Paul OldhamQuotes

Scott: I'm never drinking again. Coop, wake up.

Cooper: Oh, man, that was a wild night.

Scott: You think?

Cooper: Scotty, where the hell are we going?

Scott: Don't worry. If anything bad happens, my parents will find us.

Scott's mother: Honey, where's Scotty?

Scott's father: Cooper said they were going camping.

Scott's mother: Oh, that's nice. And where's Bert?

Scott's father: Fuck if I know.

Mad Maynard: [[w:Geopolitics|given the current geopolitical climate; [w:European Parliament|all European countries should have a seat at the table] Hey! How are you, you scalawag! Look, ], ].

Cooper: Right.

Mad Maynard: [[w:Italian people|those fucking Ities] Except ]. I hate them Italian bastards. You know what I mean?

Scott: Excuse me.

Mad Maynard: Hello, boyo!

Scott: What the hell happened last night?

Mad Maynard: You got steamed up, pissed as a fart. Too much sauce, son! Don't worry. We come and got ya, so you wouldn't miss the trip.

Scott: What trip? Where are we going? What do you mean, where are we going?

Mad Maynard: [''All hooligans break out in cheers''] We're going to see the Mighty Reds do the frogs in Paris. Aren't we, boys? Yeah!

Cooper: [''To hooligan''] Why are you yelling at me?

Cecil: [''[[w:Manchester dialect|With heavy Mancunian accent] So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yardballs!

Cooper: Wow. You guys are on a completely different level of swearing over here.

Scott: Coop? Cooper, we're going to Paris!

Cooper: I know. Cecil told me.

Scott: Mieke's in Berlin.

Cooper: We're not going to Berlin.

Scott: What are we gonna do? We need a plan.

Cooper: See what I'm talking about? This is predictable Scotty talking. Relax. Paris is practically a suburb of Berlin. It's a nothing commute.

Scott: [[w:French-German relations|That's why France and Germany have always been allies] ].

Hooligan: Aye, allies.

Scott: The twins. The twins are in Paris, right? We can call them. They could help. Let me see your phone.

Cooper: [''Scott snatches the phone''] Okay, but I'm only supposed to use this for business calls. Hey, don't...

Mad Maynard: [''Spots a supporter of the rival team''; ''All the hooligans charge after the man''] Hey, lads! That wanker's got a frog football shirt on! Let's give this nancy a fucking good kicking! Come on, lads, he's going off!

Scott: [''Spots them''] All right. Twins said they'd meet us here. Look at that! There they are. Come on. Jenny! Jamie! Hey! Come here!

Jenny: No, no. No, no, no! Scott, bienvenue a Paris!

Scott: Thank you.

Cooper: Is that a new camera?

Jamie: It isn't just a camera, this is a Leica M. Uber-sensitive exposure settings, legendary cloth shutter system.

Cooper: Let me see that thing.

Jamie: [[w:Lacrosse|I spent four years tutoring lacrosse players] No can do. ] to pay for it, so nobody touches my camera but me.

Cooper: [[w:Human penis|your wiener] It's like ].

Jamie: No, it's not... Jenny...

Jenny: Cooper, leave him alone. Wow, I can't believe you came all the way to Europe for a girl.

Cooper: Wait, not just any girl. Show her the picture, Scotty. She makes girls in our high school look like walruses.

Jenny: I'm a girl from your high school.

Cooper: No, I mean "girl" girls.

Scott: [[w:Louvre|the Louvre] Guys, we're wasting the whole day here. We're in Paris! Let's go to ]!

In unison: To the Louvre!

Cooper: [[w:Eiffel Tower|the Eiffel Tower] So, you guys wanna stay here, or should we check out the huge line at ]?

Jamie: [[w:Voltaire|Voltaire; [w:syphilis|syphilis] Here's a fun fact. ] contracted ] two blocks from here. Should we go?

Cooper: Can we please get out of here? This guy's really creeping me out.

Scott: Who, robot man? He's just trying to feed his robot family.

Cooper: I really don't like him.

Scott: Why? Because he's doing this?

Cooper: Okay, seriously, don't do that. Cooper. Do not hate me.

Scott: [''Robotman pushes him''] I am familiar with over 600 dance moves and I am programmed to get... freaky. You're just upset because people like me better. It's okay. Oh!

Jenny: Fight! Fight!

Cooper: Break the leg shot!

Scott: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Jamie: Don't look in his eyes, Scotty.

Scott's friends: Ohhh! That was not cool. Oh!

Scott: Guys, let's go. Come on.

Robotman: Error! Error! Error!

Scott: How cool is this? It's a shame we only get to spend one day together. Why don't you come to Berlin?

Jamie: Umm, no.

Scott: [[w:Denmark|Denmark] Jamie, come on. In a few months, we go to different colleges. This could be the last chance the four of us are together like this. Plus, we're in Europe. Huh? This should be the trip of a lifetime. There's no way we should split up. All right, this table is now Europe, Okay? Excuse me. We are right here, in Paris, and I have got to get to Mieke, who is over here, in Berlin. If you come with us, I'm sure there's a ton of great stuff to see along the way. We can go to ].

Jenny: I love Denmark.

Cooper: [[w:Amsterdam|Amsterdam] We gotta hit ].

Scott: Definitely.

Jamie: [[w:Camaret|the cathedral at Cameret] And ]!

Scott: Yeah... Maybe. We'll see.

Cooper: Whatever.

Scott: If there's time. Come on! I really want you to be there when I meet Mieke.

Cooper: Fine.

Scott: Excellent! All right! A toast!

Cooper: Yes!

Scott: To Mieke! To Europe!

In unison: To Europe! Merci. Berlin, here we come! All right.