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Debate Over Martians and Their Definition
Jack McCready:
He's a goddamn Martian?
Bill Pardy:
Martians is from Mars, Jack.
Jack McCready:
Or it's a general term meaning "outer space fucker.
Bill Pardy:
No, it isn't.
Jack McCready:
Look it up, cocksucker.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Frustration Amidst Chaos and Absurdity
Jack McCready:
Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon and worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars. People are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb!
Bill Pardy:
Jesus Christ, Jack. Let me get right on it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Commitment in Difficult Times
Starla Grant: [to a transformed Grant]
You're just sick. We're just here to take you to get some help. Right now. And I'm gonna stay by you. Just like I swore I would. For better or worse.
Bill Pardy:
Much fuckin worse...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Childhood Memories and Aspirations Unfulfilled
Bill Pardy:
Hey, Starla. You remember that time we were kids and you came knocking on my window in the middle of the night? So Starla here, 12. I guess I was 14. I said, "Starla, what the hell are you doing out there?" She says that she's gonna run away to Hollywood and be a big star. And she knew I was in the ROTC, so she says she needs a bodyguard and invites me to come along. And I said, "Starla, if there's anyone who can take care of herself, "I think it's you. I'm gonna have to decline.
Wally Whale:
How far did you get?
Starla Grant:
About the bus stop. Because Ranger Rick here called my dad.
Wally Whale:
Damn. A cop from the get-go. You son of a bitch!
Starla Grant:
You fucked up our fame and fortune there, Bill Pardy.
Bill Pardy:
Yeah. Yeah, I guess maybe I did.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Rancher Theft Sparks Characters' Banter
Bill Pardy:
Two nights ago, a mare was stolen from this property owned by Fitzgibbon. That rancher with the cleft palate?
Wally Whale:
Yeah. I know that guy. He looks like a chipmunk.
Bill Pardy:
Your mama weren't too proud when you came out neither, Wally.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Discussion on Lyme Disease and Its Effects
Jack McReady:
Well, it's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease.
Bill Pardy:
What?
Jack McReady:
Lyme disease. You touch some deer feces and then you eat a sandwich without washing your hands, you got your Lyme disease.
Bill Pardy:
And that makes you look like a squid?
Jack McReady:
Well, fuck you all for laughing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Unexpected Confession in a Small Town
Jack McReady:
Town Council lit a Roman candle, stuck it up my ass!
Bill Pardy:
Jack, your leisure activities ain't my business.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Unexpected Insults Among Friends
Wally Whale:
Surprised you're able to lift a mug, you've been carrying that torch for so long.
Bill Pardy:
Oh, that reminds me of something I want to tell you.
Wally Whale:
What's that?
Bill Pardy:
Fuck you, fat ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Unexpected Reaction to Disturbing Situation
Bill Pardy:
Well, now that is some fucked up shit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Tested Patience in Challenging Circumstances
Bill Pardy:
My easygoing nature is getting sorely fucking tested.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Bill's Opinion on Grant's Affinity for Dogs
Bill Pardy:
I reckon Grant ain't got one of them puppy calendars on his desk. He just don't strike me as a real dog lover, is all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Unexpected Comparisons in Unusual Circumstances
Bill Pardy:
Grant looks like a squid, don't know where he's gonna hide... Seaworld maybe.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Slither - Reflections on Hunting and Joylessness
Bill Pardy:
I will never understand what joy a grown man gets using a $1,000 weapon to blow the face off a cute little deer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.