Transylvania 6-5000 - Journalistic Standards and Vocabulary Expectations
Jack Harrison:
Look, didn't you hire me to raise the journalistic level of this paper?
Mac Turner: [points to Gil]
Wrong! I hired you to raise the vocabulary level of this paper. I want to keep the journalistic level very low. Why do you think I teamed you up with him?
Gil Turner:
Hey, I'm a team player.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Transylvania 6-5000 - Family Ties and Workplace Challenges
Gil Turner:
You can't fire me, I'm your son.
Mac Turner:
Prove it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Transylvania 6-5000 - The Value of Sensationalism in Transylvania
Mac Turner:
Crap? I like crap. I love crap. I need crap. Crap is what sells newspapers. Look around you. Crap, crap, crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap.
The Mayor: [[Dracula; [Creature from the Black Lagoon; [Godzilla (1954 film)|Godzilla; [The Blob]
This is Transylvania. Don't you want to ask us about ]? How about the ]? I got ] in the next room. How about ]?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
PT 109 - Discussion of a Book and Its Author
Edmund Drewitch: [reading a brief on Kennedy]
Seems like all he ever did was go to school. He's had no sea duty. Says here he wrote a book.
Leon Drawdy:
Sounds like he oughta be in charge of a library.
Charles Bucky Harris:
What's the name of the book?
Edmund Drewitch:
Why England Slept.
Charles Bucky Harris: [around a cigar stub]
Got any pictures in it?
Edmund Drewitch:
Pigeons?
Charles Bucky Harris:
Pictures, idiot!
Edmund Drewitch:
He's lookin for pictures and I'm an idiot.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Catch-22 - Office Protocol in Catch-22
Maj. Major Major Major:
Sergeant, from now on, I don't want anyone to come in and see me while I'm in my office. Is that clear?
First Sgt. Towser:
Yes, sir. What do I say to people who want to come in and see you while you're in your office?
Maj. Major Major Major:
Tell them I'm in and ask them to wait.
First Sgt. Towser:
For how long?
Maj. Major Major Major:
Until I've left.
First Sgt. Towser:
And then what do I do with them?
Maj. Major Major Major:
I don't care.
First Sgt. Towser:
May I send people in to see you after you've left?
Maj. Major Major Major:
Yes.
First Sgt. Towser:
You won't be here then, will you?
Maj. Major Major Major:
No.
First Sgt. Towser:
Yes, sir. When should I come in your office and ask if there's anything I can do for you?
Maj. Major Major Major:
When I'm not there.
First Sgt. Towser:
What do I do then?
Maj. Major Major Major:
Whatever has to be done.
First Sgt. Towser:
Yes, sir.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.