Memorable Quotes from Patrick Baynham
1 quoteElves and Their Unique Jobs
Papa Elf
Oh, hello. You're, uh, you're probably here. About the, uh, the story. Elves love to tell stories. I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves. There's, uh, probably a lot of things You... you didn't know about elves. Another... another interesting, uh, elf-ism, uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf. The first is making shoes at night, while, you know, while the old... the old cobbler sleeps.
Shoe elf
Lazy bum. Couldn't even make a clog.
Papa Elf
] scene] You can bake cookies in a tree.
[''Scene cuts to an [[w:Tree house|oak tree house]
Elf
Hey!
Papa Elf
As you can imagine, it's, uh, ]
[[w:Keebler Company|dangerous having an oven in an oak tree during the dry season.]
Baker elf
I wanna make shoes!
[''Scene of elves fleeing an oak tree going up in flames'']
Papa Elf
But the third job... uh, some call it, uh, "The show," or... or "the big dance," it's the profession that every elf aspires to, and that is to build toys in ].
[''scene cuts to the workshop scene''; [w:Santa's workshop|Santa's workshop]
Supervisor Elf
Only two weeks left till Christmas!
Papa Elf
It's a job only an elf can do. Our... our nimble fingers, natural cheer, and active minds are perfect for toy-building. They... they tried using ] and ], But the gnomes drank too much... and the trolls weren't toilet trained. No human being has ever set... set foot in Santa's workshop. Uh, that is until about 30 years ago, and, as you may have guessed, that's where our story begins.
[[w:gnomes|gnomes; [w:trolls|trolls; ''scene of gnome belches''; ''Troll in diaper farts'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.