Memorable Quotes from Oliver Cooper
10 quotesUnexpected News About Significant Others at Party
Tim
Nate, what's up, man? Did you see? Significant others are welcome at the party.
Drew
Look at that. Looks like we're finally gonna meet Becca.
Nate
Yeah. Um, oh, shoot. Uh, except she's working late tonight. Modelling.
Tim
Is she shooting the cover... of "Full of Shit" magazine?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Party Chaos and Heated Confrontation
Rob
Hey Oliver! Great party buddy. You owe me a fucking tree, you piece of shit!
[as the riot police close in; points to a flaming tree in his front yard]
Costa
All we were doing was trying to have a good time, you cocksucking motherfucker! This is your fault!
Rob
I'll kill you, you fucking punk! You know where you're going? You're going to jail you motherfucker! You're gonna-OW!
Costa
Yeah! That's my boys! Suck my dick, Robert! Suck my fucking dick!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confession of Regret and Frustration
Costa
Wow. I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to fix any of this shit. I'm sorry Thomas. I just wanted to get some pussy.
[after the car is driven into the pool]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Party Expectations and Realizations
Thomas
Is this big enough to be cool?
[on the roof, looking at the party below]
Costa
Game changer. Are you hearing this? This is your fucking Party man!
[The crowd below is chanting Thomas' name]
Thomas
You're right dude. I needed this.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Costa introduces the party and its significance
Costa
What up my lovely females? This is your boy Costa, your host for the evening. Behind me is Thomas Kub's house. Today is Thomas Kub's birthday, and this is Project X, yo.
[on video; grabs crotch]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Pool Maintenance Comment
Costa
The next time your pool guy comes by for a clean, he's gonna say, "Excuse me Mr. Kub, but I think I may have found some water in your semen.
[about the "Naked Girls Only" sign by the pool]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Party Tensions Rise Among Friends
Rob
Hey, Thomas. Look man I don't want to be a dick here or anything, but your friend Oliver came by earlier and told me you guys were having a little party but this is too much.
[knocking on the door]
Thomas
Yeah. We actually should be winding down like midnight, maybe 1. Is that okay?
Rob
No, it's not. I'm sorry. The baby can't sleep and Melinda's gotta be up early for work.
Costa
Fuck yeah! My boy Rob is here to rage! Good to see you, brother.
[walks up]
Rob
Whoa, yeah. Actually I'm not raging, but I'm just telling Thomas it's time to shut it down.
Costa
You can't be serious. This is a great party. What the fuck?
Rob
I am serious because it's 11:30 at night and it's time to wrap it up.
J.B.
Hey, hey, hey. Why don't we just bring everyone to the back and lower the volume a bit.
Rob
Guys, this isn't a request! The party's over.
Costa
I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree then, aren't we?
Rob
Listen to me. Thomas, either shut it down or I'm calling the cops. Fine, fuck it! I'm calling the fucking cops.
Costa
Fuck! Oh shit!
J.B.
Jesus fucking Christ! What did you do that for?
Costa
Are you fucking kidding me? I will fucking kill you!
[Rob punches Everett in the face]
Rob
The little fuck tazed me! I'm definitely calling the cops now!
Costa
You punched a kid in the face! I'm calling the cops on your ass now!
Rob
Do it, genius! It's all on tape. I just saw this mother fucker record it right here.
Dax
No, all I got was you punching that little child's face.
Rob
Fuck you!
Costa
Go home, Robert!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Apologies Among Friends in Project X
Costa
I love you guys. No seriously. Look I realize I can be like a huge dick sometimes, I'm really sorry for that.
[All three are sprawled on the front lawn, high on ecstacy]
Thomas
It's okay.
Costa
No it's not. JB, I'm sorry for buying you a bra on your birthday. That wasn't cool.
J.B.
Wasn't cool man.
Costa
And I'm sorry for all the times I called you "fat fuck." "Pudgy bitch." "Fudgy the whale." And I'm sorry for that time at your brother's Bar Mitzvah when I told everyone you look like ] because you don't.
[[w:Rosie O'Donnell|Rosie O'Donnell]
J.B.
I don't.
Thomas
Hey guys? I hooked up with Kirby. I'm like, really into her.
Costa
Okay seriously Thomas, that's like cool and all, but she's like always been around. It's like hooking up with J.B., but her tits are smaller.
J.B.
Hey.
Costa
I'm just saying. Kirby's sort of like, one of us. Tonight's about the girls we never had a shot at. Tonight's about changing the game.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Boss Asks Employees for Unconventional Help
Nate
Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns to hack into Clay's phone so we can find him.
Tim
Come on, why would we help you, dude? Seriously?
Drew
Yeah, why would we help you?
Nate
Because I'm your fucking boss, and I'm telling you to.
[grabs Tim by the collar]
Drew
He can't touch him!
[turns to Mary]
Mary
I'll allow it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Peer Pressure and Consequences of Actions
Thomas
My parents are gonna crucify me if anything gets fucked up! You know what I don't care if everyone thinks I'm a dick, I'm getting them out of the house.
Costa
Dude come on.
Costa
Dude what the fuck are you doing? Thomas! Please don't embarrass me like this!
Thomas
Hey listen up!
Alexis
Yeah, Thomas! Woow!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.