Memorable Quotes from Oscar Kightley
4 quotesDiscussion about Tanya's romantic interests
Stanley
What about Tanya? Tanya, who you work with?
[Albert looks back at him]
Michael
I thought she's seeing someone else.
Albert
She hangs out with Derek.
Stanley
She thinks he's a dick.
Michael
So how come she's going out with him?
Stanley
She's not going out with him?
Michael
That's not what she said when I asked her to go to the wedding with me.
Albert
Michael, you asked Tanya?!?! Are there any girls I like that you haven't asked out?!
[snaps]
Stanley
So you do like her.
Albert
So? She hangs out with dickwick Derek and his homeboys. He's obviously the someone else.
Stanley
Or...she hangs out with Derek because she's lonely? Cause the dickwick she likes doesn't know she exists.
Michael
How do you know all this?
Stanley
I'm not just a pair of fancy shoes, you know.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Relationships During a Wedding Celebration
Albert
So we're different people when these girls around Even Sefa behaves when Leilani is with him, that's why he never takes her anywhere. Sione's like a little brother to us.
[The others agree; Pastor prepares swing but stops]
Michael
Especially me, sir.
Stanley
They're related.
Albert
And this is the last wedding we'd want to ruin.
[Pastor's swing is interrupted again; Gang agrees]
Michael
Right, Sione?
[Sione shrugs]
Pastor
Not just dates. Not some girl foolish enough to say Yes to a night out and free food. You must bring girlfriends.
[Points club head to each of the four]
Albert
Girlfriends?
Stanley
But Your Majesty, Albert hasn't had a girlfriend in 30 years!
Albert
Good one, Stanley.
Pastor
Someone to whom you've made a commitment.
Michael
Commitment?
Pastor
Commitment'? Girlfriend'? Other words you don't understand, ah? You must find someone who sees the good in you. Bring her to my church on the day of Sione's wedding. Turn up alone, and Eugene will be more than happy to toss you into the street.
[Mimics; Normal voice; Makes the swing, but the ball bounces off the golf cart and Sefa's head before it lands inches away from the hole]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Memories of Weddings and Community Challenges
Pastor
We have a problem. As a shepherd of the Lord charged with watching over our little community, I have officiated at many happy occasions. Celebrations of love, togetherness, peace and harmony...and there are weddings you four have attended. Shall we watch some? Tavita's wedding.
[Sefa, Albert, Michael, and Stanley agree, and an assistant readies the VCR.]
Sione
It's not funny guys, it's not funny! Do you know what the hell you've done!?!?
[in footage]
Pastor
And Albert, don't think anyone has forgotten Iakopo's wedding.
Pastor
Sefa, don't think anyone has forgotten Mose's wedding.
[as assistant switches tapes]
Pastor
And just last night, your crowning glory. Eugene's wedding.
[Albert coldly looks at a sweaty Stanley.]
Stanley
Bolo, Bolo, Bolo! You didn't see me, okay? I was not here! Later!
[off-cam voice; speaks to camera]
Albert
Eugene's gone ballistic....
[off-cam; The lens is blocked]
Various Voices In Camera
Shut up, shut up! Turn it off! No, you shut up!
Pastor
Shame and heartache, because of FOUR IMMATURE FOOLS! My flock have commanded to me, and that is why my decree, is this...at Sione's wedding, all of you...are banned. Our meeting is over.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship and Boundaries in Conversation
Derek
Albert.
Albert
Derek.
Derek
Sole man, where you going?
Albert
Inside to talk to Tanya and stop calling me sole, alright?
Derek
Why?
Albert
What do you mean why? Cause you're white, not Samoan.
Derek
Nah, I mean why you wanna talk to Tanya?
Albert
That's none of your business.
Derek
You disrespecting me?
[looks strangely at Albert]
Albert
Hey?
[laughing]
Derek
Comin on my turf, getting all up on my girl. Sole man, you know how we do it in the hood.
[Sefa, Michael, and Stanley laugh]
Michael
Just hit the prick, Albert.
Albert
Derek...this is not a ], okay? So stop being a dick and get out of my way.
[[w:Bad (Michael Jackson song)#Music video|Michael Jackson video; Michael, Sefa, and Stanley crack up]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.